Hello Sweetie. I need to get a grip on reality.

Seeing how I have been on a midlife crisis overdrive…

Yes, I think I may as well come out and admit it to myself. I have been going through some sort of personal crisis ever since I started this blog in 2008. Some sort of late-onset-puberty/rebellious stage sans hyper-libido. *sigh*

For someone who’s 120% sincere and honest when she vomited a post titled With all due respect, I am fucking scared of getting old, and who’s scared out of her wits of turning into some sort of predator, really, the last thing you needed to show her was a show dedicated entirely to time travel and alternate reality, starring a nerdy yet sexy 29-year-old actor and a 49-year-old actress in one of the most romantic star-crossed-lover (literally in so many ways) storyline. [Oh god, don’t you just LOVE the British? This anti-Hollywood-rule pairing would never, ever, have happened in the U.S…]

What if… BEEEPPPP. Not allowed.

*red flashing light* Compartmentalize. Compartmentalize. *red flashing light* *Steel door coming down*

Brain. Shutting down. Nope. We never ever want to go there. Just stop it right now.

Someone that I don’t know particularly well cornered me in the office one day and asked me a very blunt question about my personal life. I laughed. I laugh a lot, I’ve noticed. I explained to her how I am an expert in compartmentalizing my thoughts and emotions. Because that’s how people survive and function in reality, no?

This. Is not a cry for help. I just need to get over it. It’s full moon after all.

It’s amazing how I’ve managed to not mention the thing I have been obsessed with for the past month even once. Moving along…

I have my own time warp right here: Found this mix tape made by a classmate of mine when we were in college. He made several mix tapes for a girl that he was pining for. [Incidentally, like a plague, I now recall at least four other guys were smitten with her at the same time in our senior year. Still can’t figure out why. We’ve all known each other all these years, and all of a sudden, finger snap, they all fell in love with her…] I have no idea whether he’s given her the tapes, but the rest of us swooned over the mix tapes and like the stereotypical “great guy who never gets the girl”, he made a copy for all of us. I wonder what happened to him. I hope he’s well. Whoever he’s with, I hope she’s not having what I’m having…

Compartmentalization. Complete.




Article by Absence Alternatives

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{ 11 comments… add one }
  • Andrea July 6, 2012, 7:26 am

    I have not seen your obsession, but I’m intrigued . . . coming from someone who’s favorite book series is about time-traveling lovers. Sigh.

    And I suffered a great many internal heartaches while rollerskating to Chicago’s “You’re the Inspiration” in middle school. That song is a set-up for heartache!

    Hope you are well. xoxo
    Andrea´s last blog post…"Come Fly With Me"

  • Tom G. (@20prospect) July 6, 2012, 7:55 am

    Welcome to my world Lin! You are not alone. I think we are all in this phase. With our parents moving from “old” to ‘Elderly” and our babies moving from “kids” to “teens”, we are finally coming face to face with the hard truth. We are not “Young Adults” anymore. Just “adults”.

    Trying to come to grips with that is why I started blogging (I think).

    Anyway, stop feeling bad about it. Enjoy it for what it is. Escapist Fantasy, and come to the clubhouse this morning where we are all sharing our make believe boyfriend/girlfriends.
    Tom G. (@20prospect)´s last blog post…Dead End

  • Life with Kaishon July 6, 2012, 11:44 pm

    Oh! I just loved mix tapes. I actually remember sitting with my tape recorder/radio and hoping and praying they would play the song I needed! I also hoped the DJ would not talk and interrupt the music so I wouldn’t have to erase it and start over! ; )
    Life with Kaishon´s last blog post…God bless the USA

    • Absence Alternatives July 7, 2012, 1:50 pm

      Oh yes yes yes! That’s what I did too! Listening to the radio with my finger hovering over the stop/record buttons. Hated it when the DJ started the next song before the song I was recording ended. Ah memories… 🙂

  • Jack@TheJackB July 7, 2012, 5:44 pm

    I made so many mix tapes, far too many to count. Those that I still own are the legacy of past moods and places I once let myself occupy.

    This time in life is an odd one that I think many of us are trying to figure out.
    Jack@TheJackB´s last blog post…The Excuses We Make

    • Absence Alternatives July 7, 2012, 10:01 pm

      Thanks for the confirmation that I am not the only one going through this. Often I feel odd and rather embarrassed once I get a grip of myself

  • Alexandra July 7, 2012, 11:44 pm

    Oh, yes, honey, yes.

    I am going through such heavy stuff right now. So heavy that I have to work at still making conversation with my kids, and smiling.

    My mother was admitted to hospice last week and to see this HUGE part of my life, my mother, come to an end, makes me feel like I’ve been thrown into a maelstrom.
    Alexandra´s last blog post…Too Much Internet Can Make You Feel Too Normal

  • Secret Agent Woman July 8, 2012, 8:34 pm

    Are there folks out there who are NOT scared about getting old? Because I know I’m not ready.

    And what is the deal with American movies/tv shows always, always having the man older than the woman? Who says that’s how it should be.?

    • Absence Alternatives July 9, 2012, 10:07 pm

      It’s rare to see younger men and offer women pairings in shows, even rare to not even make it a big deal, and that’s why I love the storyline so much.

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