For the Dedicated Follower of Fashion

If you are like me, your life, at least the part that is connected to the computer and the Interweb, is interconnected with Google: Google Chrome (which I am using right now). Google search (Duh!). Maps. Directions. gmail. GTalk. Picasa. YouTube. Picnik. google checkout. google translate. Calender. Google analytics. Feedburner. Google Reader. Google Desktop. Google Docs. Google Earth. (Ok ok. I left Blogger for WordPress a while back ago, but still…) and so on.

So if you were google, what’s the next big thing you’d go after?

Would you have said FASHION?

Google launched Google Boutiques yesterday. They did drop the google name and call it simply Boutiques / Boutiques.com. With Boutiques, google aims to revolutionize the way shopping for fashion is done online, with the help of powerful algorithms.

I won’t bore you with the details, New York Times published a detailed review of the website and explanation for how it’s supposed to work.

Anyway, ever the Early Adopter (<– self-deprecating sarcasm) and Fashion Maven (aka I-wear-jeans-and-tshirt 350 days a year), I decided to check it out.

I started out by going through a series of “tests” so the powerful computers could determine what my taste is. Like this:

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This pair is one of the most "down to earth" in the series of images shown during the "aSSessment/evaluation"

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It turned out to be a long and arduous process of self-loathing…

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no images were found

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which proved my point that some of these things are not meant for you if you have trouble seeing the point. In the case of fashion, if you don’t see the point, you are either too poor, too old, or not thin enough. Or all of the above, which I believe applies to 90.5% of the population. 1% is so filthy rich they can look like whatever and people will still be fawning over them. 8% of the rest of the population is simply self-delusional.

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At the end, a verdict was given, according to the strong and powerful algorithm, my style and taste is…

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I can’t blame Boutiques.com though, after all, I DID hit SKIP too many times and it became depressed and wanted to get away from all of this too…

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… and don’t tell google, but I think I drove it to drink too.

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Coda: Despite the fear and loathing I went through, in the end, I think there are loads of fun that can be had with Boutiques.com. This is online window-shopping and virtual magazine clipping (Think: Tumblr for fashions, fashions that are for sale), and for the competitive amongst us, another place where you can amass followers, this time, with your keen sense of style.

Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is).
He flits from shop to shop just like a butterfly.
In matters of the cloth he is as fickle as can be,
‘Cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.
He’s a dedicated follower of fashion.
He’s a dedicated follower of fashion.

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30 thoughts on “For the Dedicated Follower of Fashion

  1. karaoke activity partner

    I, like you and the rest, have a Google Internet IV drip that goes directly from the Infernets (as I like to call em, well Ween does) to my Infernets Uterus – the womb inside me that creates my Infernets postings. (Another KAP dictionary listing…) and I have not only 1 or 2, or 3 Google identities, but I have 4…. Scary.

    Reply
  2. Kernut the Blond

    You forgot Google Sky – it’s the BEST app ever.

    Ok, so I can’t go to Boutiques.com. I already feel woefully inadequate when it comes to fashion, and I won’t look at fashion mags (it just depresses me).

    The “down to earth” pics??? Not even on my radar. I sit here in sweats and a t-shirt. Not even a cute or funny t-shirt like @elly lou. No, just a plain gray t-shirt and black yoga pants. I have three pairs of black yoga pants.

    Reply
  3. pattypunker

    i hope the marketing analysts at google read this review. it’s fantastic! they’d harvest a lot of insight here.

    first though, what the fuck was nicole ritchie wearing? it looked like my dining room table runner from pier one.

    second, they served you no polka dots? boutiques fail.

    third, who chooses between paris and ny? a glass of wine and a mojito? these all qualifty as “more my style”

    awesome post! hilarious doll baby.
    pattypunker recently posted…my secret admirerMy Profile

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  4. Wicked Shawn

    *ahem* You do realize I am going to love this??!!! Right?

    Also, remember the pic I sent you the other night of that totally fab bowler style hat I was wearing? The same shop where I bought it had t-shirts that read “Mess with me…..Mess with the whole trailer park” Elly, should I go back???????
    Wicked Shawn recently posted…Tiny Purple Love ImpMy Profile

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  5. wanderingmenace

    I love the JCPenny reference.
    Honestly, trendy fashion gets me into trouble everytime. It always seems like a good idea (I mean-leggings have happened not once-but TWICE in our lifetime-if that isn’t an indication that we don’t learn from looking like idiots the first time around, then I don’t know what is).
    Simple is better.
    Glad to see that Google is on a quest to prove otherwise.

    Reply
  6. Linda at Bar Mitzvahzilla

    Love this, Lin. Hilarious choices. When I turned 50 this year I decided I just had to start dressing like a grown up. I don’t make it to “grown up” every single day but I do many of them now. And, hey! It only took me 50 years! I just had this gnawing fear of looking really, really stupid soon – like wearing twenty-something clothes but being more, um, mature and scaring little children out in public.

    Reply
  7. Tui

    I’m with Sister Merry Hellish – they should find out your body type before hurling a bunch of anorexics at ya. I remember beta testing a site ages ago that let you put in your height, weight and mesurements, then dress your little avatar with stuff from their catalog. It was pretty cool, actually!

    Thanks for explaining that you drove Google to drink. Had a feeling it was off the wagon again after glimpsing some crazy stuff in the sidebar of my Gmail account today. Guess that explains it!

    ~Tui
    Tui recently posted…Alix’s Story- Chronic Pain and the Power of StubbornnessMy Profile

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  8. Justine

    Lin, You. Crack. Me. Up. Who needs fashion sense when you have such a wicked and fabulous style in your humor and writing? Your personality is enough to see that you catwalk your way in and out of every crowd in this world.

    p.s. I’m in googlemania just like you. Chrome, maps, calendar, docs, reader, the works. They rock!
    Justine recently posted…The aftermathMy Profile

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  9. Andrea

    Oh goodNESS. I can’t wait to try it, though I will have the same reaction, I’m afraid. Just like when looking through fashion magazines. Absurd. I love to imagine myself toting kids around wearing that shit though.

    Reply
  10. Tom G.

    Barbie says Math is hard! So is shopping. Thanks google for making it easy to dress myself. Now can you put an algorithm together to tell me how to think?

    Reply

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