Maddow for Prez (and Stewart for Veep, of course)!
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This picture of wishful thinking is at the beginning of this post to make it known with no uncertainty how much I love and respect Rachel Maddow. I also would like it to be known that my adoration for her is NOT bandwagon-jumping: I have professed my loyalty to Dr. Maddow as early as December 2008 ever since I saw her appearance on Conan O’Brien (and for that there will always be a soft spot in my heart for Coco and his hair…)
To further set my girl crush all ablaze, Maddow gave a “fake” Presidential Address on her June 16 show following the much-anticipated, and laster much-criticized, Presidential Speech from The Oval Office by the Prez regarding the BP Oil Catastrophe. (Ok, seriously, peeps, we really need to stop using the term “Oil Spill”. Thanks.)
Maddow began her show thus:
You know how sometimes after you get into an argument or a confrontation with somebody, you can’t help afterwards thinking of all the things you wish you’d said. You run it over and over in your mind, imaging the perfect comeback or the perfect way to have made your point.
Did I ever?! Yes, YES and YES!!!! She had me at this “OMG that’s exactly how I feel all the time” moment…
But, that’s not all!
She proceeded to give her own Presidential Speech, a speech that she wishes the real President Obama has given instead. Here are some of the highlights in text. Or you can read the complete transcript which MSNBC put up right away due to unusually high demand. Or feel free to watch the video clip instead (after the jump) which is extremely gratifying, to say the least.
I‘m here to announce three major developments in the response to the BP oil disaster that continues right now to ravage the beloved gulf coast of the United States of America…
Never again will any company, anyone be allowed to drill in a location where they are incapable of dealing with the potential consequences of that drilling.
When the benefits of drilling accrue to a private company, but the risks of that drilling accrue to we, the American people, whose waters and shoreline are savaged when things go wrong, I, as fake president, stand on the side of the American people and say to the industry, “From this day forward, if you cannot handle the risk, you no longer will take chances with our fate to reap your rewards.”
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The second major development I‘m announcing tonight, my fellow Americans, concerns another oil industry assurance we can no longer believe. The industry has long assured us that they were capable of handling spilled oil…
The same low-tech ineffective equipment and techniques are being used to respond to this oil disaster today that were used in the 1960s and ‘70s to respond to spills back then.
That‘s because the industry has not invested in any new containment and cleanup technology in all of these decades, because they haven‘t cared too much about it as an issue and it shows. It shows both in the inept technology that we have to deploy, to contain, to clean up a spill like this.
And it also shows in the lackadaisical, uncoordinated, unprofessional way this inept technology has been deployed by BP. Beaches have been fouled. Wetlands have been destroyed. Wildlife has been killed that should have been saved. Pensacola Bay in Florida, if properly boomed, should never have been breached by oil. Perdido Pass of Orange Beach, Alabama should never have been breached by oil. Queen Bess Island, the pelican nesting ground and Barataria Bay in Louisiana – Barataria Bay itself – none of these areas should have been breached by oil even given the sad state of existing technology to stop it. But the fact that those areas were breached is BP‘s human error.
And tonight, as fake president, I‘m announcing a new federal command specifically for containment and cleanup of oil that has already entered the Gulf of Mexico with priority of protecting shoreline that can still be saved, shoreline that is vulnerable to all that has not yet been hit.
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And finally, the third development I have to announce to you tonight in the response to this oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico is about how we got here and how that will change.
I no longer say that we must get off oil like every president before has said, too. I no longer say we must get off oil. We will get of oil and here is how. The United States Senate will pass an energy bill this year. The Senate version of the year will not expand offshore drilling.
Every president in the modern era has complained that America must get off oil. Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and now, I, fake President Obama – we have all intoned solemnly that we must get off oil.
Now that we have, at the hands of the oil industry, experienced the worst environmental disaster in American history, the time for talk is over. The world is different now. Our country is different now. The scales have fallen from our eyes.
People say we‘re not ready. They‘re right. We‘re not ready. We also weren‘t ready to fight in World War II before Pearl Harbor happened. But events forced that upon us and events have forced this fight upon us now…
If there are elements of a bill that cannot procedurally be passed by reconciliation, if those elements can be instituted by executive order, I will institute them by executive order.
The political cowardice that has kept politicians from doing right by this country, finally, on energy – finally, standing up to the oil industry – that cowardice has been drowned in oil on Queen Bess Island.
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Although I am not so naive as to believe that any president will ever be able to pass an Energy Bill and have it executed just so that will have any real impact on the environment in my lifetime, like I said, it is gratifying to imagine what it would have been like to hear these same statements from the real Commander in Chief (assuming he has not lost his mind and decided to wage a war directly against the 50% of the country that considers Fox News a reliable news source). Naturally, depressing at the same time to imagine what could have been…
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Here’s to you, Dr. Maddow. Thank you for the Perfect Comeback.
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She proves that a brilliant mind makes you instantly hot. Period.
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I Comment Therefore I Am: Vaginas, Mama Grizzlies and War on Stupidity
August 24, 2010
in imho is just a polite way to say I know you don't give a hoot what I think but I'm going to say it anyway,this i believe
Hello? *Tapping the microphone* Is this thing on? *Sorry for the screeeeching feedback*
Hi. My name is Lin. And I run my mouth here. I sometimes do a set called “I Comment Therefore I Am” because comments more often than not are the best part. In the interest of full disclosure: Today I am going to lure you in with VAGINA in the title of my post so I can later feed you liberal/DEM propaganda.
The set about vaginae is quite funny. I think. At least they are not “political”. However, if you think about it: The personal is political has been the rallying cry for the feminist movement in the 60s and 70s, and we owe it to our foremothers/sisters for our freedom to say VAGINA! as loud as we wish without being stoned to death…
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Scene 1: Unknown Mami and Her Vagina Started an One-up(wo)manship
This was going to be a story within a story. Long story short: Unknown Mami commented on Nancy’s post at Away We Go in which a game of bluffing about what your vagina can do is suggested. Thus began an epic One-up(wo)manship, and hilarity ensued. Some of the choice bits (No pun intended. *whistling*):
Unknown Mami commented,
Nancy retorted,
And it goes on and on. It is epic! Like The Lord(ess) of the Ring. You have to be there to fully appreciate the epicness. I spent the whole day trying to come up with a followup comment, a sequel that does not suck (Yeah, good luck! I know…) Here is what I would have commented if my vagina were not too busy surfing porn:
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Scene 2: What’s VAGINA! got to do with it?
Pardon me while I get my soapbox out. *Dusting it. Getting onto the soap box*
All this fun with our VAGINA!, perhaps paradoxically, brings up another point I wish to make: Having a vagina can only unite us this far. Aside from our bodies, there lies a risk of assuming some sort of solidarity amongst women across ALL issues. Do not assume that just because we all have vaginas, we are necessarily fighting all the same battles, from the same side.
Arianna Huffington‘s post Sarah Palin, “Mama Grizzlies,” Carl Jung, and the Power of Archetypes provides an interesting way of reading Sarah Palin’s Mama Grizzlies video, or rather, its resonance amongst certain segments in the nation.
Here are some of Palin’s memorable quotes from the now (in)famous video:
Ms. Huffinton’s point is that if we interpret the Sarah Palin brand and its effect on its audience from the perspective of Carl Jung’s “collective unconscious”, it is easy to understand and even appreciate how and why she is able to gain such a loyal following even when the more mainstream Republicans have tried to distance themselves from her. “Mama grizzlies” are archetypes, the unconscious, shared human instinct that Palin has invoked in her recent public appearances, touching upon the White middle-class fear of losing the established ground they have become so accustomed to, have taken for granted, inciting the basic human nature to fight for the survival* of the species, whipping her followers into a frenzy.
* You say “Survival”, I say “Compared to what?”
Here is what Carl Jung has to say on the power that archetypes wield over the unconscious:
Not to be outdone by Herr Jung, I decided to throw in my own missive:
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Scene 3. Stupid is as Stupid Does
From VAGINA! to a tirade against Sarah Palin… WTF? You are probably thinking. I know. I am amazed at my talent for random free association too. Those of you that have stayed with me so far are in this very very tiny sliver of a Venn Diagram intersection.
This is you —> A ∩ B
I <3 you. All of you. Except Elly. For Elly, I *heart* you since she hates <3
But of course, I digress…
I came upon this online essay America Needs a War on Stupid by Japhy Grant, and I have been trying to internalize the wisdom imparted by Mr. Grant so I can whip out the choice quotes in times of need. I am quoting them here since I suspect that quite a few of you would appreciate a good comeback as much as I do:
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Being the easily excitable kind, I jumped up and down when I read this, yes, while clapping my hands. I also played the theme song from Team America: World Police because I love a good co-opting like every other liberal conspirator. I would have been wagging my tail if I had one. Never shy away from an opportunity to repeat myself, I decided to leave a comment amongst the other more astute, intelligent responses, because “I comment therefore I am”…
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Tagged as: comments are the best part, Huff Post, ignorant people exhaust me, psychotic foaming, sarah palin
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