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BlogHer Fuckyeah

My previous post was a fine example for #FirstWorldProblem.

The kids and I survived. Of course. More than survived, we had a grand old time taking it easy playing really layback tourists in Chicago. The kids apparently inherited my love for hotels: we spent one morning inside the hotel watching the History Channel.

My view now by the pool on the 40th floor… #nofilter #sky #clouds #Chicago #hotels

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View from the rooftop. #Chicago #lake #sky #skyline

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Night swim. #swimmingpool #swimming

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As I lay on the lounge chair watching the kids frolicking in the pool on the top of the hotel under the moon and surrounded by city lights, I had to admit, with embarrassment, that I could no longer complain.


I am going to be staying at yet another hotel tonight. BlogHer 2013 is here in Chicago. I hope to see some of you in 3D. Be warned: I am hashtag awkward.


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I was going to write something about BlogHer… But my besties that I have had the good fortune to meet and grope in magical New York City have all done a much better job than I could have, esp. since after three days, I am still pissing and sweating vodka… So if you haven’t been bored to death by the blah blogher blah blah are curious about what went down (PUN FULLY INTENDED) last weekend, go read about Buggin Words’ No-Pot-Needed Hallucination, Brilliant Sulk’s brilliant musing on the vaginas and vodkas she’s consumed, Patty Punker’s suggestion for an alternative FuckIt10 that we have all signed up and are seeking attendee registrations, Dufmanno’s encounter with a naked cowboy which was not the most skin she saw last weekend, For the Birds’ restrained song that is really not about you, and yes, Vapid, I am drumming my fingers waiting for your BlogHer report here… Pull yourself together, woman! Stay away from the Dish even though I know you’ve missed him and the Python (Dear Soren Lorensons, this is surprisingly not what you think, you perverts!) terribly.

ETA: The blonde vampiress came through with poetry in motion…

Instead, Serendipity! I came across this video/poem today.

“How to Be Alone”

It is the perfect remedy we need in order to recover from the highs and lows after fighting through our fears of opening ourselves up and meeting strangers. The powerful reminder to combat that gnawing insecurity, that tiny voice, that propels you to down five shots of vodka within the first 30 minutes of setting your foot in a party so that you can be the Dancing Queen that you dream of being. The talisman to arm ourselves with next time we attend any social occasion when ironically we often inadvertently feel so alone within the crowd.

Watch this.


I came across this beautifully written and performed poem through It Is Monday… Thinking Moment. The filmmaker is Andrea Dorfman, and the simple yet profound words were written and performed by Tanya Davis.

I cannot help but reprint the entire poem here just so I can read the words, slowly, hoping to absorb them into my being, to have them become part of the fiber of my soul.



How to Be Alone

by Tanya Davis

If you are at first lonely, be patient.

If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You’re not supposed to talk much anyway so it’s safe there.

There’s also the gym. If you’re shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in.

And there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there’s prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you’re hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously based on your avoid being alone principals.

The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers. Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they — like you — will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner. A restaurant with linen and silverware. You’re no less intriguing a person when you’re eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies. Where it is dark and soothing. Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.

And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you. Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one’s watching…because, they’re probably not.

And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you’re sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things, down your back like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.

Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, they are always statues to talk to, and benches made for sitting gives strangers a shared existence if only for a minute, and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversation you get in by sitting alone on benches, might of never happened had you not been there by yourself.

Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. Like people must have problems if after awhile nobody is dating them.

But lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it.

You can stand swaffed by groups and mobs or hands with your partner, look both further and farther in the endless quest for company.

But no one is in your head. And by the time you translate your thoughts an essence of them maybe lost or perhaps it is just kept. Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from pre-school over to high school groaning, we’re tokens for holding the lonely at bay.

Cause if you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed, and alone is okay.

It’s okay if no one believes like you, all experiences unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you, for this be relived, keeps things interesting, life’s magic brings much, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t connected, and the community is not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it.

Take silence and respect it.

If you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it, if your family doesn’t get you or a religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it.

You could be in an instant surrounded if you need it.

If your heart is bleeding, make the best of it.

There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

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10:05:09 AM: Now @marymac session. Was able to get ready in 20 minutes because I never blowdry my hair & I don’t need to shave my legs. #YouHateM eNow?!

10:11:07 AM: sayz: Making new friends is mentally exhausting even if you love them at first sight…

10:13:19 AM: Love this! “We may just need to own this: Your shitty writing is better than most people’s good writing!” Paraphrasing @avengingophelia

10:35:14 AM: @ #BlogHer10 we deal w the collision b/w “fantasy” & reality. It takes a lot to reconcile inner images of someone w the person in front of u

12:08:00 PM: @WickedShawn haz 2 work TODAY. “My boss just asked what I would like for lunch. My response: To stab all of you. He just nodded.” U tell him

12:45:03 PM: Anissa talked about her experience & support coming fr Internet after the tragedy & she managed to make us laugh. How amazing is that woman?

12:55:14 PM: Awesome @AnissaMayhew said “Ppl who say blogging is not important can kiss my ass!” Right on! It’s amazing how she makes us LOL #BlogHer10

1:30:01 PM: A speaker said ppl r generally kind. Ppl r really not assholes. @AnissaMayhew added “Some ppl ARE assholes!” She totally rocks! #BlogHer10

2:17:16 PM: Walking towards Bryant Park in my sundress & higgh heel, meeting w my bitches, typing on my phone, feeling all Sex and the City-y. NYC rox!

2:51:45 PM: There are 2500 people here #BlogHer10! It's amazing we haven't broken up in cat fights all over!

3:00:07 PM: The food is surprisingly good. Look! Desert SHELVES. NOT table! In fact, this is kind of evil.

3:07:16 PM: @marymac has a surprisingly youthful voice, like bells. She is personable, adorable. Lk her blog

3:10:00 PM: Empire State Building peeking out of Bryant Park. It's a gorgeous day for real. I'm in heaven

3:19:50 PM: Chilling @ Bryant Park w sexy ladies. Here r @pattypunker @BrilliantSulk @pugalistatrest

3:27:39 PM: This is truly an oasis in NYC inside Bryant Park. Beautiful day. Surrounded by beautiful friends.

5:01:47 PM: I truly am in luv w NYC. Even the ppl are better looking here. Doesn't hurt the weather is gorgeous

5:10:35 PM: Time Square fuckyeah! There were a lot of half nekkid hot men w nice abs walking around. I luv NYC!!

7:17:03 PM: Sushi & sake @ Kodoma for dinner. Now searching 4 a BlogHer10 party to get on w our bad selves!

8:32:23 PM: @ Sparklecom party. This is what I'm talking about! Oh yeah baby!

11:08:27 PM: So I am like lying in bed Tweeting for you bitches at a fancy party in public. You r welcome. #blogher10

11:12:42 PM: @knowmeloveme at Cheeseburger party! She looks hot!! Check her out

12:54:15 AM: sayz: Making new friends is mentally exhausting even if you love them at first sight (#BlogHer10 Day 2)

12:54:16 AM: sayz: I Blog Therefore I Am. Corny yet true.

2:47:17 AM: Apparently I danced w eyes wide shut like a maniac who’s never been out of the house. I did get a few ladies to own their sexiness. I rock

2:49:09 AM: What kind of fancy party shut down @ 1 pm? Hotel bar stopped serving @ 1 too. We had to go to some random bar & I had my 10th & 11th vodka

2:50:38 AM: Woohoo I guess I AM drunk. The bar closes @ 1 am. Not 1 pm. That’s be totally suck…

2:51:27 AM: Ok. Bad grammar! I am now confirmed drunk.

2:53:25 AM: Can you find hot pizza @ 3 am?! Fuckyeah you can in NYC! This one is 4 my husb who requested pizza

2:56:59 AM: @avapidblonde @pattypunker eating hot pizza in sexy party dresses @ 3am. I saw gawkers. #Noshit

3:00:42 AM: Hot chicks having New York Pizza @ 3am in Time Square. We were like a performance. Tourists stopped.

3:02:31 AM: Random guy in street: Look! Sexy ladies! Me: see? How awesome is New York? Guy: actually I’m from England. Me: You speak English well! LOL

3:04:28 AM: Random British guy: How dare you? Me: You speak American well? (Hit his behind w my pocket book) Off u go get some w your hot lady 2nite!

3:06:17 AM: Yeah. You really don’t want me to be all drunky & be “myself” & release me to the wild. I cackle. I flirt w every living thing, even grandpa

3:09:48 AM: It's 4 am. My flt is @ 8:30am. I'm not going 2 bed now am I? Thanks 4 putting up w #BlogHer10 tweets

5:39:33 AM: My favorite moment @ Blogher10? @BugginWord left a session early to fetch me 2 lunch w the gang. I was almost in tears when she appeared

5:41:05 AM: As I congratulate myself 4 handling this getting up early 4 the 8:30am flt so well, I dropped the ziploc bag w my cream etc into the toilet

5:45:26 AM: As I packed up this, my fuck-me shoes & my ho dress, I felt as if I were packing up my cape. Goodbye Land Where I Get 2 Pretend 2 b Awesome!

5:48:29 AM: THIS. Goodbye my secret identity aka ME! We had fun. It was nice spending time w you. Hello reality!

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BlogHer, fuckyeah! (live blogging through tweets)

August 6, 2010 mark my word: twitter will doom us all

1:51:24 AM: Seeing how it is almost 3 am and my flight is at 7. How I haven’t even started packing. Methinks I should just stay up & go straight to ORD 1:54:29 AM: Do you think it’s excessive to pack 5 pairs of shoes & my whole closet for 1.5 days? So I don’t […]


I Blog Therefore I Am. Corny yet true.

August 6, 2010 mark my word: twitter will doom us all

. I have been chosen to be one of the employees featured on the recruiting page for my company’s website. Not to be cynical, but I do believe that they intend to show the diversity within the company and that’s the main reason why I have been chosen: Asian, female, liberal arts. So I had […]


Wanted: Crazy Bitches to Party With at BlogHer

August 4, 2010 therapy in session

Warning: The following is BUI – Blogging Under the Influence. Like, now. I went to a company shindig tonight. Great people. Fun people. People that I have worked with for five years and with whom I have been through a lot. The company is celebrating a wonderful event and everybody is in a good mood. […]


Crazy week ahead… How to keep my Tamagotchi alive?

July 29, 2010 mark my word: twitter will doom us all

2:59:29 PM: sayz: Crazy week ahead… How to keep my Tamagotchi alive? 3:00:14 PM: Let the live blogging begin! 3:02:08 PM: Here’s my schedule starting this Saturday: Camping till Mon. Tue 6 am flight out on biz trip. Back Thur evening. Friday 7 am flt 2 NYC. Nuts 3:12:16 PM: Thought I’d try out […]