I went back and read my blog from the very beginning to see when and how the politicizing started. The answer comforted me: I started my blog around the time Obama was running for the U.S. President and Sarah Palin just came on the scene. So it has been doing the job it was meant to: a place for me to vent my frustrations and a platform for me to say out loud my half-baked ideas and thoughts. I did not suddenly jump on the liberal bandwagon because it was cool or because I developed some sort of crush on Rachel Maddow. I have started composing an essay explaining why all of a sudden I have become such a gay-loving liberal hate-monger. I have also started writing about WHAT’S WRONG WITH FOX NETWORK because Mr. Monk, by coincidence, asked in a frustrated tone, “What is so bad about FOX News?”

I am now immobilized by the fear that I may be pushing these people to the other side simply because I am being rabid. I would have, out of spite, if I felt I were  being forced to take on a certain perspective; I am a bitch like that.

All this agonizing, I am afraid, will probably not see the light of day because I can see the criticism on FOX NEWS easily perceived as a personal attack on its viewers. And, raise your hand if there is someone from the older generation in your family who watches FOX News exclusively? Raise both hands if that someone happens to be your mom or dad? Yeah, that’s what I thought…

And if I am seeing ALL THIS TEA-PARTY MESS as more than simply “Politics as usual” which many people would brush aside by saying either “I am not political” or “I don’t care about politics” but rather as a all-too-real assault on what this country stands for, NOT discussing “politics” I am afraid may create a chasm, and yet, discussing “politics” may also create a chasm.

I want to know where you stand and yet I am afraid to find out.

Angry Birds came to the rescue.

Great for people with anger management issues. And also for people with avoidance tendency.

The descent to madness was rapid: I “discovered” it (as one of the LAME VERY LAST Adopters) on January 3rd and I have not been able to STOP thinking about the game, wanting to play the game, hearing the music, the chirping and the snorting, and seeing the birds hitting all sorts of obstacles even with my eyes closed.

There is a reason why I never try any illegal substance. Mine is the obsessive, addiction-prone personality.

10 signs I am far-flung addicted to Angry Birds:

10. I skipped at least three meals and stayed up until 3 am because I needed to BEAT a level.

9. I YouTubed tutorials on how to beat individual levels. Normal for my 12-year-old, not normal for a 40-year-old woman.

8. My oldest shook his head at me and sighed. But I think he is just jealous because I am getting higher scores than his old ones.

7. I told my youngest that I have gone through the whole being a kid crap and I have paid my due, therefore I get to play the game whereas he had to go to bed.

6. At Mr. Monk’s TKD class, a kid saw what I was doing, “Ooooo. ANGRY BIRDS!” “Yeah. I am addicted. Don’t tell anybody.” “Ok.” He said, sympathetically.

5. In the total silence, I can still hear the chirping and the occasional snorting from the pigs, and the DARNED theme music.

4. I am so into it that my body tenses up when I am swiping my finger to fling the birds. The muscles in my neck, shoulders and legs are sore from all the tensing up. Seriously, WTF?

3. I cannot stop moving my body along the imaginary trajectory of the bird being flung by the sling shot. It’s not like I need my new addiction to be even more embarrassing and conspicuous…

2. I did not bother to get coffee from Starbucks at the train station because I was too occupied.

1. When I was reading my last post after I hit the publish button, I noticed that all the lines of words were tilted. I then realized that I was imagining the lines to be tilted, and the letters to be toppled. This was a new low and it is kind of difficult to explain:

I was seeing the lined-up words as lined-up pigs and wood/concrete planks. And I had this immense desire to sling something into the midst of these words to smash them into pieces, like so:

.

.

Yes. Please send help.