Comments on: The white flag goes up…

By: Running Away

Running Away — Sat, 07 May 2011 06:46:36 +0000

[...] unfortunate fact of my life. More about that one day…) Later in elementary school, when the emotional bullying started, in addition to wondering about suicide, I thought about running away. A lot. Just so I did [...]

By: I will stab anyone who says “Boys will always be boys”

I will stab anyone who says “Boys will always be boys” — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 19:25:40 +0000

[...] in me that he started it because he liked me. (It’s a long story which I have written about here) It does not matter: I thought about killing myself because in my mind at that time there was [...]

By: Absence Alternatives

Absence Alternatives — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 13:06:30 +0000

@ Jane Thanks for listening in. At first I was worried I might be sharing too much. Than from the few comments I got here, I realized that what I considered to be an "extraordinary" childhood may be "normal" after all. Growing up is tough. Sometimes I try to remind myself that when the kids are struggling themselves.

By: Jane

Jane — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 01:12:39 +0000

I like listening in on your therapy sessions. They make me feel normal. I, too, was an ugly duckling. Even my mother, while looking at some pictures of me taken in middle school said, “I’d forgotten how homely you were!” My own mother!
.-= Jane´s last blog…An Artist I’m Not – But He Is =-.

By: Absence Alternatives

Absence Alternatives — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 13:21:45 +0000

@ Stacey Hi there! *blushing* what you said about my tweets... Many thanks. Thank you for stopping by. I hope this reply finds its way back to you. Yes, it is a constant battle and reminder. I also believe such experiences make us more attuned to the feelings of the others, and sometimes I wonder whether there is something good out of this for me: it did shape me into the person I am today. Thank YOU for sharing your story.

By: Absence Alternatives

Absence Alternatives — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 13:07:58 +0000

@ Robin Dear Robin, I am sorry that you went through similar childhood experiences. I am conflicted in that I am a trusting person by nature yet on some days I will be this ultra cynical person. I am like Two Face in Batman. You know what? I DO worry about my kids' social life I believe more than what normal dictates. I don't want them to have to go through what I went through, I also don't want them to grow up and become mean people. I try to teach them to not to succumb to peer pressures. But you can guess how easy that's going to be...

By: Stacey

Stacey — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:20:59 +0000

I have enjoyed your tweets for a long time but this is the first time I have seen your blog. And somehow I landed upon this particular posting.

I can totally relate. I had a similar experience in school (5th grade thru high school). I too can feel it’s still there in the back somewhere. I don’t want it to be but it is. Somehow it feels I’m still giving them the power even though I’m sure it’s long forgotten by everyone else.

But I also had a turn of events as you did with the boy on the bus. Except mine came in the form of a Facebook friend request 25 years later. Stunned (and ignored) the FB request did little to heal.

Thanks for sharing your story.

By: Robin

Robin — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 15:58:37 +0000

That is quite a story! Wow! I was treated in a similar way all throughout school, different schools and different people.It still does bother me, I’ve moved on but it’s still in there, deep down inside. I have trouble trusting friends because of it and always will. Because of all that it’s one of the reasons I will most likely never have children.
.-= Robin´s last blog…Seriously =-.

By: Absence Alternatives

Absence Alternatives — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 07:17:51 +0000

@ Falling It was/is complicated, conflicted, contradictory and very confusing. Not a cop out, but truly, all of the above. Plus one: I was also disgusted with myself - why did I let "small things" like that bother me for so long? And also, later, why did I not slap him silly to get even? After so many years, I no longer feel anger. I just really really want to be truly OK. I want to be "free to be you and me", I want to not worry about what other people think of me. I want to not feel the pull/push to run away whenever I am on the verge of making good friends. Does this make any sense at all?

By: Falling

Falling — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 06:44:48 +0000

Wow. What a crazy story.

I’m curious, as one ugly ducking to another: how did you feel after the reunion? A sense of triumph? Or disgust with your former classmates? Or still terrified?
.-= Falling´s last blog…Giving the People (or, um Person) What They Want =-.