Dear @Wired. Meet Georgia O’Keeffe.

In addition to Threadless Tees, I also try to seem young and hip and on top of things by subscribing to Wired Magazine. Although I have been caught in this conundrum of inadvertently outing myself as an old fart by actually subscribing to the print edition. Seriously, who subscribes to print editions of magazines any more? And since I am in the confessional mode, I may as well tell you that I still buy music CDs. Yup. I am single-handedly supporting the dinosaurs.

That being said, until the day I can sit in the open (in my own house, mind you) reading without being bothered, I will always prefer papers to hard metal/plastic. They are just a lot easier to read in a locked bathroom, with the fan on to drone out the incessant, “Mom. Mom. Mommy. Mommy. Mom. Mama.”

As always, I was happy to receive my latest Wired. I skipped the important article on Sergey Brin’s search for a cure for Parkinson’s Disease and tore immediately into the shopping feature (Shut up!). I saw this and my inner 16-year-old boy made me choke on my cocktail:

ETA: Of course the Product of the Month is a super duper $2,000 sub-woofer for your home theatre, Beolab 11 by the revered Bang & Olufsen.

You said it. Not me.

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Ok. Not to be sexist or anything, I am going to guess that the department that worked on testing, rating and writing about the 39 summer gears is mostly male. So nobody snickered or doing a Beavis & Butthead’s “Hehehe.” Is it just me? Really? I am very impressed.

Let me break it down for you…

You know Georgia O'Keeffe?

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Georgia O'keeffe. The artist famous for you know who-who...

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Come on! I cannot be the only one...

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In order to drive my point home, I have taken the liberty to dress the “Tulip” up…

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Ta da!

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Oh please please please don’t let me be the only one…

CODA on 7/7: I am happy to report that after almost 1 month, I am finally “vindicated”… This picture is now on Wired.com and the comments proved that well, it does not take any imagination to see this fancy sub-woofer as a, eh, modern piece of art…

17 thoughts on “Dear @Wired. Meet Georgia O’Keeffe.

  1. Holly B

    Call me an old fart, but I still subscribe to print magazines and I still read real books. Not online. There is something about the feel of them, the smell… all of it. I worry one day they will both become obsolete.
    Now, that Miss Georgia…………. she had quite the fascination with the vajayjay flower.
    Holly B recently posted…Goodbye Mr LappyMy Profile

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  2. Rachel

    Nope, definitely not the only one that “sees” things. As soon as I saw the picture I could have screamed out Vag … but then I’d have woken up the boy. No good 🙂

    Reply
    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Loud vaginas are a very interesting concept. Did any of you see the movie “Teeth”? (?) The movie about a woman waking up to find that there are now teeth inside her hoohoo?

      Thank you all for your moral support. Good to know I am not the only one that “sees” things…

      Reply
  3. Wicked Shawn

    OMJ, don’t you just wish they came in life-like shades? You know, so you could grab a mirror in the electronics store and just match it right up. Or perhaps it would be better to just take the retouched and photoshopped images from Playboy in and let hubby/boyfriend/girlfriend match it up to their favorite centerfold. That would be the perfect gift. No? I’m not complaining though. There are some manly man things that have the opposite implication. In larger than life sizes. 😉
    Wicked Shawn recently posted…I Am Not In Colonial Williamsburg, And Other Important DetailsMy Profile

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  4. Vintage Christine

    Yeah, it’s a pussy. Let’s not tiptoe around here. Stuff oriented towards men (oh, excuse me . . . LITTLE HORNY GROWN-UP BOYS) is just stupid but I’ll bet they sell a bunch of ’em. Now of course my desire for a penis-shaped cake pan isn’t so weird, it’s cheaper than these speakers (is that what they are?) OR a Georgia O’Keefe painting and the thought of seeing my husband reacting to a penis-cake makes me guffaw like Liza Minnelli did this week on Kathy Griffin’s show.
    Vintage Christine recently posted…There Are Angels Out ThereMy Profile

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  5. Mary Lee

    Exactly what is your take on the heading that accompanies the…um… apparatus?

    Of course we still subscribe to newspapers and magazines. Who takes a computer to the bathroom?
    Mary Lee recently posted…BassackwardsMy Profile

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  6. Miss B

    *blinks innocently*

    What, exactly, are you implying, lady? Looks pretty normal and flower-like to me.

    *blink blink*

    (p.s. I subscribe to the paper & ink versions of both the New Yorker and Bust. Anything longer than an average blog post on a screen is impossible for me to read. And I prefer pictures to be on paper and not all pixel-ed and electronical. We could start a club.)

    (p.p.s. I also still buy cds. And am vehemently anti-iPod and anti-Kindle. Death to the Machine! Or something more politely and less drastically negative.)
    Miss B recently posted…If You Were Sentences…My Profile

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