Cold Turkey (A Pictorial)

I have not been motivated to write real posts for a while now because I find lately my stats dispiriting, to say the least…


Turkeys. Reason why most people visited my blog lately...



I am kind of not motivated to write a real post... Gobble gobble



Oh well. This kind of provides me with a great excuse to show you this picture I took when I all of a sudden saw something really interesting happening on my bookshelf at work.

I think I am going to report them to HR.


I swear. I did NOT stage this. I simply caught them in the act. I suspect they've been doing this for a while now right above me all this time...



Or, I could talk about how famous people on Twitter actually talked to me today.




By “famous people” I meant whichever staff member from Comedy Central’s InDecision happened to be in charge of Twitter today. By “talking to me” I mean “Direct Messaging” so I was like the Booty Call that they were ashamed of being seen with.




And this is why we all need to have a blog: to make sure that we always, ALWAYS, have a way to have the last word.

There. You. Go.


Article by Absence Alternatives

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{ 36 comments… add one }
  • Nance November 22, 2010, 6:31 pm

    You had so much FUN with your frustrations today, I could say I benefited from your misery. Which is not exactly what I meant to say, but…oh, hell, this was great fun for me! We blog for ourselves, but what a gift you are to others!
    Nance´s last blog post…Drumroll- Please

  • secret agent woman November 22, 2010, 6:42 pm

    I’m sorry, my brain is too overloaded and tired. There’s something here about turkeys.
    secret agent woman´s last blog post…Wash away my troubles

  • jen November 22, 2010, 8:24 pm

    forget about stats, you rock
    jen´s last blog post…Sunday shadows and light

  • Vinny C November 22, 2010, 8:29 pm

    And again, another torrid office affair is exposed.
    Vinny C´s last blog post…Further Advances In Stalking &amp Sharing The Pain

  • Libby November 22, 2010, 10:01 pm

    I am totally using “turkey” as a key word in my next post.
    Libby´s last blog post…Im Like Oprah

  • MacDougal Street Baby November 23, 2010, 5:02 am

    Falafel. Not filafel. Geesh. Maybe a famous comedy writer but their spelling sucks.

  • writerwoman61 November 23, 2010, 5:39 am

    Turkey or not, most of us would kill for the number of hits you got this week!

    You there on the shelf…get a room!

    writerwoman61´s last blog post…Je Parle Français Sort of…

    • Absence Alternatives November 24, 2010, 10:32 am

      What got me depressed was that none of these visitors stepped inside my blog. They looked at the turkey picture and left.

  • Renee Fisher November 23, 2010, 6:09 am

    Your angst is so funny. That does it. From now on, every single post I write will have the theme be “Turkey” and all the tags be “turkey.” I am in awe of the number of hits you are getting and grateful that I am unsophistacated enough to not know how to access a list of my post hits. And I also know how to spell “falafel” which comes in handy on numerous occasions when I am writing my Middle Eastern food blog.
    Renee Fisher´s last blog post…At Thanksgiving- I’m Grateful For Me

    • Absence Alternatives November 24, 2010, 10:33 am

      I am actually waiting for Thanksgiving to be over to get a better picture of the DIP in the chart.

  • dufmanno November 23, 2010, 8:42 am

    Stats, shmats. Your’s blow mine away AND I noticed that someone looking for Marlon Brando happened to fall into your lap so that’s ALWAYS a win.
    I always try to message famous people who might bless me with one hand wave or acknowledgement before casting me back down to the pit of mediocrity from where I came. Then they make a point to remind me that they don’t follow me therefore I cannot communicate with them by message if I so choose.
    I hate the glitterati. But i love you.
    dufmanno´s last blog post…Blowing the Lid Off of the 30 Year Old Conspiracy

    • Absence Alternatives November 24, 2010, 10:35 am

      I talked about Marlon Brando once. I really do wonder how many pages of results do people have to go through to land here when searching for that. Bizarre! I love you too you reining queen of glitterati.

  • Tom G. November 23, 2010, 9:53 am

    I envy your blog hits.

    No wait, that was yesterday’s post.
    Tom G.´s last blog post…Life in El Norte

  • SisterMerryHellish November 23, 2010, 10:36 am

    I put a picture of the Last SUPPER up last week and yesterday I had hits in double digits for people searching “Last DINNER” which annoys me on so many levels!
    SisterMerryHellish´s last blog post…Out of Portion Control

    • Absence Alternatives November 24, 2010, 10:36 am

      Yeah. What kind of person can’t tell the difference between dinner and supper??!!

      No really. What is the difference?

  • pattypunker November 23, 2010, 10:45 am

    omgahhh those dirty little kittens. even with the flourescent lights on! they couldn’t wait until after hours. sheesh.
    pattypunker´s last blog post…my secret admirer

  • Catherine November 23, 2010, 12:18 pm

    It seems were on the same wavelength yesterday. I get such a kick seeing what people google and how they get to me. Your list is an interesting mix too…..Marlo Brando and Turkeys. HA!
    Catherine´s last blog post…Geisha Girls and Booty Pops…I am guilty by association

  • Vodka and Ground Beef November 24, 2010, 1:36 am

    Death by 1000 Chili Dogs would make a great name for a band.
    Vodka and Ground Beef´s last blog post…Team of the Week- From Fake Breast Exams to Coffins That Rain Men

  • Wicked Shawn November 24, 2010, 5:17 am

    Marlon Brando, Georgia O’Keefe and Marlene Deitrich searches brought people here. That is what I noticed. That is how I am wired.

    Also, I love direct messages from celebs, booty call of the twitter world? Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!! I love you, you dirty girl with dirty cats!!!
    Wicked Shawn´s last blog post…Soldiers- Stalkers and Did You Leave Former Stripper Off of Your Resume

  • Elly Lou November 24, 2010, 9:59 am

    Am I the only one who thinks you arrow looks a little phallic? Maybe that’s what got the kittens going at it…
    Elly Lou´s last blog post…Somebody Stop Me

    • Absence Alternatives November 24, 2010, 10:26 am

      OMG! That’s exactly why I added the white arrow! No shit. I looked at it and realized that it looked like a peni so I tried to “Go Back” but Paint wouldn’t let me at that point. I was too lazy to redo so I thought I was clever in covering it up this way. You’re like some sort of art historian.

  • alonewithcats November 25, 2010, 12:27 am

    I think if Googlers can’t spell the word “turkey,” they shouldn’t be allowed to eat one.

    But then again, I’m a vegetarian. And a copy editor. And extremely judgmental.
    alonewithcats´s last blog post…It gets better-er

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