Comments on: Raising Boys

By: Absence Alternatives

Absence Alternatives — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 23:05:05 +0000

Thank you so much for commenting and for sharing your story here. I don’t know the answers, and I could identify with your anxiety as well. If I come across any helpful books or info, I will definitely pass it along to you. Good luck with everything! {{{Hugs}}}

By: Kathy

Kathy — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 18:16:40 +0000

I am the parent of a very unique and amazing 8 yo boy who has been bending the gender stereotype since birth. He is becoming very self aware at this age and noticing how different he is. He plays almost exclusively with girls, sings opera-like songs, still loves to dress up and play with dolls, identifies with Elphaba from Wicked, loves musicals and theater, loves to bake, ride his bike, swim, is bored by team sports, balls, star wars. I could go on and on. He is so wonderful, funny, sensitive, and creative. To add to his feeling different, he is adopted from Guatemala and his dad and I are both Anglo (he does have a little sister who is also adopted from Guatemala) I wouldn’t change one single thing about him and both his dad and I let him know it everyday. BUT I am terrified as he is going to be leaving his comfortable magnet elementary where differences are celebrated and he is accepted and encouraged in his uniqueness. We live in a medium sized town in the northwest US. It is mainly white and as homophobic as anywhere in this country. (Of course I have no idea what his sexual orientation will turn out to be but will support him in whatever lifestyle he finds himself belonging in. ) We can’t afford to send him to a private middle school. Anyone out there have advice regarding: reading material, personal experience, anything?? I loved this post and I completely identified with it.
I’m thinking of taking the family out of the country for a while but that is challenging too as my husband has health issues.
Kathy

By: submom

submom — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:41:22 +0000

Your two cents are worth tons of gold.
.-= submom´s last blog…Do you know what you are reading to your children? =-.

By: Jen @ NathanRising

Jen @ NathanRising — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:02:53 +0000

“Why doesn’t anybody wonder WHY it is perfectly okay for a man, any man, say, to wear pink, carry a purse, comb your hair in a European and Asian society? And yet it is a NO NO here in the US of A?”

Ugh, this is something that has always irked me. Boys and girls have these misguided preconceived notions on how they are “supposed” to behave and parents try to squish their kids into these predefined molds. Well, when a parent tries to force a child to be something they are NOT, then I assure you, there will be some SERIOIUS REBELLION in the teenage years.

And I also think that fear drives a lot of these gender roles, especially the fear of thier kid “turning gay.”

I think some people are simply idiots who lack foresight and common sense and they just cannot wrap their brains around the fact that no matter what mold you try to force your child into, they will be who they are meant to be, and trying to prevent that will cause complete chaos, bitterness, anger, and rebellion.

Just my two cents.

-Jen
.-= Jen @ NathanRising´s last blog…Mommy Brain =-.

By: Absence Alternatives

Absence Alternatives — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 23:51:35 +0000

I forgot to mention how much I love this line: “arming our boys with all the tools they will need to be the change we need”

So much packed in such a short sentence. That’s indeed all I can hope for, or rather, what we are striving to do here.

Thanks again for commenting. I really appreciate it.

By: Absence Alternatives

Absence Alternatives — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:39:35 +0000

Thanks. Yes, it is indeed very nice. That’s why I love the Interweb.

By: Absence Alternatives

Absence Alternatives — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:38:51 +0000

Thank you so much for visiting and commenting! Joan Baez is an awesome choice, may I say! Cheers to you too! Rock those bellbottoms!

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:58:41 +0000

this read has been appreciated here in the midwest…we are in the throes of raising three boys in a community that can have, at times, very archaic world views. we plod on, trying to do the best by our little men. our latest proud moment was just last night when our oldest (8 yr) picked his top choice for his “leader unit” a school…Joan Baez. she met all his criteria: artist and activist “mom, she marched with Dr.King!” was his ah-ha moment…i will be shopping for a wig and bellbottoms for the presentation!

cheers to arming our boys with all the tools they will need to be the change we need!

By: Diane

Diane — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 23:53:28 +0000

Great blog post; great comments thread. Nice to know that we’re not alone, eh?

By: Absence Alternatives

Absence Alternatives — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 23:34:15 +0000

Sigh… You guys are going to hear a lot of whining and freaking out then after this summer when my oldest enters Middle School then… *sigh*