My boys are becoming more and more uncouth each day, and I am not doing anything about it because deep down I think I am a 13-year-old boy.
I am going to blame it on Austin Powers though. Lately they have been watching Austin Powers. All three of them. Yeah. I know.
Mr. Monk loved all the bathroom humors and antics and in fact, was so excited that he could not sit still, jumping up and down through the movie. I could hear his excited, high-pitched laugh all the way downstairs through the closed door to the master bedroom where the TV is.
Nowadays the easiest way to start a fit of giggling around our house is to show them something round, and in pairs.
The boys saw the failed muffins
and decided that the muffins looked like boobs.
Mr. Monk: Oh mom! They look like, you know, boobs!
12-year-old: (To his brother, with his mouth stuffed with one of the burned and misformed muffin tops) Hmm. If you don’t want to eat your boobs, I will have your boobs.
Me: (Trying not to laugh) Do not make fun of boobs.
Mr. Monk: Yeah. We would have died without boobs. You know mommy would not have been able to feed us… and we would have starved.
Me: Staying out of this topic because I did not want to explain to him, again, that I only breastfed for less than two weeks
12-year-old: Or we would not even have been born if daddy were not attracted by mom’s boobs…
Fortunately, at this moment, the conversation was derailed by my asking Mr. Monk what he was doing [No. Don’t ask] and we moved onto a discussion of penis vs. balls vs. ball sack vs. scrotum.
Boobs and balls. Boobs or balls? Boobs or balls?! Cake or death?! (Sorry. Got carried away a bit over there…)
Hey, at least we are using the correct anatomical terms.
Heh…you said boobs…
Hey at least you got to enjoy that conversation with them. I think that’s awesome. And HELLO puberty!
Justine recently posted…Thumbs up to the writer of Why Chinese Mothers are Superior
Oh, I love all of this honesty and innocence! Your kids are too funny. And if those are what boobs look like these days, well, I wouldn’t know. Mine are more like pancakes as opposed to muffins.
The Sweetest recently posted…Light and Easy Crab
I am HOPING they have NO idea what REAL boobs look like. OH MY GOD!
p.s. 😉
I hear you so loud and clear. My almost 5 year old son runs around the house holding his penis, shouting, “Who wants me to pee on them?” It’s absolutely terrifying.
OMG. LOL. Did he just read the story about the peepee kid who saved the city from being engulfed in flames?
p.s. Oh good gravy. Somehow I got my stories confused: I at first thought the peepee kid was in the same story as that other kid who saved the dam by plugging the hole… Eh. Never mind…
At least they don’t have weird ideas about what sex is from watching an episode of Torchwood with their Dad one night.
“the lady sits on the table and pushes the guy back and forth while they yell. THEN she turns into an alien and eats him!”
That was the description of it that I received. To this day he still won’t belive that it’s any different.
Also my boys call their nuts “nards”. Notice I’ve not managed to correct any of these mistakes.
dufmanno recently posted…The Doubtful Analyst
NARDS sound so much more indestructible!
Sadly the exact same conversations happen in my kitchen on a daily basis. And I don’t have kids.
Elly Lou recently posted…A Bushel and a Uke
I always know you and Rocco live an enchanted life!
Too damn funny! I have no children but my nephews are as uncouth as they come these day–I love your choice of words here– “something round, and in pairs.”
Wishing you a great weekend from Haiti,
Kathy
Kathryn McCullough recently posted…Blogging Buddies mean Blogging Bliss
Thank you so much! Waving frantically from Chicago burbs!
Damn. I am actually a 12 year old boy. I was afraid of that.
Renee Fisher recently posted…There she is- Miss America…
Welcome to Neverland. 😉
“If you don’t want to eat your boobs, I will have your boobs.” I am SO USING THIS later. Pure brilliance.
Should I start the music? Is it going to be bowchicabowwow?
“The family that engages in sexual innuendo together, stays together.” Isn’t that what they say? LOL.
Hugs,
Wendy
writerwoman61 recently posted…Astrological Shock…There’s No Way I’m a Gemini!
YES! The family that laughs at Austin Powers stays together. So many inside jokes. Now if I say, “Do you have a flag?” My boys fall down laughing.
Being natural and open and adding humor with your children is so healthy in my opinion. I was pretty much like this with my children too. The muffins do look like boobs.
TechnoBabe recently posted…The Little Old Lady I Am Destined To Become
I think so too that’s why I couldn’t in all honesty bring myself to discipline them.
Ah yes, we have had a few of these conversations in our house. Good times.
Jack recently posted…Friday Morning Music- What We Read-Listened To
IF I didn’t have to feel guilty, I would have rather enjoyed these episodes… 🙂
Oh my goodness. You are the funniest! I bet your house is always filled with laughter. How could it not be with all that boob talk : )
Life with Kaishon recently posted…‘Reason is powerless in the expression of Love’ Rumi
Frustration. And then guilt. What would my feminist teachers say??!!
Btw, this quote from your latest post? ‘I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.’ ~Mahatma Gandhi
Thank you. xxoo