“7 magical conversational phrases”
I came across this article the other day on Match.com. (Eh. Don’t ask WHY I was on Match.com… That hot sexy blonde whose picture is winking at ya? Yup. That’s my profile: I used a picture I took of A Vapid Blonde… Now you know. People LIE about these things…)
It immediately caught my attention. I sure could use some help in social situations, and these are promised to be “magical”!
Smart phrase #1: “Tell me more about it”
Smart phrase #2: “What are the reasons for your opinion?”
Smart phrase #3: “I never thought of it that way”
Smart phrase #4: “That must have upset you”
Smart phrase #5: “How did it go?”
Smart phrase #6: “You are a really generous person”
Smart phrase #7: “I really admire that” or “That takes courage. I admire that.”
.
As I read through the article, without much snickering, I became worried about the possibility that when the needs arise, I may not remember these 7 magical spells under duress. I remembered the days when I was trying to educate my kids the art of correctly using the alphabet: Yes. Flash cards work wonders, and visualization is the key to the mythical depth of human memory vault.
Here are the 7 visualizations to help me, and now you too, memorize these 7 magical conversational phrases and be the life of the party next time you are caught in one of those social occasions.
You are welcome.
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Magical Phrase #1: Tell me more about it!
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Magical Phrase #2: What are the reasons for your opinion?
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Magical Phrase #3: I never thought of it that way
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Magical Phrase #4: That must have upset you!
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Magical Phrase #5: How did it go?
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Magical Phrase #6: You are a really generous person
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Magical Phrase #7: I really admire that. I do!
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{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
Why thank you. This should come in handy.
You are welcome. Now go be a social butterfly!
Jesus is very generous. And that crazy man isn’t crazy–he’s just courageous!
I don’t know about these phrases. They all sound really…uh…syrupy sweet? Yuck.
Jana @ Attitude Adjustment´s last [type]…Jana and the Giant Cable Company
They do. They all make me want to reply, “O rly. You don’t say.” Or “You think so?” to “You must have been very upset.”
That last picture! My eyes! My eyes! They’re bleeding! You are so funny.
TheKitchenWitch´s last [type]…Intentional Happiness- NYC Edition
I TRIED to cover him up with the words! I hope you haven’t had anything t eat yet… LOL
I was recently in bed with someone, and the topic of my boobs came up (primarily because I had just taken off my shirt, and it’s hard to not talk about them under those circumstances) and I said something about them getting in the way, and occasionally wishing I could just unscrew them and take them off for awhile. And he said, in this perfectly deadpan kind of way, “Yes, I do not think I have ever been in the presence of any _quite_ so large before.” I think I might have stopped laughing about ten minutes later. But now I really wish I had responded with something like “That takes courage; I really admire that!”
What I’m mostly curious about, though, is this — are all Match.com users complete morons? Because those “helpful” hints…really? They seem useful only for the kinds of people who have maybe never actually interacted with another human being, ever.
(I just know you’re going to send me a follow-up email asking, so — 38F/G, depending on the bra. So, not like, circus-freakish. But still.)
Miss B´s last [type]…The Way Things Taste
There are all sorts of instructions out there. I found a very sincere article on “How to be generous”. For adults, mind you, NOT to teach kids how to share. But for grown-ups.
I wish your books could be taken off also because then I could borrow them. I am pretty sure I have the hip necessary to balance them.
(Ducking since I am seeing a shoe coming at me!)
Oh, well, my _books_ can be taken off. Which ones did you want to borrow? (Though how you’re planning to balance them on your hips is a mystery to me. I probably need to read a Match.com How-to guide to fill me in on that maneuver…)
Miss B´s last [type]…The Way Things Taste
Touche.
Either I was subconsciously confused because you mentioned “shelf” or I was distracted by um the very interesting discussion…
I’m with Kitchen Witch on that last picture. Thank goodness for the big “DO”! Whew! That could have stunted my growth.
Hmmm. Go back and erase it.
Funny, funny!
Mary Lee´s last [type]…Weighing In
Should I blow up the picture, make it into a poster and send it to you? LOL. It may scare the squirrels away!
Those phrases sound more like something a disinterested and bored psychologist would say… while absently chewing on the end of his pen and surrepetitously tapping his wing-tipped shoes on a worn carpeted floor. I wouldn’t say those phrases to anyone I was interested in having a deep, real conversation with!
Jen @ NathanRising´s last [type]…Nathan and Pez candy dispensers have more in common than you’d think
OMG you are so good with that description of the scene in a shrink’s office, I could see it!
Interesting world we live in, isn’t it, that a fairly young couple would go the store to shop and the man is dressed half assed (get it?). Thank God I am not in charge of that store and I wouldn’t be caught in the aisle next to the cheeky (get it?) guy. I probably would not be able to keep a straight face. Nuh uh.
Technobabe´s last [type]…New Pottery
What? I don’t get what you are trying to say… LOL. The comments on the website posit that the man may have lost a bet or something. Better that, right?
I was thinking that the man might be wearing his wife’s clothing. She may be in the store with him to protect him from assault, verbal and physical, by the other customers. But, hey, it Wal Mart, so he should be right at home. Ha. Oh what am I saying, I shop at Wal Mart.
Technobabe´s last [type]…New Pottery
I do too. But I never had the courage to take pics of crazy-looking ppl! “That takes courage!”.
match.com? “that must have upset you.” i’m a veritable fucking social butterfly, aren’t i?
pattypunker´s last [type]…happiness in a box
LOL. To me you are a butterfly and unicorn rolled into one.
OHEMGEE!!! Are you kidding me?? If I was trying to have a conversation with someone and they started dropping those lines, I honestly think I would have to call them on it. What the hell is match.com trying to do to people? Pattypunker and I clearly need to write a book on socializing.
Wicked Shawn´s last [type]…You’re Freak-tastic!
We should do a candid camera show and just carry a conversation with these 7 phrases!
You left out my favorite!
“How does that make you feel”? We had an HR person at work that uttered this line from the simplest of questions to truly mind-blowing situations. People want to hit him every time he said it, it was scary. Just as all those lines are. I’d run like the wind of someone said any of those phrases to me!
Meg at the Members Lounge´s last [type]…I Can’t Help Myself Friday The Balls Edition
WOW! THAT is probably the best one! Imagine saying that to someone who just shared some details of tragedies with you… Ugh
You are a very very funny girl and I just put you on my blog roll along with some mayo, lettuce and a pickle.
Oh thank you! I love being part of a sandwich! Am I the bacon? Please let me be the bacon!
Wait, those are the same phrases my shrink has been using for ten years over and over again.
Now I wonder if she’s even licensed.
Anyway, whenever anyone shows me a picture of Jesus watching me I immediately feel guilty even if I haven’t done anything.
dufmanno´s last [type]…Cockroach
Maybe your shrink wrote this!?! And are you Catholic? I mean with the guilt… LOL
I must admit, jesus made me laugh.
linlah´s last [type]…it’s a simple question- really
I am going to guess that Jesus would not mind.
You are a really generous person.
Unknown Mami´s last [type]…Sundays In My City
Why, thank you…
“That must have upset you” I’m not sure why, and the last one, because… OBVIOUSLY.
So pretty =)
Robin´s last [type]…Why You Must Watch Breaking Bad
Unfortunately, I don’t think I will remember these “magical” phrases only the impressions the visualizations left me…
So what happens when I’m just left staring because of that?
…still a social disgrace huh?
Keia´s last [type]…Hello- is anybody home
Jesus may be generous, but you still aren’t getting any of THAT diet coke, bitch! Even Jesus has his limits.
And so do I. Number 7 has scarred me for life. Thanks a lot.
Amy Phillips´s last [type]…Daily Rant
Add this to the list: You could be right.
That one works, I kid you not. Might be more useful for older folks who blog and don’t use comment screening, who have SILs and DILs, and who are unaccountably magnets for every dipstick out there who likes to start conversations in the grocery line. It has gotten me out of gallons of hot water over the years. In fact, it is the only phrase I’ve ever bothered to memorize. When accompanied by full eye-roll, it conveys so much. When delivered straight up, not even a tea bagger could argue with it.
Nance´s last [type]…Paranoia In The PU
OMG! I’m dying over here. You are so creative, funny and I envy your computer/picture/caption/etc. skills!
Jane´s last [type]…Bad News Is Free Good News Comes At A Price
You are HI.LA.RIOUS. OK, this totally made up for the Palin video. I can once again enjoy my breakfast. You are forgiven
Justine´s last [type]…Thank you for keeping my secret
Whew. *wiping away sweat beading up*