I went out for emergency shopping for Mr. Monk, my second grader. The school field trip next week requires in addition to everything else, RAIN FUCKING BOOTS. Rain boots. Seriously, where the fuck could I find rain boots on a random day?
So I ran to Target.
I also discovered that Targets carry clothes. (Ok, I have known this fact for a long time but they used to strike me as “For High School Girls Only”) Nice ones for $25 on average. So I spent almost an hour in the empty dressing room past 9 pm trying on spring and summer dresses. This is quite a big change from my usual ensemble of t-shirt and jeans. Now that I have to go to this new office with younger and hipper people, I have begun to wear jeans and blouses. And shoes with heels. I have figured this out: As a woman, you can wear almost anything and still look put-together as long as you are sporting a pair of envy-inducing shoes.
(With regarding the topic of the importance of possessing kickass heels, I will have to defer to the two sexy goddesses, Vapid Blonde and Wicked Shawn…)
Hey, a little bit of Retail Therapy, especially the French kind, would not hurt anybody, right?
Now I really just have one question…
Where the fuck did my waist go?
You’ll probably find my flat belly where ever you find your waist. Please send it back to me asap!
jotter girl recently posted…30 Second Story…bathing beauties
Indeed f*ck me heels can make anyone look put together.
And occasionally taken apart.
In the good way.
– B x
My waist migrated upward, and now I sport a style called “the empire silhouette”. It makes me feel a lot better about my former cute waistline.
Meg at the Members Lounge recently posted…Jack Being Warren Beatty in Splendor in the Grass
We call it Tarjay in my neck of the woods. If I can’t embellish my surrounds, I think I would die a slow death.
MacDougal Street Baby recently posted…Yesterday
Whenever someone talks about what they wear to work, I think back when I was in high school and my sisters told me they had decided that I should major in business administration. Why? Because they wanted to make me lots of cool suits and blouses. They had decided that I should choose a career on how great I could look in my sisters’ kick-ass sewing projects.
I love Target’s clothes. Just don’t try to buy those envy-inducing shoes at Target: Their shoe department sucks.
Diane Laney Fitzpatrick recently posted…Con-grad-ulations on Your Grad-uation
What I learned from reading your post…..is that I need to pay attention to the clothes department at Target. Not sure, I have stopped to take a look around. I go there at least once a week…..Just tell me that they do not have kick-ass shoes, that would be a serious leap for me. 🙂
Velva recently posted…Wordless Wednesday
Yours seems to have departed young. Mine has been located just beside my kneecaps, on the inner side. Or is that my inner thighs? Okay, I’m checking the bottom of my ass and…yup, theah it is!
I wish I could wear kickass shoes. Ballet flats will have to do, but only black and only plain. No bows, which are asinine. Kinda limits me.
Nance recently posted…The Last Hooyah
I’ve just recently re-discovered shoes – I’m almost sorry I did.
secret agent woman recently posted…An anniversary- of sorts
First off, Terget clothes have no shape, which means your waist is right the fuck where it was before you walked in that poorly lit, dismal den of inequity known as Target dressing room number 13.
Secondly…….shoes! AAAAHHHHH……
Wicked Shawn recently posted…Dear YouTube……
I am always tempted by the clothing section at Target, but it seems like everything I try in there doesn’t fit right. Either cut too small (for teenage girls) or too big (for those livin’ large). Where do I fit in, with my no boobs, no hips, no waist, and all thighs?
The Sweetest recently posted…Don’t Judge Me
Oh, I love Target. I get a lot of my clothes from there. And great shoes are the Cure All for any waist issues!
Target is fabulous for everything. From dental floss to bras. Yes, really. Of course they’d have rain boots!
As far as your waist goes…it’s probably in the same place my previously sized-2 waist went. I’ll let you know if I come across either.
Ameena recently posted…who would’ve thought
With the right heels nobody will notice your waist…which I’m sure still exists!
I could probably only wear your dresses as an eye patch!
SisterMerryHellish recently posted…Do Not Draw On The Walls At The Emergency Vet- Or Something Like That
Back in my heyday I was strictly a Joan & David shoe gal.
I cannot even fathom dropping that kind of coin on foot wear now.
Fallen, I have.
Or maybe just became Yoda, I have.
dufmanno recently posted…Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition
Target is where I did all my shopping for fashionable clothing when I was in high school. Now not so much.
Oh, honey, waist or not, Target is a go-to place for clothes. Absolutely. (Maybe not so much for kickass heels…so save money by buying your cute, hip clothes at Target and then get thee to Nordstroms for your shoes.)
Kristen @ Motherese recently posted…A Riddle Wrapped in an Enigma
When it’s raining in the spring/summer, my eldest daughter prefers to wear sandals or flip-flops. She says her feet dry faster that way.
Go figure.
Andrea @ Shameless Agitator recently posted…love
you crack my ass up! even though that’s bullshit about your waist. you’re tall and sexy and got swagger, girlfriend.
so, admission time: sometimes i supplement the wardrobe with a trendy target sundress, tshirt, or shirt. but then whenever i get a compliment and someone asks where i got the article of clothing, i lie and say nordstroms or macy’s. i’m fucking shallow, aren’t i?
i say all of us GGBs go shoe shopping in NY this July!!!!!
pattypunker recently posted…die motherfucker die
I’m sad about the loss of my waist too.
Do you think they make something as entertaining as the shake weight to help me get it back?
dufmanno recently posted…Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition
I often wonder the same thing. Alas, I think my ass ate it.
So, on the waist issue, does Target sell corsets? 🙂 or, lacking that, how about some cute empire-waisted shirts? I’ve been home sick, lolling around in bed like a cow for three weeks and I can feel rolls of fat growing in – on my BACK!
Linda at Bar Mitzvahzilla recently posted…From the Sick Bed
If my boobs hang any lower, they will completely obliterate what’s left of my waist…sigh…
Did you get the boots? I just bought all three girls cute rubber boots…they make them with patterns now!
Hugs,
Wendy
writerwoman61 recently posted…Happy 25th to My Brown-Eyed Girl!
I’ve abandoned any hope of wearing anything without an elastic waist ever again.
Elly Lou recently posted…Uke My Baby
A kick ass pair of shoes can make you feel on top of the world, ready to litterally kick ass at any given moment.
A Vapid Blonde recently posted…Oh You- Internet- How Did You Know
Ha! I can relate. (Isn’t this what elastic was invented for?) I guess as long as we can still see our toes, it can always be worse. (This is also why I must focus on shoe (window) shopping, rather than chocolate-as-cure-to-all-ills…
I would love for once to be able to dress up in kick-ass heels and head to work. Unfortunately, my workplace is a kitchen – so basically I look like a troll 24/7.
I’m sure you look gorgeous in whatever you happen to throw on.
Your son doesn’t need rain boots – just get some ziplock bags and duct tape them around his shoes.
Brilliant Sulk recently posted…GOOP
Remember in the old B&W movies when the leading man would have to leave the woman he loves and walk out into the blinding rainstorm and she would call out “DEAR, DON’T FORGET TO PUT ON YOUR RUBBERS!”
Yeah, so I laugh at that for an unnatural period of time because I’m juvenile.
Carry on.
dufmanno recently posted…Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition
Cue shoes are the answer to all of life’s questions, especially the one about your waist. The answer is, it doesn’t matter. Wear cute shoes and no one will notice anything else.
lifeintheboomerlane recently posted…Communal Dressing Rooms- Where Dreams Go to Die