Dear Internet,
I miss you.
Yes, in these past two weeks, you still see me coming around once in a while, reading articles online, sharing random pictures on Facebook and Twitter, and flirting with my lady friends with my witty one-liner tweets. It has been still only Drive-by Interneting, which in my book does not count as taking care of my second life, my Social Media life.
I have been a bad blogger friend. I am very sorry.
I had to get on the plane for a business trip the day after I got my root canal, which I later realized was only Part 1. The 3-day trip turned into a 4 day trip when I was assigned to a new project. I got home on Friday night, unpacked and then immediately packed for our trip to the Wisconsin Dells. In case you don’t know, Wisconsin Dells is where Kitsch is defined.
“Kitsch is the inability to admit that shit exists.” Milan Kundera
A visit to one of the giant indoor waterpark complexes, actually Ginormous would be the right word used to describe these monsters, is a definite renouncement of hipsterdom, of coolness. Something that declares, “Resistance is futile. The middle America will get you.” A surrender to suburban, bourgeois, parenthood.
There ain’t no shame in that. I guess…
“No matter how much we scorn it, kitsch is an integral part of the human condition.” Again, Milan Kundera
Onward, suburban soldiers!
I enjoyed an hour under Novocaine and laughing gas this Monday to finish my root canal, and as a consequence, for the next couple of days I was keenly aware of the existence of my tooth that’s supposed to be now nerveless (Is that NOT the point of root canal?) while I did the road warrior thing again. On Wednesday night, my flight home was delayed and I have not slept in my own bed for a full night for almost two weeks by now. But of course. I found mouse poo in our pantry. All over. Even on the top shelf. WTF? Flying mice? I spent two hours cleaning and throwing half of the stuff in the pantry away. I set up a trap and yes, I have blood on my hand. Figuratively. The Horror. The Horror. Still, I took a picture, but of course. Maybe soon I will write a post about how I felt like the Mafia this morning and a serial killer by night fall. For now though, before I go upstairs to be with my bed for (oh shit now only) 5 hours, could I just share a pet peeve of mine with you?
This has been bugging me forever... Is it just me?
As for the two horses’ asses in the title… I should not have fact checked. Because I did, I now cannot in good conscience post this interesting FACT about railroad gauges, wagons, wheel ruts, Roman Chariots, horses’ asses, and then back to train tracks and space shuttles. SNOPES.com ruins all the spamming fun… FACTS are sometimes quite inconvenient indeed. Sheesh. I am going to bed.
Affectionately yours, Signed The Third Horse’s Ass
As a server in a restaurant, people used to ask me for moist toilettes to clean their hands before they ate. Eew! I wanted to say : “HELLOOO?! There is a bathroom RIGHT THERE!!!” What is wrong with people? Moist toilettes are for car glove compartments. and possibly barbecues.
Plus, just to carry it a step further, antibacterial soap and sanitizer is why every kid in america has asthma (okay that’s a vast generalization but you get my point).
I completely agree with you. 100%. When Oprah had an episode (a long while ago) where she was talking to all these “experts” about germs everywhere and how we should all use antibacterial this, anti-bacterial that, I about DIED: I’d rather die NOW than be terrified by some mutant super bug in the near future. ZOMBIES!
Thank you for visiting and commenting!
Goodness, you’ve been CRAZY busy. Hope you catch a break soon. And um…replacing soap for hand sanitizer is just plain gross!
The return!
I’m a little thick so I ran over to a post from yesterday thinking it was your 1st since the trip and realized you’d written 3 since then.
Score one for the unobservent.
Hope your life gets settled down soon, Lin, and that you don’t have to visit any more ginormous water parks in the near future! We’ll still be here when you get back!
Hugs,
Wendy
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But I see a soap dispenser there. Was it not working? Hand sanitizers do promote the growth of superhuman bacteria whose only job is to kill us all off and then breed with cockroaches, ants and rats to make One Extra-Superhuman Sepcies that will populate the world forever. I think.
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I’m convinced all the hand sanitizers and anti-bacterial products (along with overuse of antibiotics) are breeding super bugs that will one day kill us all. So, soap and water for me.
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TechnoBabe’s idea is brilliant! Maybe you should set a mousecam up in your pantry, too? Bastards.
Methinks the people who chose to ignore the soap and water hand wash job will also ignore the hand sanitizer. Making it easier to clean their hands is not the solution. Maybe there needs to be a huge camera facing the sink area and when people walk out of the restroom they would see a giant screen showing the live view of people at the sink.
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You were away so long that this one made me dizzy, jumping around in your world. Good grief! Did your horoscope give you any warning?
Nice to have you back. Really, really nice. You ARE back, aren’t you?
I’m still mulling over which was worse–the mouse or the root canal pain. Both must go! Congratulations on taking mafia action on the mouse. Warn your dentist that she could be next if she doesn’t get that tooth right.
Missed you.
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Didn’t like my last link, huh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLdBOTuX1GI
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Hand Sanitizer: because soap and water is just too damn time intensive.
Have you seen this commercial for the revolutionary way to save yourself from all the work of making a cup of coffee?
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So good to have you back in a post! And I must shamefully admit . . . we are also heading to a giant indoor waterpark for part of our spring break. Bring on the fun and flab! As for the tooth, ooooh, girl . . . mouth pain is the WORST. 🙁 So sorry! Did you at least get to eat a lot of pudding?
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Hand sanitizer in the bathroom in ADDITION to soap is fine, in REPLACEMENT of soap pisses me off. Really? Really??!! Some of us like to wash our damn hands!
Mice make me maniacal. As in, “Time to sell the house!” insane. I feel no compulsion at all to battle the little bastards, I surrender, they can have it, I will go quietly into the night. Fortunately, I have never seen even one indication of a mouse in this house.
The horse’s asses thing…..ummmm, I’m totally confused, but I love Roman chariots and hope to someday travel exclusively by one. Picture it. Yeah, that’s right. It’s perfect!
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