Monthly Archives: June 2010

Nonchalant Parenting. It’s legit.

Many of the things that we do or don’t do can be legitimized if only we could find a proper name for it, in conjunction with a cool, catchy definition.

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Once you settle on a name, remember to capitalize it to make it into a Thing. Like so.

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To further reinforce the legitimacy of your parenting style, google and see whether you can find books written based on a similar premise. And of course there it is, out of the 16,562 books listed on Amazon.com under “Parenting (paperback)”.

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“The Idle Parent: Why Less Means More When Raising Kids” in the UK; curiously, "Why Laid-Back Parents Raise Happier and Healthier Kids" in the US with a less inspiring cover...

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Voilà! You’ve got yourself a legitimate school of thoughts to follow (or continue to do or not do what you have been doing or not doing)…

As this article in The New York Times says, “[Y]ou can turn guilt on its head and call it a parenting philosophy.”

“The one constant over the past century has been parents’ determination to find the right answers when it comes to raising their children. In this latest chapter, we have replaced the experts who told us what a good parent worries about with experts who tell us that a good parent doesn’t worry so much. We may even see parents stop aiming to prove how perfect they are and start trying to prove how nonchalant they are.”

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A week before Father’s Day, I asked Mr. Monk to sign the card for my father-in-law. (Let’s for now park the burning question of WHY as soon as you entered into a committed, heterosexual relationship, all remembering and gift giving for miscellaneous dates and holidays became the woman’s job… Yes, let’s shelf it for now until we have some free time…)

“You should put lipstick on and put kisses all over the card to go with the big hug.” I said, without thinking. I was being witty.

“Can I? Oh, can I?” There were stars in his eyes. This kid has been dying to try on my makeup if it were not for the death threat issued by his father.

“Sure. Why not!” I grabbed the camera, thinking, “Honey, this is what happens when you are not around to sign your own father’s Father’s Day card!”

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The Joker

Image 1 of 3

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Congratulations, Charlotte, on winning “America’s Manliest City” title

… despite having a girl’s name. It’s like a boy named Sue, isn’t it? You have been taunted and toughened and become the manliest of them all now that you are all grown up.

Mars Chocolate North America announced today the release of the second annual COMBOS ‘America’s Manliest Cities’ study – crowning Charlotte with this year’s top spot of manliness.

Mars, yes, the candy company, commissioned Bert Sperling, the people who brought us “Best Places to Live” studies (in case you have actually heard of these studies), to conduct the “America’s Manliest Cities” study for the second time. This is a marketing move, as far as I can tell, to promote Combos.  You can check them out at Combos.com: Home of the Comboviore. And yup, they are really going after a certain demographics, hard.

Charlotte, N.C. now has chief bragging rights on manliness thanks to its top 10 rankings in the sports, manly lifestyle, manly retail stores, manly occupations and salty snack sales categories.

Naturally “salty snack sales” is one of the metrics. I wonder whether instances of men dying of heart attack and high blood pressure is also taken into account for the study. Have no fear because we know men dying will be well taken care of in these cities since the quintessential Manly Occupations (fire fighters, police officers, construction workers and EMT personnel) were added to the mix this year.

I don’t know what Manly Lifestyle means, in all seriousness. Can someone explain to me? Because here is my thought process when I saw “Manly Lifestyle”:

Watching sports, drinking beers, hanging around bars, shouting, yelling, hooting.

Smoking. Driving. Smoking while driving. Smoking while driving while using the earth as his personal ashtray.

Having big loud supped-up cars that can supposedly go very fast. But ooops. You live in a crowded metro city so your speed is constantly lower than 50 MPH. Better move to Montana (which is not on the list).

Wouldn’t you think that men who work on farms and ranches with their bare hands, and bare chest *swoon* should arguably be the manliest?

Hmmm. Brokeback Mountain. Oh. Never mind.

Well, the study did not say you have to be straight to be manly. I am down with that.

Hmmm. Brokeback Mountain. So it is kind of stupid that Wyoming is not on the list.

Wyoming should definitely be on the list.

Maybe that’s why they did not dare do “The Manliest STATES” because that would totally not be targeting people who may buy Combos and be caught dead with a bag of Combos in their hands walking around when their neighbors are wrestling with steers and cattle and other miscellaneous large animals that men in these mountainous ranges wrestle with their bare hands.

Maybe that’s why the study was confined to Metro Cities. So metrosexuals are not good marketing target for Combos?

Mars feel that they need to step up to market to “manly men” because, eh, Combos look kind of suspicious? Cylinder shape with gooey filling inside?

Do straight men naturally suspect eating anything that’s cylinder shaped? But they sure like hot dogs.

Ok. Focus: Men in metro cities. Think. Harder.

Construction workers. Jack hammers. Wolf whistles.

Wife beaters.

Marlon Brando. A Streetcar Named Desire.

Stanley is without a doubt a "manly man". Hot. But. What an asshole.

“Stella!” For once I just want to do this in the middle of a crowd.

Wife beaters.

West Side Story. Jazz hands. Definitely manly. Yup.

Possibly the most macho Jazz Hands you’ll ever see

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And my mind went on and on. See? It is all very confusing.

So here are the rankings of the 50 cities included in the study:

  1. Charlotte, NC (▲ 1 spot)
  2. Columbus, OH (▲ 5 spots)
  3. Kansas City, MO (▲ 5 spots)
  4. Nashville, TN (▼ 3 spots)
  5. Baltimore, MD (▲ 32 spots)
  6. Milwaukee, WI (▲ 11 spots)
  7. Chicago, IL (▲ 39 spots)
  8. Indianapolis, IN (▲ 1 spot)
  9. Washington, D.C. (▲ 36 spots)
  10. Philadelphia, PA (▲ 20 spots)
  11. Denver, CO (▼ 6 spots)
  12. St. Louis, MO (▼ 6 spots)
  13. Columbia, SC (No Change)
  14. Harrisburg, PA (▲ 12 spots)
  15. Cleveland, OH (▲ 4 spots)
  16. Orlando, FL (▼ 2 spots)
  17. Salt Lake City, UT (▼ 1 spot)
  18. Birmingham, AL (▲ 5 spots)
  19. Detroit, MI (▲ 1 spot)
  20. Cincinnati, OH (▼ 16 spots)
  21. Richmond, VA (▼ 9 spots)
  22. New Orleans, LA (▲ 5 spots)
  23. Phoenix, AZ (▼ 1 spot)
  24. Houston, TX (▲ 15 spots)
  25. Oklahoma City, OK (▼ 22 spots)
  26. Toledo, OH (▼ 16 spots)
  27. Minneapolis, MN (▼9 spots)
  28. Memphis, TN (▼ 17 spots)
  29. Louisville, KY (▲ 2 spots)
  30. Seattle, WA (▲ 10 spots)
  31. Boston, MA (▲ 7 spots)
  32. Atlanta, GA (No Change)
  33. Providence, RI (No Change)
  34. Dayton, OH (▼ 19 spots)
  35. New York, NY (▲ 15 spots)
  36. Jacksonville, FL (▼ 15 spots)
  37. Pittsburgh, PA (▼ 8 spots)
  38. Grand Rapids, MI (▼ 14 spots)
  39. Dallas, TX (▼ 5 spots)
  40. Rochester, NY (▼ 4 spots)
  41. Las Vegas, NV (▼ 13 spots)
  42. San Diego, CA (▲ 1 spot)
  43. San Francisco, CA (▲ 5 spots)
  44. Tampa, FL (▼ 19 spots)
  45. Sacramento, CA (▼ 4 spots)
  46. Buffalo, NY (▼ 11 spots)
  47. Oakland, CA (▼ 3 spots)
  48. Los Angeles, CA  (▲ 1 spot)
  49. Miami, FL (▼ 7 spots)
  50. Portland, OR (▼ 3 spots)

I know there is a reason why I instinctively like Portland… Miami got beaten by San Francisco? I blame it on David Caruso.

Charlotte won the crown but Chicago is the biggest winner this year (and of course I am biased): Chicago had the biggest move in the rankings, going from 46th to 7th, reportedly due to the addition of the “Manly Occupations” category.

We clearly have the best Men in Blue (and Red and Yellow and White and Brown and Black and so on…)

The following is said without any trace of sarcasm. Seriously.

The Chicago Blues definitely deserve The Manliest Award this year because many of them are confident enough in their own skin and self-identity to host (and give permission for their fellow officers to host and attend – this is a giant step away from the stereotypically homophobic environment associated with police departments in general, and specifically the Chicago PD in the past) the 14th annual International LGBT Conference for Law Enforcement & Criminal Justice Professionals for the first time in Chicago, ending with the Chicago Pride Parade this past Sunday.

I salute you, officers! Rock those self-confident booties of yours!

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Sexiness comes from being comfortable in your own skin. Rock on!

Do Over: A perfect comeback is a terrible thing to waste

Maddow for Prez (and Stewart for Veep, of course)!

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This picture of wishful thinking is at the beginning of this post to make it known with no uncertainty how much I love and respect Rachel Maddow. I also would like it to be known that my adoration for her is NOT bandwagon-jumping: I have professed my loyalty to Dr. Maddow as early as December 2008 ever since I saw her appearance on Conan O’Brien (and for that there will always be a soft spot in my heart for Coco and his hair…)

To further set my girl crush all ablaze, Maddow gave a “fake” Presidential Address on her June 16 show following the much-anticipated, and laster much-criticized, Presidential Speech from The Oval Office by the Prez regarding the BP Oil Catastrophe. (Ok, seriously, peeps, we really need to stop using the term “Oil Spill”. Thanks.)

Maddow began her show thus:

You know how sometimes after you get into an argument or a confrontation with somebody, you can’t help afterwards thinking of all the things you wish you’d said.  You run it over and over in your mind, imaging the perfect comeback or the perfect way to have made your point.

Did I ever?! Yes, YES and YES!!!! She had me at this “OMG that’s exactly how I feel all the time” moment…

But, that’s not all!

She proceeded to give her own Presidential Speech, a speech that she wishes the real President Obama has given instead. Here are some of the highlights in text. Or you can read the complete transcript which MSNBC put up right away due to unusually high demand. Or feel free to watch the video clip instead (after the jump) which is extremely gratifying, to say the least.

I‘m here to announce three major developments in the response to the BP oil disaster that continues right now to ravage the beloved gulf coast of the United States of America…

Never again will any company, anyone be allowed to drill in a location where they are incapable of dealing with the potential consequences of that drilling.

When the benefits of drilling accrue to a private company, but the risks of that drilling accrue to we, the American people, whose waters and shoreline are savaged when things go wrong, I, as fake president, stand on the side of the American people and say to the industry, “From this day forward, if you cannot handle the risk, you no longer will take chances with our fate to reap your rewards.”

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The second major development I‘m announcing tonight, my fellow Americans, concerns another oil industry assurance we can no longer believe.  The industry has long assured us that they were capable of handling spilled oil…

The same low-tech ineffective equipment and techniques are being used to respond to this oil disaster today that were used in the 1960s and ‘70s to respond to spills back then.

That‘s because the industry has not invested in any new containment and cleanup technology in all of these decades, because they haven‘t cared too much about it as an issue and it shows.  It shows both in the inept technology that we have to deploy, to contain, to clean up a spill like this.

And it also shows in the lackadaisical, uncoordinated, unprofessional way this inept technology has been deployed by BP.  Beaches have been fouled.  Wetlands have been destroyed.  Wildlife has been killed that should have been saved.  Pensacola Bay in Florida, if properly boomed, should never have been breached by oil.  Perdido Pass of Orange Beach, Alabama should never have been breached by oil. Queen Bess Island, the pelican nesting ground and Barataria Bay in Louisiana – Barataria Bay itself – none of these areas should have been breached by oil even given the sad state of existing technology to stop it.  But the fact that those areas were breached is BP‘s human error.

And tonight, as fake president, I‘m announcing a new federal command specifically for containment and cleanup of oil that has already entered the Gulf of Mexico with priority of protecting shoreline that can still be saved, shoreline that is vulnerable to all that has not yet been hit.

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And finally, the third development I have to announce to you tonight in the response to this oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico is about how we got here and how that will change.

I no longer say that we must get off oil like every president before has said, too.  I no longer say we must get off oil.  We will get of oil and here is how.  The United States Senate will pass an energy bill this year.  The Senate version of the year will not expand offshore drilling.

Every president in the modern era has complained that America must get off oil.  Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H.W.  Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and now, I, fake President Obama – we have all intoned solemnly that we must get off oil.

Now that we have, at the hands of the oil industry, experienced the worst environmental disaster in American history, the time for talk is over. The world is different now.  Our country is different now.  The scales have fallen from our eyes.

People say we‘re not ready.  They‘re right.  We‘re not ready.  We also weren‘t ready to fight in World War II before Pearl Harbor happened.  But events forced that upon us and events have forced this fight upon us now…

If there are elements of a bill that cannot procedurally be passed by reconciliation, if those elements can be instituted by executive order, I will institute them by executive order.

The political cowardice that has kept politicians from doing right by this country, finally, on energy – finally, standing up to the oil industry – that cowardice has been drowned in oil on Queen Bess Island.

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Although I am not so naive as to believe that any president will ever be able to pass an Energy Bill and have it executed just so that will have any real impact on the environment in my lifetime, like I said, it is gratifying to imagine what it would have been like to hear these same statements from the real Commander in Chief (assuming he has not lost his mind and decided to wage a war directly against the 50% of the country that considers Fox News a reliable news source). Naturally, depressing at the same time to imagine what could have been…

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Here’s to you, Dr. Maddow. Thank you for the Perfect Comeback.

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She proves that a brilliant mind makes you instantly hot. Period.

WTF Wednesday: A Minor Setback

What am I?

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Can you guess what this is?

A view of ancient Aztec tombs from the satellite?

An aerial view of Scientologist Compounds?

Newly discovered evidence of alien civilization in Cambodia?

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This is a computer keyboard after I took the caps off.

But why? You ask.

Can you see a hint of pink in the picture? That’s not because of lighting or exposure, THAT, my friend, is the remnant of strawberry smoothie that my 7 year-old spilled all over my laptop.

You know why? Hubris.

He has been using regular glasses (instead of plastic cups with lids that we kept from numerous family-friendly chain restaurants) without incidents. What can go wrong this time?

Oh my goodness, I thought to myself when ThinkPad made a big to-do about their new and improved spill-proof keyboard, what kind of slob will be making big enough a mess to warrant a spill-proof keyboard? Sheesh!

He is watching cartoons on YouTube now, I am just going to do something for myself and go work out. He’ll be ok for 30 minutes without having to yell for me.

Life is indeed better now that the kids are old enough to take care of themselves and I can start enjoying my evenings.

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Guess what's going to be my evening and weekend project for a while?

The Highlight Reel

Who’d have thought that a post titled “Warning: Do Not Read This If You Are My Husband” would pique my husband’s interest? The man normally does not read my blog posts. He is content to read the ones I forward to his email inbox. But I forgot that he does read my tweets, esp. when he is trapped on the runway after landing. So out of the blue I received this IM from him:

Cocoon? WTF? LOL!”

BUSTED! Ugh.

This weekend as we sat through the previews before the movie started, he commented as if he were merely continuing a discussion that happened just minutes ago, “I cannot believe you did not include Daniel Day-Lewis!  Wasn’t he in The Unbearable Lightness of Being?” which was based on my favorite book by Milan Kundera.

“Well, I did not want to have sex with Tomas because he is an unfaithful womanizer!” So it is true: I ended up choosing the “five fictional characters that I would gladly hump” based on the potential of their leading a Happily Ever After with me. So predictable. So stereotypically… eh… woman.

“Well. I still think you should have included Daniel Day-Lewis on your list.”

“I will find you!” I blurted out the greatest line from The Last of the Mohicans as I remembered how hawt Hawkeye is. Hawt and loyal. Which just make him so much hotter.

We looked at each other and made an ill attempt to recite, “I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you,” the line that brings me to tears every time I think of it. I swooned from the vision of Hawkeye behind that waterfall.

“See? I told you. You should have included him on your list.”

“FINE! If you are so good at it, why don’t you go make your own list?”

Next thing I knew, he had a pad of paper on his lap and a pencil poised in mid-air, looking rather pensive. He put down Number 1 without any hesitation and then jumped to Number 3. This man KNEW who Number 3 on his list should be. Seriously?! As he was stuck on Number 2, the movie we were watching was wasted on him.

Served me right for forgetting that I was dealing with a compulsive list maker. There are pieces of paper with miscellaneous lists scribbled on them hidden all over the house. Too bad he is not a compulsive task finisher. Just sayin’…

Here is the list (the original email text even!) as painstakingly put together by my husband, with my approval. The man has great taste after all… *cough cough* though I was a bit sad that Jessica Rabbit did not make the list.

1. Catherine-Zeta Jones in Entrapment (if you have seen the movie, you know the scene)
2. Gymnast in Blue Thunder
3. Jessica Alba in Dark Angel
4. Michelle Pfieffer as Catwoman, or LadyHawke.
5. Devil’s Advocate — the one Al Pacino wants Keanu to lay at the end… (Christabella, played by Connie Nielson)

Groups
1. The girls of Austin Powers (all three at once) (Elizabeth Hurley, Heather Graham, Beyonce)
2. The Fly girls from In Living Color

If you are scratching your head wondering about the “Gymnast”, no worries. The man was thoughtful enough to include a link to a self-explanatory photo:

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Kind of NSFW…

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Nothing is really showing…

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May also make you feel very bad about yourself…

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Or make you hot and bothered…

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You have been forewarned…

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"This is what you do when you have a super duper high-tech helicopter: You hover outside of buildings where there are naked women doing aerobics."

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Dear @Wired. Meet Georgia O’Keeffe.

In addition to Threadless Tees, I also try to seem young and hip and on top of things by subscribing to Wired Magazine. Although I have been caught in this conundrum of inadvertently outing myself as an old fart by actually subscribing to the print edition. Seriously, who subscribes to print editions of magazines any more? And since I am in the confessional mode, I may as well tell you that I still buy music CDs. Yup. I am single-handedly supporting the dinosaurs.

That being said, until the day I can sit in the open (in my own house, mind you) reading without being bothered, I will always prefer papers to hard metal/plastic. They are just a lot easier to read in a locked bathroom, with the fan on to drone out the incessant, “Mom. Mom. Mommy. Mommy. Mom. Mama.”

As always, I was happy to receive my latest Wired. I skipped the important article on Sergey Brin’s search for a cure for Parkinson’s Disease and tore immediately into the shopping feature (Shut up!). I saw this and my inner 16-year-old boy made me choke on my cocktail:

ETA: Of course the Product of the Month is a super duper $2,000 sub-woofer for your home theatre, Beolab 11 by the revered Bang & Olufsen.

You said it. Not me.

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Ok. Not to be sexist or anything, I am going to guess that the department that worked on testing, rating and writing about the 39 summer gears is mostly male. So nobody snickered or doing a Beavis & Butthead’s “Hehehe.” Is it just me? Really? I am very impressed.

Let me break it down for you…

You know Georgia O'Keeffe?

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Georgia O'keeffe. The artist famous for you know who-who...

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Come on! I cannot be the only one...

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In order to drive my point home, I have taken the liberty to dress the “Tulip” up…

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Ta da!

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Oh please please please don’t let me be the only one…

CODA on 7/7: I am happy to report that after almost 1 month, I am finally “vindicated”… This picture is now on Wired.com and the comments proved that well, it does not take any imagination to see this fancy sub-woofer as a, eh, modern piece of art…

Be cool like me. Wear Threadless.

Today, I am sharing with you the secret to my coolness.

You know those older people who love to wear edgy t-shirts to prove to themselves that they are still hip, young at heart, and they can still get jiggy with it? (Irony intended)

Me! Me! Me!

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I have amassed a small collection of Threadless t-shirts for the above purpose. And today, my dear Soren Lorensen, I think, you are ready to be indoctrinated into The Cult of Threadless Ts.

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PeliCAN!

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Threadless will donate all proceeds from the sale of the peliCAN tee to the Gulf Restoration Network: United for a Healthy Gulf:

“A 15 year old environmental non-profit organization committed to uniting and empowering people to protect and restore the natural resources of the Gulf Region for future generations. They’re the only environmental organization working Gulf-wide, and since the first days of BP’s oil drilling disaster, they’ve provided independent monitoring and advocacy focused on holding BP accountable and ensuring an effective and transparent response to the crisis.”

Why not simply donate the $10 towards the Gulf Restoration Network, or any other charity organization making an impact in the gulf region? I asked myself this too. First of all, Threadless is donating ALL SALES PROCEEDS, not just net revenue, i.e. profit. And, please suppress your inner cynic for a moment, I know how hard it is since I am the biggest gullible cynic I know, by more people wearing the t-shirts, more people outside of the Gulf Region who otherwise would have stopped thinking about this quickly (“Out of sight, out of mind”) will not be able to forget or ignore as easily this disaster that is still going on, and will go on for many many years to come.

Besides, it IS a very nice looking shirt!

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I am also thinking that in order to encourage more people to order the peliCAN tees, we should have a contest of some sort. Wet t-shirts contest?? That may be too self-serving since I cannot wait to see all you sexy people sending me photos of you wearing this tee, drenching wet. *Fans self*

Rainbow

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After I dropped off my 7 year-old at his Taekwondo class, I had less than an hour to drive, grocery shop, drive, unload groceries, stuff 99% of the groceries into the freezer portion of our refrigerator, and then drive back to pick him up. As I pulled up to the stop sign inside our neighborhood, I caught my breath when out of the window I saw the rainbow.

Seeing a rainbow always makes me want to cry and at the same time, jump up and down.

I thought about getting out of the car to take a picture of it, but I didn’t want to be THAT MOM again. I drove faster than I should have. I wanted Mr. Monk to be able to see the rainbow.

He did.

It felt wonderful to bring him the rainbow.

I Comment Therefore I Am – Trolling

When I was in college, Deconstruction and Postmodernism were in vogue, later when I was in graduate school, Cultural Relativism was all the rage, and I thrived in the academic environment that prized my way of examining and understanding life and people from all perspectives.

In real life, this makes me a person with no strong conviction, I suspect. My penchant of looking at people and life in general from both/all sides made me a great research scholar or maybe even a good instructor but would not have done any good if I wanted to change the world. For starters, I am agnostic because I have not the guts to decide on one thing or the other. (At least that is MY reason for claiming I am agnostic). I often corner myself onto a slippery slope by empathizing to a fault.

These past few days I believe I came to some certain degree of appreciation for things that I have sorely despised:

Teabagging Parties and Internet Trolling.

Tea Party Protest Sign. Well, sort of. The gist of it.

I went to a live taping for Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me and it was a blissful relief to be surrounded by people who shared my worldview, and I assume, my socio-economical and educational backgrounds. No apology was needed (except I did apologize profusely when I asked to take pictures of Peter Sagal and Carl Kasell. What can I say? They just seem too sublime to be asked to partake in such vulgar activities such as FANGIRL WORSHIP…) No explanation was demanded. I agreed wholeheartedly with everything that was said.

I can see why the teabaggers are drawn to these crazy tea parties! I thought. (Seriously. THIS can be very annoying sometimes…)

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On the same day I went to the Wait Wait taping, I also discovered the titillating excitement of being an Internet Troll.

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Ain't that the truth?!

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I became obsessed with this post “How to Be a Good Wife” on Scary Mommy as soon as I saw the words: “Completing Him” challenge: Be the woman your man needs.

Long story short: Jill, Scary Mommy, found a post on a blog (which turns out to be a Christian, sort of “Come to Jesus” “Let’s know HIM and serve HIM well” kind of blog) that encouraged the readers to participate in an 8-week challenge that will help the women learn/make an effort to love their husbands. Some choice examples:

Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask him to prioritize them for you of what is important to him. For example – a clean home, home cooked dinner, coupon clipping, service at church, having friends over for dinner, watching/doing sports with him, etc.

No complaining, criticizing, rolling your eyes, nagging, or giving him any friction this week. Enjoy a week of peace in your home!

Support his vision. Discuss his vision for your family. Where does he see your family in 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years. Share with us how you let your husband lead.

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The most telling part about what this blog that Jill stumbled upon is all about? On that blog, another blog is featured called Raising Homemakers*. “Dedicated to inspiring, teaching and blessing mothers who have an interest in raising their daughter in godliness and preparing them in the arts of homemaking to the glory of God.” I kid you not.

* Sorry peeps. I am not linking to any of these conservative websites for many reasons. For one, trackback is a bitch. And really, why ruin your day or even week by checking it out, getting nauseous just thinking about it?

Anyway, Jill used these “challenge tasks” to come up with sarcastic/ironic remarks about how she planned to serve her husband and become a good wife for him.  Of course, the way her audience is (me being one of them), comments from Jill’s regular readers started pouring in.

Comments really were the best part there. Most of them were hilariously sardonic, and we were having a lot of fun, “building camaraderie” as I saw it, based on the same conviction which could be summed up by this comment left by Jen:

I let me husband have sex with me and he likes it. That is submission enough.

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I was, however, disturbed and upset at first.

Do these women have girls? Why do they even bother encouraging their girls to study or do anything else if they expect grown women to do nothing else but allow their husbands to ‘lead’ them? In that case, wouldn’t the men prefer the ignorant kind? No talking up nor speaking up? Wouldn’t that just make this whole scheme a lot easier to maintain? Look at what’s going on in the fundamentalist Muslim societies. If girls are not allowed to go to school, yes, men there can continue to lead as long as they’d like.

I am getting riled up without even watching the video. I am sorry. I tried to be sarcastic and funny and yet I failed miserably.

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Then Nic @ My Bottle’s Up alerted me to the aforementioned “I cannot bring myself to say it again” website…

OMFG! Should I click on it? My hand is shaking. Actually my whole body is shaking. Maybe it’s created by The Onion?! Please? Just lie to me…

Actually, I take it back. I visited the site briefly. And as a mother of two boys, I am going to be selfish and highly endorse such a scheme of producing wonderful homemakers who will take care of my boys much better than I have been and ever will. I never have to worry about my sons getting beaten up like Elin beat up Tiger Woods. And I can really learn to be proud of my boys when they show their women what their places are in the world. I wonder whether they also teach about ‘submission to parents-in-law since you know they gave birth to the man who is leading you so they are like on an even higher level’ because the last thing I need after raising these brats are daughters-in-law that talk back and don’t appreciate my gorgeous wonderful sons. Awesome!

And… I was back! To my sarcastic self again, baby!

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Then “the other camp” found out the fun we were having over on Scary Mommy, very quickly, chaos and hilarity ensued. And that, my friend, was when I became so obsessed with trolling for things I disagreed with and made myself a nuisance in general. To this comment:

Serving Him and my husband is what I was put on this earth to do. I know where I’m going when my time on earth is complete. Can any of you say the same?

(The same woman also made the claim that her husband has never strayed because she’s never given him an excuse to… Oh yeah. It was very hard for me to sit on my hands and say NOTHING to that. I am very proud of my restraint)

I replied:

You are right. I cannot say the same thing because I believe in reincarnation and I have no idea yet what I will be coming back as. If I continue to do good the way I have, I sure hope I get to come back as a husband with a submissive wife who gives me no excuse to stray (wink wink). I seriously am looking forward to living the high life. So excited!!!

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I also spotted a familiar face: The lovely Vapid Blonde was there at the party!

I am running right out and getting a pair of stripper shoes in which I will feed my husband bacon while he watches the Bruins win every cup and the Red Sox win every world series all day everyday….because THAT might be his perfect day with his perfect wife.

So I backed my girl up by praising her actions:

Right. Vapid. Work it, girl! Make sure you don’t give your husband an excuse to stray otherwise if he cheats on you, you will only have yourself to blame.

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I was high. It was like drug. I kept on going back for more, checking for new development, cough cough, new opportunities for my comedic genius. Now, I am still not sure how the Gulf Oil Spill became involved in this heated debate, but the same genius asked,

Perhaps the oil spill exists for a reason. A punishment for greed? Ever thought about that?

It’s almost like she was a shill I put in the audience, she just handed it to me!

It’s the pelicans’ fault. Ever see how they gobble up all the fish in one big mouthful? Yup. Not just greed, gluttony too.

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Eventually it dawned on me: This is silly. I wish conservatives and liberals would just stay out of each other’s blogs when politics, religions and gender roles are discussed. I am sorry. There is no way I am going to see things from the other side when these matters are involved. Try and explain to me why a woman needs to wear a chador and I will show you my bound feet. Cultural relativism my ass. Here was my final missive:

Blogs are not meant to be neutral or objective. Facebook pages are not meant to be neutral or objective. We have to agree to disagree sometimes. Jill did NOT leave a comment over on that website (at least the last time I checked). The fact is somebody went over to the other post and alerted people there that that post is being talked about here. (Wow, that sounded like I was describing high school, didn’t it?) The fact is you decided to come over and take a look and be offended.

It is really tempting for me personally to leave comments all over the Internet on conservative websites mocking them, criticizing them, but I refrain myself every time, because it would be like if I insist on watching Glenn Beck to get myself all riled up spitting blood. Better just walk away. I have read one blog post referring to mine in a negative light with insulting comments (yeah, I am not bragging ok? “Just ONE?” I know I am but a krill in this big pond and oh yeah Trackback is a bitch), I wanted to say something, to defend myself, to prove them wrong, but I walked away.

You can’t argue someone into changing their minds, esp. in the matters of faith/religion, and esp. when all this is based on ‘believing in Jesus/God’ as that very nice lady said in her latest post welcoming new readers. Did you really think you would be able to change minds, to convert people into ‘True Christianity’ that you subscribe to, by coming over here and yelling at people?

p.s. Actually I kind of wish it could work this way: imagine the lives that could have been saved from the Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition. Let’s just try to talk the other side into changing their minds!

p.s.s. You were so right when you said, ‘Heaven forbid that we might be right.’ That is why I am agnostic. I’ve got it all covered. Booyah!

p.m.s. Jill I am so sorry for coming back over & over again. I just discovered that being a troll is fun, no wonder people do it all the time!

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Unknown Mami inspired me to turn my comments into a post because comments sometimes really are the best part! Besides, I am lazy. So why not recycle words that you have written?!

Unknown Mami

Sundays In My City

(Actually these pictures were taken this past Friday…)

This post should be titled:

I went to the Chicago Hawk’s Parade and all I got was this set of lousy pictures showing the bottom of the Stanley Cup!

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Ta da - Stanley Cup

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Stanley Cup! I saw it, kind of

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Chicago crowd

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Real fans. Not like those bandwagon jumpers

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Ticker-tape Parade

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Whenever I manage to get my acts together or am not too embarrassed to backdate my post or decide to overlook my poor photographic skills, I participate in Unknown Mami’s

Unknown Mami

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It is obvious I have been having too much fun with this Welcome-to-the-21st-century COOL photo editing website picnik.com. Because they have been acquired by google, I know they will not be doing evil with my photos…