Teaching Kids Simple Words: Bees

May 17, 2010

in no manual for parenting

Bee Teaching Kids Simple Words: Bees

So we have to worry about our kids learning about Bees now?!

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Here is a translation if you have trouble reading the handwriting…

The question was: If you were a bee, would you be a worker, a drone or a queen? Why?

My 7 year-old child’s answer: If I were a bee, I would be a worker because I get to collect pollen and nectar.

He could have stopped there. But of course, Noooooooooo.

He went on to explain: I do not want to be a drone because it is kind of disgusting in a way. You help her by helping her lay eggs. The end.

The kid’s right though. A drone’s life is something you do not want to wish upon your worst enemies. (Oh who am I kidding? I am the exact kind of person that WILL wish these things upon my worst enemies)

“Should a drone succeed in mating it will soon die because the penis and associated abdominal tissues are ripped from the drone’s body at sexual intercourse.” Wikipedia (where lazy people come to find answers)

So die a horrible death or lead a long, sexless life. Which one would you choose?

Related posts:

  1. Teaching Kids Simple Words: Egg
  2. Teaching Kids Simple Words: Part 1
  3. “How you should behave when you grow up”: a primer for your kids
  4. I think my kids are scarred by this Christmas song…
  5. “Is it difficult to take care of kids?”

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Maybe this will help me mourn | Occipital Hazard
May 19, 2010 at 12:51 am

{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }

secret agent woman May 17, 2010 at 4:30 pm

I can’t imagine wanting to be any sort of bee, and that choice – I just don’t think either is acceptable.
.-= secret agent woman´s last blog…My own life is a mystery to me. =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 17, 2010 at 9:41 pm

I am grateful for the teachers (schools, edu. orgs.) trying to make lessons lively and interesting for the kids. But this one reminds me of the questions asked of the MFA Acting candidates that I heard: If you were a color, what color would you be? And this one, to this day still haunts me: Walk like a lettuce.

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pattypunker May 17, 2010 at 6:19 pm

what this worker and penis falling off nonsense? i’d be queen bee. obvs.
.-= pattypunker´s last blog…i’d show you my asshole but it’s not pink enough =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 17, 2010 at 9:42 pm

I thought about being the Queen Bee, then I read somewhere that they are being licked all day by the nurse bees or something like that. Oh oh oh. Elly! You da Queen Bee?! LOL

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Elly Lou May 17, 2010 at 8:34 pm

Is Sting involved in this bee scenario?
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog…And The Winner Is… =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 17, 2010 at 9:43 pm

He’s only involved in the RED hives.

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dufmanno May 17, 2010 at 8:38 pm

I see this as a bigger issue.
The drones, the worker bees, the queens all representative of society and your very smart child SEES this and takes the time to note that no one wants to be a drone.
You need to give this kid George Orwells 1984 and watch him take over the world.
Well, either that or the whole idea of the genitals getting ripped off while being disembowled may have put him off.
But I choose to believe this child will change the world !
.-= dufmanno´s last blog…A Special Brand of Wonderful =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 17, 2010 at 9:44 pm

LOL. Thanks for the vote of confidence. I hope the change is in the right direction. I mean, left. No, I mean the Better direction. ;-) This time I refrained: I did not tell him what I learned from Wikipedia. For all we know, it could be inaccurate, right? I mean, it’s Wikipedia!

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Linda at Bar Mitzvahzilla May 17, 2010 at 11:39 pm

Pretty nice portrait of child as a bee there, too!
.-= Linda at Bar Mitzvahzilla´s last blog…Departure =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 7:06 am

You are right! Much better than my drawing, my current drawing even!

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Falling May 18, 2010 at 12:20 am

Walk like a lettuce? WTF?

Sorry, I know we’re talking about bees here, but that jumped out at me.

I’m with you that Elly is the Queen Bee.
.-= Falling´s last blog…The Bad Place =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 7:07 am

You should ask your actor friends for that. Would be true test of their acting prowess.

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Seer McRicketts-McGee May 18, 2010 at 2:11 am

My mother once said that bumble bees were the musk oxen of the insect world. I didn’t know she had that kind of creativity in her until that day.

That aside, I’m a worker bee myself–I haven’t gotten any in ages. So I guess I chose the sexless one. Damn.
.-= Seer McRicketts-McGee´s last blog…My heart is still breaking =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 7:10 am

No no no. Think like me: First, do the Nelson laugh “ha ha”, then say to myself: Suckers! Guess who’s going to have a long life while you suckers get disembowled?! (No spell check. This is a word right?)

Must Wikipedia “musk oxen”…

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Wicked Shawn May 18, 2010 at 2:12 am

Okay, I think Mr. Monk is fine, he’s totally got things under control.

I am a little concerned about you though. Being licked as the Queen made you decide NOT to be the Queen? Ummm, clearly we need to have a heart to heart, or your husband needs to watch some new videos……bwahahahaha!!!!
.-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog…The Art Of Porn =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 7:12 am

Hey, no leaving comment to advocate porn and then have a new post called “The Art of Porn”! LMAO! I may have to wait till tonight to read it? Is it NSFW?! Damn! Can’t wait!!!!!!

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Iain May 18, 2010 at 3:13 am

Well, I got engaged recently, so I’ll be looking forward to the long, sexless life option.
.-= Iain´s last blog…Robin Bastards =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 7:13 am

I was going to say ” The sexless part comes after honeymoon” but I think you got it. LOL

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Rachel May 18, 2010 at 3:57 am

I’m with Wicked Shawn above me … How could you NOT want to be a Queen Bee. I love licks! :)

But ultimately, I love how genius your kid is :)

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 7:15 am

I’m very sorry. But I suddenly have a vision of you, Shawn and Elly lining up being licked. Omg. Hilarious!

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Andrea May 18, 2010 at 4:42 am

Oh, man, hahaha! That Monk really knows what’s going on — what a great perspective! And I love your use of wikipedia, “where lazy people come to find answers.” :)

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 7:17 am

Ok. So who’s the teacher mongst us, huh?! ;-) My oldest’s teacher always adds this “Wikipedia cannot be used as a reference source”!

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Diane Laney Fitzpatrick May 18, 2010 at 4:47 am

“Die a horrible death or lead a long, sexless life?” Is this a trick question? What’s the catch?
.-= Diane Laney Fitzpatrick´s last blog…Happy Feet =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 7:18 am

LOL!

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TheKitchenWitch May 18, 2010 at 6:08 am

I love your kid. He’s very bright to add WHY being a drone would be suckage. And I had no trouble deciphering what he said at all. Well done, little man.
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog…Five for Ten: Lust =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 7:20 am

You are doing the Five for Ten too? I must catch up on your posts! Talking about Lust?! Will be right over!

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Mary Lee May 18, 2010 at 7:44 am

Face it. Mr. Monk is just not into eggs.
.-= Mary Lee´s last blog…You Want Prunes With That? =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 5:00 pm

LOL! That kid will be the death of me. I’m telling y’all now.

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Technobabe May 18, 2010 at 8:32 am

For a seven year old, it was an excellent answer. And great that a mind so young can decide what sounds good and what doesn’t.
.-= Technobabe´s last blog…Walking The Dog =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 5:02 pm

Thanks! I wonder whether the teacher even noticed the answer.

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Jennifer Lynn May 18, 2010 at 8:47 am

I don’t know….that’s a tuffy. Hmmmm. I REALLY like sex…..but I like my internal organs where they are, too. I think it’s a tie. Or No…I choose QUEEN!!!
.-= Jennifer Lynn´s last blog…PLEASE DON’T SCREW WITH THE MEN! =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Great. Now also added you being licked in my mental image…

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Robin May 18, 2010 at 9:16 am

What is this? School?
.-= Robin´s last blog…FYI =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 6:38 pm

It’s school homework. I do wonder whether other kids questioned the same thing.

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Naptimewriting May 18, 2010 at 10:29 am

bahahahaha haha ha haha.

I’m already living the long sexless life. And I want to be the penis ripper not the rippee. I reject the question and answer: I’ll eat the honey and tend the bees. Poor little things.
.-= Naptimewriting´s last blog…When are the robots coming? =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 6:39 pm

Rippee. *shudder*

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Jane May 18, 2010 at 11:40 am

Nap took my line! I was just about to comment that since I’m not dead you can guess which life I’m living! Glad your son is choosing a long life!
.-= Jane´s last blog…Yes! Yes! Yes! =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 6:41 pm

Hey, this gave me an excellent idea: let use life of a drone to scare boys from ever doing the deed! Bahahahah

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Ry Sal May 18, 2010 at 6:19 pm

because you know that the teacher purposely left out the whole sexless life dying alone bits… ON PURPOSE. I mean really. Teach it to the kid straight, right!!?! The End.
.-= Ry Sal´s last blog…But now what worries me is this… =-.

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Absence Alternatives May 18, 2010 at 6:48 pm

I am just grateful my kid didn’t go on wikipedia to read about bees on his own…

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Unknown Mami May 25, 2010 at 4:22 pm

Well, if I have a choice, I wouldn’t want to be at all.

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