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I will never ever be able to fold a fitted sheet perfectly no matter how much time I spend on it. Fitted sheet, consider yourself folded.
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Checking my email is never going to be “QUICK”. I will always spend more than “Just one minute” when I log in my email account. I will be tempted to click on the links in the emails and it will always take longer than I think to read and comment on a blog post. And when you forget about your child’s lunch, he will hunt you down and demand lunch, but in a nice way that actually makes you feel even shittier.
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Corporate brand image does not necessarily mean Caution and Stodgy and Prim&Proper. “Inappropriate” innuendos are allowed in official press release; sometimes it makes it a WIN.
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"Clipart - Housewife Washing Up at the Sink Whilst a Man Sits in an Armchair Reading a Newspaper"
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My husband has blue hair!
I’m totally with you on the fitted sheets!
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We should really start a movement, or at least make a t-shirt!
LOL I love the Fitted Sheet one! Those are so annoying and I usually end up rolling it into a ball and throwing into my cupboard – there I win!
We all win! Fitted sheets can totally suck it.
I know I said that already, but I just like to say it whenever I can.
The order form is the funniest thing I’ve seen. You should grab it, edit with red pen (quesadilla, by definition, has cheese) and hand it back to buy a few more emails’ time.
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Great idea! This should teach him a lesson! (And not about mommy being a bad mommy…)
LMAO! So funny!
Thank you thank you very much. 🙂
Fitted sheets are evil. EVIL!!!!!!!!
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You think you can write a poem about the evil that is fitted sheet?!
Nobody can fold a fitted sheet. I saw Martha Stewart show mere mortals how to do it on her show once and it looked crappy too. Maybe we ought to hang ’em on hooks.
Loved the lunch order. I hope Mr. Monk has his own blog soon. I’ll be a follower.
Your train of thought never fails to amaze and delight.
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If Mr. Monk had a blog, it would be about how his mother did not feed him lunch!
I’m with you on the fitted sheet. Also: my future kids – should they desire an afternoon meal – will have to send in their “order” daily, as I still forget to make my own lunch.
You know who also forgot their lunch? Einstein right?! (at least the myth goes…)
I can’t fold a fitted sheet either, but luckily no one around here “gives a sheet.”
My kids gave me the blue hair, by leaving me notes like that one!
Hugs,
Wendy
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THAT is a good one! 😉
I’ve read instructions on folding fitted sheet sand they don’t work. SO I kind of make it into a bundle. That’s good enough.
Curses to blue haired men!
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A bundle is indeed good enough!
I’m the one with the blue hair around here. Someone should do a post about those sofa and chair covers you order by mail that on the ads make it look like your furniture is totally new when you put it on. I ordered one of those once and tried to put it on a chair and when I ran out of all known epithets in the English language, I found myself spewing in languages I don’t even speak.
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The slip cover! I almost bought one but someone alerted me to the potential heart attack and divorce proceedings… yikes.
OMG..this is hilarious! Yes, checking email should be “just an hour.”
And I HATE fitted sheets. I am scared of anyone who can fold them properly.
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Serial killers are good at folding fitted sheets I bet!
Ditto on the realization that checking email will never be quick! I’ve been late a few times because of it.
I like your humor, I really do! I wish I could write with such wit, too, but every time I try, I end up writing blog posts with lots of sexual innuendos (guess my mind thinks that funny=lewd). So most of the time, I stick to my hopeless-romantic style of writing.
Er, congrats on the hubby’s blue hair! 😉
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Thank you for the kind words. Those who can’t write, joke. 😉
You are so funny. How did you get so funny! Seriously!
I want lessons : )
Me either with the sheets. I try and then after like 10 minutes I smoosh it all together and race and throw it in the closet. I always race there. I think I feel like if I run it isn’t as terrible that I am smooshing my sheet. Oh well!
Life with Kaishon recently posted…‘Dont handicap your children by making their lives easy’ Robert A Heinlein
Your comment made me LOL. Racing ’cause you are hiding the evidence, right? 😉
OMG, I have blue hair too.
Lucky! 🙂
OMJ, every single one of those made me laugh out loud. I will not tell you which one made me almost spew my vodka and cranberry all over my laptop, but something tells me you can guess.
I will definitely fly Ryanair if I ever have the opportunity, they are my new favorite!!!! Hell yeah to the innuendo. Or was that just blatant double entendre???
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Vodka and cranberry! You are my kind of gal! 😉
“Double entendre” is the correct term for it.