First Day of School – The Obligatory Post

Actually this year, the first day of school IS special:

My oldest will be going to junior high. THIS, is the first day of the rest of his life without his mama hovering over him…

Or at least that’s how it feels to ME. I am pretty sure from his perspective I am a pesky fly that won’t go away.

I could tell he was nervous because he woke up at 6:30 this morning without an alarm or me threatening to pour cold water on him. Well, that and the fact he said, “I am nervous.”

“I am nervous too, honey.” I said. “Ooops. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you that, huh? Probably didn’t help…”

Tentatively I suggested that I drive him to the bus stop because of “the huge heavy bag of school supplies” (and not because I wanted to be there on his first day as a 7th grader). He startled me with a brilliant smile, “AWESOME!”

.

.

You can never be sure when they want to be treated like an adult, and when, a child.

Trial and error.

Today, when I thought that he would want to look cool and not be seen with his mom, he asked, “Are you going to bring your camera?”

“I wanted to but I was not going to because I assume you will be mortified?”

“Nah. I don’t care…  Where is [younger brother]? Is he still asleep? I want him to say goodbye to me at the bus stop…”

Today is full of surprises. The two of them sometimes behave as if they were mortal enemies.

“Well, go wake him up then. Tell him that you are going to a different school from now on. That the two of you will never be in the same school again.”

When my oldest came downstairs again, I asked him whether his brother was going to the bus stop with us.

“Nah. He’s still asleep.”

“Oh. He didn’t want to wake up? What did you say to him?”

“Nah. I just said ‘I am going to junior high today’ and then I kissed him on his cheek.”

Today is indeed full of surprises.

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It is still possible that when he comes home from his first day in junior high this afternoon, I am blamed for ruining his life.

For taking pictures of him at the bus stop even though I tried to do it surreptitiously by hiding behind the neighbor’s big SUV.

For standing too close next to the neighbor who was chanting, “Junior High! Junior High!”

For laughing too loudly when she called out, “You guys are moving up in the world! Look, your bus has tinted windows!”

.

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For raising my hand and waving as the bus drove away. It’s a force of habit. I will try and remember to stop doing it.

.

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Two little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell down…

Now that his older brother is going to junior high, the quieter, less outgoing Mr. Monk will be for the first time by himself in the school. No more living under the shadows of his older brother. He will be known by his name, not a little brother, and definitely not “So and so’s brother”.

He looks all of a sudden so grown-up. His own person.

.

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This is so silly on my part since this is not the first “First Day of School” I have gone through. Yet I know many mothers are the same: We cannot help the tears coming out even as we laugh at ourselves.

When they turn around to wave goodbye as they step onto the bus…

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When you look at their anxious faces through the window…

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Something tugs at your heart.

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53 thoughts on “First Day of School – The Obligatory Post

  1. Skippymom

    Your pictures are lovely. And your sons’ actions are a testament to what a great Momma you are and how they still need you. Sweet. I am a SAHM and I never got why people didn’t understand when I was sad when my kids go back to school. I don’t know – because I LIKE my kids? Okay, okay – I know everyone likes their kids, but I get some serious comments about how they can’t wait until their kids go back – and I think “Really?” I always want to ask “Then why didn’t you make a two month long summer camp part of your contingency plan?”

    Our three oldest are out of the house now and the fourth just went to college [technically out of the house, but still have some fraying apron strings attached] and with just the youngest at home it is awfully quiet. I am trying to convince her that home schooling when college comes is a GRAND idea. I’ll get her that B.A. in Liberal Arts yet.

    Sorry for such a long comment [I’m new] but I really like your blog. Thanks.

    Reply
    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Thank you for visiting and commenting! And thank you for the kind words. Don’t worry about leaving long comments here. I am a “comment hog” myself. And sometimes I think comments are the best part! Case in example: Comments over at The Bloggess? Hilarious.

      Reply
  2. cynthia

    OMG. I’m bawling my eyes out. My 4-year-old will be starting junior kindergaten in a couple of weeks leaving my almost 3-year_old alone with me for the first time. I’m anxious for both of them and myself.

    Love your photgraphs and this post.

    Reply
    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Thank you for visiting and commenting. You are all going to be fine. Really. {{{hugs}}} It actually will be nice for your 3yo to have some alone time with you. To feel like center of the world. 🙂

      Reply
  3. Catherine

    sniff sniff. That was as sweet post. I love when I see those tender moments between my two boys – although they are far and few between. We start on Monday and I can’t wait…..in fact I may just kiss the bus driver.

    Reply
    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      “Far and few between” INDEED! That’s why I feel the need to document these rare moments. Sometimes I wonder whether I am conducting false advertising. But then I complain about my kids enough I hope people will not be duped by this post!

      Good luck on Monday!!!

      Reply
  4. Wicked Shawn

    SO glad to see things went this way!! This was a perfect morning. They are so *whispers so they can’t hear* beautiful. This was The Narcissist’s last First Day and The Drama Queen’s First Day in high school. They made it clear they have outgrown me. I do still see them a lot, though, only because I cook and my credit cards are surgically attached to my hands. 🙂
    Wicked Shawn recently posted…You’re Freak-tastic!My Profile

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Thank you thank you thank you so much for talking me out of eating my own young the day before! He probably still felt remorseful that morning and therefore decided to atone his sins by being nice to his mother. Children, can’t live with them, can’t live without them. 🙂

      xxoo

      Reply
  5. Jen @ NathanRising

    I have a feeling I, too, will be waving as the bus drives away. Waving and crying and blubbering like an idiot about my baby leaving me and going to school. Then I will go home and stuff myself with comfort food, gain about 10 pounds, and scour the all-knowing Internet for ways to cope with my baby’s growing independance.

    That’s so sweet that your son wanted you around for his big day… and I love that he wanted you to take pictures! You have such adorable children 🙂
    Jen @ NathanRising recently posted…The ultimate retribution… eating your enemiesMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      This is one of the posts that if anybody finds out about my blog, I need to move it to “private”. I can imagine him being totally mortified by my public showing of affection (and his affection for his old ma)…

      Reply
  6. Mary Lee

    Oh gosh… wasn’t expecting you to squeeze my heart (and tear ducts) like this. Beautiful.

    Love the pictures. Jr. High son looks so cute and so tall! And Mr. Monk heading off by himself! Heart squeeze.

    I hope it’s a wonderful year! Update regularly!
    Mary Lee recently posted…An Apple a Day Saves the TomatoesMy Profile

    Reply
  7. pattypunker

    you’re killing me here! i don’t know why anyone searches for “the meaning of life.” i look no further than my daughter. she is all the meaning, joy, heart and soul i’ll ever need. and i just sent her off to college so you can imagine the waterworks. don’t ever ever wish the time away. and don’t sweat the small stuff. choose your battles (the ones that relate to their well-being and safety and are not about control). and laugh away the chaos, mess, and time crunch. they’re all angels.

    ps: mad photo skillz, girlfriend.
    pattypunker recently posted…happiness in a boxMy Profile

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  8. Andrea

    Awww, darn you — now I’m teary. 🙂 That is very sweet. Someone wise told me being a mother is all about letting go — from the very first moment they are born and no longer in you, then when they are toddling and no longer in your arms, and then when they make friends or start school and are no longer so dependent on you . . . and now junior high for one of yours!

    You should probably get a puppy to take your mind off of it. Or just visit the vodka puppy you already have. 😉

    Reply
  9. Erica@PinesLakeRedhead

    Both of my boys are now in high school. They haven’t been in the same school for three years. Things are currently going smoothly… but it’s bound to change. It’s interesting to watch that brotherly dynamic evovle. So far I haven’t been blamed for ruining either of their lives. Am I doing something wrong?

    Reply
  10. dufmanno

    God, I’m standing here weeping and my kids still have another week until they start. By the way, it sounds like your neighbor who keeps yelling random things and chanting is actually me. I do that shit ALL the time, much to the moritification of my children and their friends.
    dufmanno recently posted…CockroachMy Profile

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  11. Tiffany

    i am crying. i think my period is coming, but still. tears. i still have two years before my oldest goes to the big K, but every time i think about it my eyes well up and i’m a mess.

    i have two younger brothers who were in school together a lot. the youngest got a lot of ‘you’re so and so’s little brother, right?’ apparently it was the most annoying thing ever.
    Tiffany recently posted…Food in the boudoir It’s not what you think it isMy Profile

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  12. Justine

    What a lovely tribute to your sons’ first day in school. These back-to-school posts these couple of weeks are killing me. I know I have a few years to go but with the stupid “time flies” crap, I also know I will be where you are in the blink of an eye and I don’t think I will be able to hold it together as well as you. Or at all. Firsts and lasts…they always turn me into a sentimental fool. Maybe it’s an unshakable mommy trait.

    Your boys are beautiful by the way.
    Justine recently posted…I didn’t teach her thisMy Profile

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  13. gigi

    You know what? it’s the turn-and-wave move that kills me every time. I’ve only done a few of these “first days of school” so far, but that’s the part that gets me.

    Oh, and kindergarten graduation. That was a serious blubberfest.
    gigi recently posted…Hurry-Up Hungry Man Hot Dog HashMy Profile

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  14. virginia

    Totally with you. Cried non – stop for every stage of schooling my children went through, because I know that is one step farther away from me. Waaahhhhhh.

    Reply

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