Actually this year, the first day of school IS special:
My oldest will be going to junior high. THIS, is the first day of the rest of his life without his mama hovering over him…
Or at least that’s how it feels to ME. I am pretty sure from his perspective I am a pesky fly that won’t go away.
I could tell he was nervous because he woke up at 6:30 this morning without an alarm or me threatening to pour cold water on him. Well, that and the fact he said, “I am nervous.”
“I am nervous too, honey.” I said. “Ooops. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you that, huh? Probably didn’t help…”
Tentatively I suggested that I drive him to the bus stop because of “the huge heavy bag of school supplies” (and not because I wanted to be there on his first day as a 7th grader). He startled me with a brilliant smile, “AWESOME!”
.
.
You can never be sure when they want to be treated like an adult, and when, a child.
Trial and error.
Today, when I thought that he would want to look cool and not be seen with his mom, he asked, “Are you going to bring your camera?”
“I wanted to but I was not going to because I assume you will be mortified?”
“Nah. I don’t care… Where is [younger brother]? Is he still asleep? I want him to say goodbye to me at the bus stop…”
Today is full of surprises. The two of them sometimes behave as if they were mortal enemies.
“Well, go wake him up then. Tell him that you are going to a different school from now on. That the two of you will never be in the same school again.”
When my oldest came downstairs again, I asked him whether his brother was going to the bus stop with us.
“Nah. He’s still asleep.”
“Oh. He didn’t want to wake up? What did you say to him?”
“Nah. I just said ‘I am going to junior high today’ and then I kissed him on his cheek.”
Today is indeed full of surprises.
.
It is still possible that when he comes home from his first day in junior high this afternoon, I am blamed for ruining his life.
For taking pictures of him at the bus stop even though I tried to do it surreptitiously by hiding behind the neighbor’s big SUV.
For standing too close next to the neighbor who was chanting, “Junior High! Junior High!”
For laughing too loudly when she called out, “You guys are moving up in the world! Look, your bus has tinted windows!”
.
.
For raising my hand and waving as the bus drove away. It’s a force of habit. I will try and remember to stop doing it.
.
.
Two little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell down…
Now that his older brother is going to junior high, the quieter, less outgoing Mr. Monk will be for the first time by himself in the school. No more living under the shadows of his older brother. He will be known by his name, not a little brother, and definitely not “So and so’s brother”.
He looks all of a sudden so grown-up. His own person.
.
.
This is so silly on my part since this is not the first “First Day of School” I have gone through. Yet I know many mothers are the same: We cannot help the tears coming out even as we laugh at ourselves.
When they turn around to wave goodbye as they step onto the bus…
.
.
When you look at their anxious faces through the window…
.
.
Something tugs at your heart.
.
Related posts:
{ 1 trackback }
{ 53 comments… read them below or add one }
Totally with you. Cried non – stop for every stage of schooling my children went through, because I know that is one step farther away from me. Waaahhhhhh.
Sorry. Hugs.
You know what? it’s the turn-and-wave move that kills me every time. I’ve only done a few of these “first days of school” so far, but that’s the part that gets me.
Oh, and kindergarten graduation. That was a serious blubberfest.
gigi´s last [type]…Hurry-Up Hungry Man Hot Dog Hash
Yes yes yes Turn and Wave move.
Oh. You are going to have the big K graduation next year, aren’t you? Bring boxes of Kleenex and a plastic bag for the used ones…
Oh, those lanky legs. Delicious.
TheKitchenWitch´s last [type]…What We’re Made Of
He’s wearing size 16 now. When did that happen?!
What a lovely tribute to your sons’ first day in school. These back-to-school posts these couple of weeks are killing me. I know I have a few years to go but with the stupid “time flies” crap, I also know I will be where you are in the blink of an eye and I don’t think I will be able to hold it together as well as you. Or at all. Firsts and lasts…they always turn me into a sentimental fool. Maybe it’s an unshakable mommy trait.
Your boys are beautiful by the way.
Justine´s last [type]…I didn’t teach her this
Thanks. This post was written just a day after I was so mad at him that I considered banning him from Facebook for the rest of the school year. They keep me guessing, these kids.
i am crying. i think my period is coming, but still. tears. i still have two years before my oldest goes to the big K, but every time i think about it my eyes well up and i’m a mess.
i have two younger brothers who were in school together a lot. the youngest got a lot of ‘you’re so and so’s little brother, right?’ apparently it was the most annoying thing ever.
Tiffany´s last [type]…Food in the boudoir It’s not what you think it is
PMS plus First Day of School thoughts? You had no chance against the tears.
God, I’m standing here weeping and my kids still have another week until they start. By the way, it sounds like your neighbor who keeps yelling random things and chanting is actually me. I do that shit ALL the time, much to the moritification of my children and their friends.
dufmanno´s last [type]…Cockroach
I was surprised by her since she is usually prim and proper. I think she was in shock by her son going to 7th grade (the way I was). She was trying not to cry by coming up with jokes.
Both of my boys are now in high school. They haven’t been in the same school for three years. Things are currently going smoothly… but it’s bound to change. It’s interesting to watch that brotherly dynamic evovle. So far I haven’t been blamed for ruining either of their lives. Am I doing something wrong?
I read your post on the first day of school over at your house. *sobs* They grow up so fast! <— cliche? Yes. Fact? Definitely!
Awww, darn you — now I’m teary.
That is very sweet. Someone wise told me being a mother is all about letting go — from the very first moment they are born and no longer in you, then when they are toddling and no longer in your arms, and then when they make friends or start school and are no longer so dependent on you . . . and now junior high for one of yours!
You should probably get a puppy to take your mind off of it. Or just visit the vodka puppy you already have.
I like my vodka puppy. I don’t have to wake up at 6 am every morning because the puppy has to pee! *In your face!*
Oh, and my daughter is starting KINDERGARTEN! Help us all!
She is going to be the best, most loved, most awesome Kindergärtner!
you’re killing me here! i don’t know why anyone searches for “the meaning of life.” i look no further than my daughter. she is all the meaning, joy, heart and soul i’ll ever need. and i just sent her off to college so you can imagine the waterworks. don’t ever ever wish the time away. and don’t sweat the small stuff. choose your battles (the ones that relate to their well-being and safety and are not about control). and laugh away the chaos, mess, and time crunch. they’re all angels.
ps: mad photo skillz, girlfriend.
pattypunker´s last [type]…happiness in a box
{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}
She even looks like an angel: she got your good genes.
p.s. picnik.com Really. It makes every photo I took so much better. And it is free!
Such a sweet and tender post! (Am I in the right place?
All kidding aside….you are one awesome Mama, raising a boy like that! Wait – raising *tw0* boys like that!
Jane´s last [type]…Elevatin’ To Another Level – Not Higher- Just Different
You should have been in my house the day before: I was so mad I had to sit on my hands so I wouldn’t strangle him!
Oh gosh… wasn’t expecting you to squeeze my heart (and tear ducts) like this. Beautiful.
Love the pictures. Jr. High son looks so cute and so tall! And Mr. Monk heading off by himself! Heart squeeze.
I hope it’s a wonderful year! Update regularly!
Mary Lee´s last [type]…An Apple a Day Saves the Tomatoes
I think this is nature’s way to keep us surprised all the time by our offspring so we don’t end up strangling them before they leave the house.
{{{hugs}}}
I only had the one but I can still see him standing at the entry to the school his first day of kindergarten. I still get misty.
linlah´s last [type]…it’s a simple question- really
Yup. Those snapshots inside my head make me sentimental and teary too.
Wishing them both a wonderful year.
Thanks for making me cry like a baby.
Life with Kaishon´s last [type]…Worst joke ever!
Thank you!
LOL. Sorry. *hangs head*
Damnit! Now you’re in on the propaganda. That was lovely, just lovely.
Elly Lou´s last [type]…Squatter
LOL.
Morgan Freeman is in on it too. He said, JUST DO IT!
Or is that Barry White?
Oh my goodness. This made my heart hurt. Jr. High. I will die when my son gets there.
I still have a few years thank God.
Thank you for visiting and commenting!
You will be strong! You will cry and then when the bus leaves you will go get a cocktail!
Wow. Just wow.
Kate´s last [type]…day three randomness
*blushing*
Sounds like you have some great kids. You got your pictures and the Jr High kid cooperated.
Technobabe´s last [type]…Hey- Buddy- Got The Time
Thank you. They can be nice sometimes.
I have a feeling I, too, will be waving as the bus drives away. Waving and crying and blubbering like an idiot about my baby leaving me and going to school. Then I will go home and stuff myself with comfort food, gain about 10 pounds, and scour the all-knowing Internet for ways to cope with my baby’s growing independance.
That’s so sweet that your son wanted you around for his big day… and I love that he wanted you to take pictures! You have such adorable children
Jen @ NathanRising´s last [type]…The ultimate retribution… eating your enemies
This is one of the posts that if anybody finds out about my blog, I need to move it to “private”. I can imagine him being totally mortified by my public showing of affection (and his affection for his old ma)…
SO glad to see things went this way!! This was a perfect morning. They are so *whispers so they can’t hear* beautiful. This was The Narcissist’s last First Day and The Drama Queen’s First Day in high school. They made it clear they have outgrown me. I do still see them a lot, though, only because I cook and my credit cards are surgically attached to my hands.
Wicked Shawn´s last [type]…You’re Freak-tastic!
Thank you thank you thank you so much for talking me out of eating my own young the day before! He probably still felt remorseful that morning and therefore decided to atone his sins by being nice to his mother. Children, can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
xxoo
So absolutely LOVE it! this just made my day here… The kids are so incredibly cute, but most of all, you just capture that instant beautifully…
Ahhh.. nice!
Vanilla North´s last [type]…don’t push it green 25
Thanks. You are making me blush now…
i’m choked with tears…
your boys are wonderful
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting! And sorry for making you cry. Please be reassured that this is a rare occurrence when I put up a tear-jerker like this.
sniff sniff. That was as sweet post. I love when I see those tender moments between my two boys – although they are far and few between. We start on Monday and I can’t wait…..in fact I may just kiss the bus driver.
“Far and few between” INDEED! That’s why I feel the need to document these rare moments. Sometimes I wonder whether I am conducting false advertising. But then I complain about my kids enough I hope people will not be duped by this post!
Good luck on Monday!!!
OMG. I’m bawling my eyes out. My 4-year-old will be starting junior kindergaten in a couple of weeks leaving my almost 3-year_old alone with me for the first time. I’m anxious for both of them and myself.
Love your photgraphs and this post.
Thank you for visiting and commenting. You are all going to be fine. Really. {{{hugs}}} It actually will be nice for your 3yo to have some alone time with you. To feel like center of the world.
Cynthia, your pictures. They are gorgeous! The Bokeh shot is awesome!
Okay, cried at him going up to tell his brother he was on his own.
And then cried through the rest.
Hugs, subWOW.
Naptimewriting´s last [type]…Unthinkable
{{{hugs}}} Full disclosure: They never stop bickering, or crying “It’s not fair!”, or So-and-so did this and that. Never. Probably never will.
Your pictures are lovely. And your sons’ actions are a testament to what a great Momma you are and how they still need you. Sweet. I am a SAHM and I never got why people didn’t understand when I was sad when my kids go back to school. I don’t know – because I LIKE my kids? Okay, okay – I know everyone likes their kids, but I get some serious comments about how they can’t wait until their kids go back – and I think “Really?” I always want to ask “Then why didn’t you make a two month long summer camp part of your contingency plan?”
Our three oldest are out of the house now and the fourth just went to college [technically out of the house, but still have some fraying apron strings attached] and with just the youngest at home it is awfully quiet. I am trying to convince her that home schooling when college comes is a GRAND idea. I’ll get her that B.A. in Liberal Arts yet.
Sorry for such a long comment [I'm new] but I really like your blog. Thanks.
Thank you for visiting and commenting! And thank you for the kind words. Don’t worry about leaving long comments here. I am a “comment hog” myself. And sometimes I think comments are the best part! Case in example: Comments over at The Bloggess? Hilarious.