All things on cable TV considered, I wish my hotel had porn…

December 8, 2009

in imho is just a polite way to say I know you don't give a hoot what I think but I'm going to say it anyway

I am trapped in a hotel in a Boston suburb. Therefore I did what I always do in this situation: I did the grown-up thing. I went to the bar and got myself multiple drinks, got myself drunk and depressed. Depressed. Apparently alcohol is a depressant. Shit! So that’s what I have been doing wrong. I am always a bit embarrassed by my being a sad, teary drunk. So it is not me. It is the alcohol.

Do you know what cures drunkenness and self-pity before you can say Xanax? A convenient case of indignant outrage. Courtesy of hotel cable TV. Yeah, smart ass. Not porn. I wish it were porn. At least it would not have left such a bad taste in my mouth.

Did you hear about this new anti-healthcare-reform commercial that’s said to be aired nation-wide, starting tomorrow?

The commercial that is getting lots of positive feedback on conservative blogs and websites shows a bunch of white people Euro-Americans looking into the camera, sprinkled in between with three non-white-looking people, and of course, with a mother and her toddler daughter who is sucking on her lollipop, all wide-eyed and innocent. The mother, looking into the camera, says, “I guess we are racists.” (Is your daughter even old enough to be against the healthcare reform? No? Then she is fine. We don’t know about you though.  <– Just kidding! You people have no sense of humor… <– Just kidding! Again!! Did you see what I am trying to accomplish here? I slay me.) The commercial ends with a young, nice-looking African American* man saying, “I guess I am a racist.” (Congratulations, dude. You just got your one and most likely only starring role as an aspiring actor!)

* Someone is very proud of that ending. What a strong finish! See? It’s a black man = He cannot be racist = All the others lily white folks cannot be racist either. Hurray! Martyrs, all of us. “I am Spartacus!” *Cough Cough*

I am the Queen of Passive Aggressiveness. Yet I am floored by the rampant passive aggression exhibited in this video. They must have consulted the Italian, Chinese and Korean mothers in the world. (Sorry, ladies, I love you guys. But have you seen yourselves in the soap operas? Yikes!)

This is what I call Preemptive Jackassery. This is similar, similar ONLY in my poorly-formed analogy since I have had too much to drink at the hotel bar by myself, and NOT in degree, to my calling myself a bitch which liberates me from doing all bitchy things.

“I guess I am a bitch BUT your baby really is ass ugly.”

“I guess I am a bitch BUT those jeans do make your butt look fat.”

“I guess I am a bitch BUT my honor-roll student can totally kick your bully kid’s ass.

Or your calling yourself a dick so you can kick baby kittens.

Or my husband’s saying preemptively, “Honey, I know I am an asshole” just to get out of doing housework throughout the entire marriage.

Remember how Newt Gingrich called Judge Sonia Sotomayor a Racist?

Finally, one thing we can all agree on: we are ALL racists. What’d ya know?

Well, what’d ya know? There’s more.

Sarah Palin reportedly left Hawaii (where she went to the first of the four colleges she attended) because, cough cough, the presence of so many Asians and Pacific Islanders made her uncomfortable: “They were a minority type thing and it wasn’t glamorous, so she came home.”

I have to say, she is being quite brave by still wanting to run for the President in 2012 despite her fear. Think of all the Asian people she needs to meet when she runs for POTUS AND all the Asian countries she needs to visit when she becomes POTUS? She will need to meet with Chinese government officials, mostly male most likely, and shake their hands. Yeeeewwww! It’s going to be like the Indiana Jones trope: “Snakes, why did it have to be snakes?”

“Asians, why do they have to be Asians?”

You go girl. Confront your phobia.

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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Elly Lou December 8, 2009 at 9:05 am

Don’t EVEN get me started on health care. You should hear some of the young adult cancer stories…no you shouldn’t. No one should. They shouldn’t exist, damnitall.

Just remember that fantastic quote you shared with us after your “Nothing to Fear From Love and Commitment” post. In fact, here’s another one for you:

Politics is a strong and slow boring of hard boards. It takes both passion and perspective. Certainly all historical experience confirms the truth – that man would not have attained the possible unless time and again he had reached out for the impossible. But to do that a man must be a leader, and not only a leader but a hero as well, in a very sober sense of the word. And even those who are neither leaders nor heroes must arm themselves with that steadfastness of heart which can brave even the crumbling of all hopes. This is necessary right now, or else men will not be able to attain even that which is possible today.
— Max Weber
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog…Pound Your Elf a Bovine =-.

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Absence Alternatives December 8, 2009 at 7:28 pm

Thank you for the quote. So well said. I will keep it close to my heart. *heart*

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mepsipax December 8, 2009 at 10:10 am

Damn, tell us how you really feel. And oh dear god I hate Palin so much. Why is she even relevant.
.-= mepsipax´s last blog…Taken Tuesday =-.

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Absence Alternatives December 8, 2009 at 7:30 pm

She is relevant exactly because she is willing to be irrelevant. One day, grasshopper, soon. Right now I am just doing the wax on, wax off…

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Robin December 8, 2009 at 12:16 pm

*pout* videos never want to play for me anymore…ever!
.-= Robin´s last blog…Under The Surface =-.

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Absence Alternatives December 8, 2009 at 7:31 pm

Consider yourself lucky, girlfriend. Would probably just make your blood boil. Remember what you wrote about car accident and rubber necking? Yeah. I should have remembered your wise advice and just clicked on STOP.

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Jen @ NathanRising December 8, 2009 at 2:44 pm

Oh I could totally go off on my own long tangent about healthcare and these stupid catfights between those who want reform and those who don’t. Let’s face it. Our healthcare system SUCKS and is in dire need of SOMETHING, anything to make it better! I personally think that commercial was L-A-M-E.
.-= Jen @ NathanRising´s last blog…Evolving Taste Buds =-.

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Absence Alternatives December 8, 2009 at 8:03 pm

I know I am preaching to the choir here. I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help it: I googled and visited some of the conservative sites AND read the comments there. *sigh* *ugh* *sobs*

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Andrea December 8, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Oh you slay me too! And Sarah Palin — what will become of us all if that ever happens? It will be the 3rd time I’ve threatened to move to Canada.
.-= Andrea´s last blog…"She" =-.

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Absence Alternatives December 8, 2009 at 8:04 pm

LOL. I did that twice. I wonder whether we did them in the same years? Mine were 2000 and 2004. LOL. ;-)

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A Vapid Blonde December 8, 2009 at 7:23 pm

I am still focused on you in a hotel room, drunk, looking for porn and eating xanax. YOU ARE A GODDESS!
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog…Killing the Bogeyman and Gold Plated Knees. These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things. =-.

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Absence Alternatives December 8, 2009 at 8:05 pm

I don’t have xanax. But I did take a heavy dose of Rachel Maddow though. Like twice last night.

(Oooo. That sounded dirty, didn’t it?)

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A Vapid Blonde December 8, 2009 at 8:07 pm

A tad! But in a good way.
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog…Killing the Bogeyman and Gold Plated Knees. These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things. =-.

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alejna December 8, 2009 at 9:47 pm

Oh, man, I don’t think I could stomach that commercial. I feel all queasy just from your description of it. Blech.

On the other hand, I find myself wondering what Boston suburb you are stuck in.
.-= alejna´s last blog…The November Just Posts =-.

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Absence Alternatives December 8, 2009 at 9:58 pm

Thou are wise. Just walk away. Don’t look. I am right now in Bedford. I hope you’ve heard of it. Quite a few people from my HQ went, HUH? You meant Medford right? Boondocks. But CABLE TV and they have MSNBC! Woohoo!

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Jennifer Lynn December 9, 2009 at 11:03 am

Eeeeh Gads. I always find it a little sad when THEY don’t have real data or valid points. So, THEY pull some bullshit emotional crap to try and get a response. Dillweeds.
.-= Jennifer Lynn´s last blog…………and she cried =-.

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Velva December 9, 2009 at 11:10 am

I would not even know where to begin to comment. Do I start with the hideous commercial?…One can only assume the commercial targets a very special audience or Good God, Sarah Palin….Make it stop! I will admit drinking in a hotel bar, getting drunk and then going into a political tailspin is quite humorous….But, you mixed all that in with serious events.
There is a good chance that healthcare reform will pass before the end of this year. With that said, there is a desperation within the insurance industries and groups that oppose health care reform, to pull-out all the stops. This commercial is a clear indication that we might get health care this year( Maybe, not exactly what we want but definitely a start).
.-= Velva´s last blog…Classic Martini =-.

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Falling December 10, 2009 at 10:12 pm

You know how Dan Savage is willing to be Sarah Palin’s gay friend (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leq3ydk5Ug4&feature=player_embedded)? I think you should volunteer to be her Asian friend. And put the interactions up on You Tube. Hee.
.-= Falling´s last blog…Pity, Party of One =-.

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Ambrosia December 11, 2009 at 1:20 am

I know I am really late in posting a comment, but I must share my thoughts.

I am so happy that Pres. Obama is tackling health care. The system is dreadfully in need of an over-haul. I think there are still issues that need ironed out before the go-ahead is given, but I am glad that at least the main problem is being addressed: how freaking hard it is for some Americans to get insurance. Pre-existing conditions anyone?

And this commercial? Hmmmm

Why the race card? WHY? Is it an inference to the President? Well…kind of silly to put in an anti-healthcare reform commercial but whatever. I think it will detract from the point, don’t you?

This post made me laugh and think. Thanks!
.-= Ambrosia´s last blog…Today I Feel ________ =-.

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Unknown Mami March 15, 2010 at 10:06 pm

Have I told you lately that I love you?

I guess I’m an racist Asian fetishist. What up G?!
.-= Unknown Mami´s last blog…I Comment Therefore I Am =-.

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subWOW March 16, 2010 at 4:06 am

And I you. I need to sing you that song right now! Actually I am humming it now. Can you hear it?

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