Category Archives: imho is just a polite way to say I know you don’t give a hoot what I think but I’m going to say it anyway

I will stab anyone who says “Boys will always be boys”

I wasn’t sure that you need to read yet another post on the recent deaths by suicide* of some very young people in this country. I thought it was all over the news and everybody read/heard about it by now. Besides, I will just be preaching to the choir: I have made a conscientious effort to not attract right-wing ultra-religious anti-gay conservatives to my blog. “Wrong place. You are not going to like what you see here and I am not interested in wasting my time on debating with you. Exit is this way. Thank you very much.”

But fuck that. I am going to write about this. Again. And again. More. We need more discussion, nay, we need more outrage, on this. Not less. No more silence. Fuck silence.

Oh my god. As I was finishing up this post, I heard the news of another suicide by a 10-year-old girl in Allston, MA. What will it take to make this stop??!!

Here’s what happened in the months of September and October:

Billy Lucas hung himself. He was 13.

Asher Brown shot himself. He was 13.

Seth Walsh hung himself and died after being on life support for ten days. He was 13.

Raymond Chase hung himself in his dorm room. He was 19.

Tyler Clementi threw himself over the George Washington Bridge. He was 18.

And remember Carl Walker who hung himself last year? He was only 11.

These young men chose to kill themselves over living with the constant bullying (both physical and emotional).

After the brutal assault-murders of Brandon Teena and Matthew Shepard in the 1990s, we thought we have moved ahead, we have made giant stripes. Apparently, not enough has been done.

What kind of world are we living in that our children did not think there was any other alternative than suicde? That there was any hope that the harassment could ever be stopped?

Immediately there has been an emotional public outcry against the ugliness prevalent in America’s schoolyards. Ellen delivered a gut-wrenching message/plea on her show the day after Tyler’s death. A movement “It Gets Better” was started: celebrities and everyday people posted messages and their own life stories to let young kids know that yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, it does get better.

Neil Patrick Harris. Tim Gunn (who talked about his own suicide attempt). Chris Colfer (who portrays Kurt on Glee, IMO the most multifaceted gay character empowering the teens the country has yet seen, and for his character alone, I believe Glee should be mandatory viewing for every high school followed by discussions led by trained counselors. But more on that in a future post). And many many more have uploaded videos providing encouragement and hope.

The outpouring of emotional support hopefully is reaching those who need it the most, e.g. those who are isolated in Small (in mind and/or in geography) Town, USA, where, if you are a boy, wearing long hair or a lukewarm attitude towards football is enough to brand you the Town Freak.

Though I cry at these videos and am encouraged by the act of people coming together, I still have this gnawing feeling that something else needs to be done. “It Gets Better” puts the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of the oppressed:

Be patient. Grin and bear it. Just wait. High school will be over soon.

But how about NOW?

As Micael puts it rather succintly:

“What I am getting from it all is that yeah, it sucks, but cowboy up. It gets better. Fuck better. What about now?”

NOW looks alarming according to the statistics.

• In the United States, more than 34,000 people die by suicide each year

• Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15 to 24-year-olds, accounting for over 12% of deaths in this age group; only accidents and homicide occur more frequently

• Suicide is the second leading cause of death on college campuses

• For every completed suicide by a young person, it is estimated that 100 to 200 attempts are made

• Lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers

• More than 1/3 of LGB youth report having made a suicide attempt

• Nearly half of young transgender people have seriously thought about taking their lives and one quarter report having made a suicide attempt

• Questioning youth who are less certain of their sexual orientation report even higher levels of substance abuse and depressed thoughts than their heterosexual or openly LGBT-identified peers

NOW seems to imply that harassment is just part of expected experience in high school for LGBT students according to the statistics. Just because it is “expected” and “Oh, we all went through it” does not mean we should not try and nip it in the bud. NOW.

• Nine out of 10 LGBT students (86.2%) experienced harassment at school; three-fifths (60.8%) felt unsafe at school because of their sexual orientation; and about one-third (32.7%) skipped a day of school in the past month because of feeling unsafe

• LGBT students are three times as likely as non-LGBT students to say that they do not feel safe at school (22% vs. 7%) and 90% of LGBT students (vs. 62% of non-LGBT teens) have been harassed or assaulted during the past year

• Sexual minority youth, or teens that identify themselves as gay, lesbian or bisexual, are bullied two to three times more than heterosexuals

• Almost all transgender students had been verbally harassed (e.g., called names or threatened in the past year at school because of their sexual orientation (89%) and gender expression (89%)

• LGBT youth in rural communities and those with lower adult educational attainment face particularly hostile school climates

(Statics from The Trevor Project where you can find the sources for data quoted)

NOW brings shame to this Land of the Free for not doing enough to protect our children according to the statistics. As Keli Goff, one of my favorite bloggers over at HuffPost argued in her post “Why We Shouldn’t Blame the Bullies for the Recent String of LGBT Suicides” (the title is misleading. It should have been “why we should not blame ONLY the bullies”), those who should have protected these children and who should have ensured a safe environment for them failed miserably:

If a young student was called the N-word every day for weeks or months on end, and after repeated cries for help finally took his own life, how quickly do you think citizens of all races would take to the streets to protest? Or better yet, how quickly would Al Sharpton and Co. demand accountability from the school and elected officials under the threat of casting the kind of media spotlight that people like Don Imus have nightmares about?

… I have a hard time believing that if these kids had been bullied for their race, not for their sexual identities, that the adults tasked to protect them would not have reacted differently, or at the very least would have reacted at all.

Which makes me think that the kids doing the bullying are not really the ones at fault. They are simply taking their cues from adults. And the message they are receiving is that today in 2010 it may not be okay to call someone the N-word on the playground, but it is okay to call someone the F-word. [my emphasis]

I want to believe that the world is changing, that we as a society is coming together over these tragic losses, that ALL now understand how critical it is to confront the rampant and at the same time subtle homophobia prevalent in the U.S. culture, how stupid it is that Americans harbor this rigid view of genders: For example,

Boys + PINK = GAY. Girls + TRUCK = GAY. Boys + ARTS = GAY. Boys + DISLIKE SPORTS = GAY.

Of course I know this is not true. Not yet. I work with some of these people who are convinced that THIS has nothing to do with them, who at most paid cursory attentions to the deaths and the “movement” that’s happening. You see: They are not gay. They don’t have any friends who are gay. They were not bullied at school. They are just “regular” Americans.

I have news for them: Your children may turn out to be gay. Your grandchildren. Your nieces. Nephews. Cousins. And you know what? Bullying does not even have to do with sexual orientation. It does not have to do with anything really. Bullies prey on “differences” and since every individual is different, there is no saying WHICH difference is going to become the target. Your child’s personality or physical traits could become the target for bullying at school for no reason other than your child’s being themselves: your boy may be shy, quiet, reserved, bookish, bad at sports, etc. Your girl may be outgoing, athletic, have an aversion to pretty clothes and pink, etc.

A bully can decide to pick on any child for any reason. And a bully does not necessarily look like Biff Tannen.

I was emotionally bullied in grade school for three years by my entire class. The originator later confided in me that he started it because he liked me. (It’s a long story which I have written about here) It does not matter: I thought about killing myself because in my mind at that time there was simply no way out other than running away from home. This experience forever changed me and later in life I made a suicide attempt. Isn’t it funny? All because a boy liked me in fourth grade.

It could be called the “luck of the draw” whether your child attracts a bully’s attention or not. And girls can both be perpetrators and victims. Remember Phoebe Prince? She was only 15 and she killed herself when she could no longer take the emotional bullying from the Queenbees at her new school.

The kids also do not need to gang upon a victim to make the victim’s life miserable. All it takes is one persistent individual as is evidenced in the tragic death of Ty Field. Ty was an 11-year-old boy with a bright sunny smile. A bully had been bothering him for years but complaints filed with the school had not been effectively handled, and so the bullying continued. In June this year, Ty went home, pointed a gun to his own head and pulled the trigger.

A month after Ty’s suicide, Kirk and Laura Smalley still haven’t done their son’s last load of laundry.

“We just can’t,” Kirk Smiley said. “His Molina jersey still smells like him.”

This makes me cry every time I read it. Kirk Smalley was interviewed on CNN this month because the media finally gets it: Bullying is big news now. Anti-bullying movement is a great human story that they should all vie to report on. (Pardon my cynicism here. Old habits die hard). Mr. Smalley has been trying to get the attention of anybody who would listen because he wants to make sure that bullying is taken seriously. In the interview, Mr. Smalley mentioned one of the responses from the principal was

“Boys will be boys.”

How many times have you heard this?

Boys will be boys.

Girls will be girls.

Kids will be kids.

I get stabby every time I hear such a throwaway response. Imagine if during the 1950s people had simply shrugged their shoulders and sighed, “You know, white men will always be white men.” What the fucking fuck? We need to call Bullshit when someone simply shakes their head and says, “What are you gonna do? Boys/Girls will always be boys/girls.”

“What boys are you talking about? Whose boys? Which boys? What kind of behaviors do you consider to fall within the realms that boys naturally do that we should turn the blind eye towards? How far does it go on before it is no longer ‘kids will always be kids’ and becomes ‘Lord of the Flies’? What would you say if I scream in your face and say ‘Oh women will be women because we are all hormonal and hysterical’? What are the definitions for ‘boys’ other than the anatomical fact of having a penis? Who defines what ‘normal’ boy behaviors are? And who the fuck are you that you think you get to define that?!”

(Ok. You know if I am confronting someone at my kid’s schools, I will only be asking the last question out loud inside my head but writing it out makes me feel less stabby. So thank you for granting me this poetic license here…)

Let’s talk about this. Let’s all go home and talk to our spouses, our children, our families, our friends about it: If you notice, see, suspect bullying behaviors, report it. And calling people “GAY” maliciously on Facebook counts as 1st-degree bullying in my book.

Let’s all take a stance because we are all in this together.

* According to The Trevor Project, leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among LGBTQ(uestioning) youth, we should refrain from using the phrase “commit(ed) suicide.” Instead, we should use “died by suicide” or “completed suicide” when describing a fatal suicide attempt.

Juxtaposition & Perspectives

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Interesting headlines today:

“[From NPR] U.S. income inequality at its highest level since the Census Bureau began tracking household income in 1967. The U.S. also has the greatest disparity among Western industrialized nations.

At the top, the wealthiest 5 percent of Americans, who earn more than $180,000, added slightly to their annual incomes last year, government data show. Families at the $50,000 median level slipped lower.”

“[From Forbes] Duarte, Calif., home to the 91008 ZIP code, is a small suburb northeast of downtown LA, near the Los Angeles national forest. The median cost of a house in this tony town is a whopping $4,276,462, making it the most expensive housing market in the country.”

For perspectives, here is what 91008 looks like from above:

Perspectives are important.

Case in point: The U of Chicago Law Professor who wrote a blog post complaining about being poor on an income of $250K and ignited a firestorm. What made me laugh out loud and cry inside at the same time was the fact that he was genuinely surprised that people were outraged. Much criticisms and analyses have been published over Professor Henderson and his irk vs. the “electronic lynch mob”. My favorite quote by a pundit came from Paul Krugman (incidentally the 2008 Economics Nobel Prize winner) who penned in his blog post titled “Have you left no sense of decency?” (It’s a very short post. You should consider hopping over and read it in its brilliant entirety…)

“But 30 years ago people with high but not super-high incomes generally felt ashamed of themselves for griping — or at least, felt that they would be ridiculed if they gave voice to their gripes. Today, all restraints are off. The fuss over Messrs. Henderson and Stein is the exception that proves the rule: they wouldn’t be providing this spectacle if they didn’t normally swim in social circles where complaining that you only have 9 or 10 times median family income is considered totally acceptable.

Pretty soon, we’ll be having serious, completely un-self-conscious discussions in major magazines about the servant problem.”

Jan Brewer: The New Face for the Fight Against Glossophobia

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Jan Brewer.

We all came to know Jan Brewer, the current Governor of the State of Arizona when on the fateful day of April 23, 2010, against (and perhaps delighted in?) the rising controversy and media scrutiny, she signed the “Support Our Law Enforcement and Safe Neighborhoods Act” (aka Arizona SK 1070), setting the record for Arizona as the state with the most encompassing and strictest anti-illegal immigration laws, effectively bringing the country back 100 years.

Little did we know that Governor Brewer, under the facade of mean-spiritedness, tough-shit, insensitivity and fuck-political-correctness a la Sue Sylvester in Glee, actually struggles with her own disability. She is a sufferer of glossophobia.

The New Spokesperson for Glossophobia raising awareness to this horrible horrible condition

Glossophobia is NOT the fear of gloss, as some of you may have thought. It actually means Fear of Public Speaking. Or in layman’s term, speech anxiety.

I used to despise her too. But no more. Have you seen the video of her at the televised gubernatorial election debate when she was caught all of a sudden by her glossophobia? ? She stared at her prepared speech for more than ten seconds, lost for words. I assume that the extremely awkward gap of silence was not caused by her not having prepared for this debate especially since this happened during her opening statement when she was introducing herself and summarizing the wonderful things she has done for her state. In fact, I assume that she must have practiced and practiced and practiced. But when you suffer from speech anxiety, you have no idea when it is going to catch up with you. Just like that. Snap. She blanked out.

When Rachel Maddow played the same clip on her show, she besought her audience to go against our humane tendency to avert our eyes when a proverbial train wreck is happening, to put in suspension our discomfort in witnessing our fellow human being’s moments of embarrassment. It is painful to watch, as Maddow said, but watch it you must otherwise how would you understand what a horrible condition glossophobia can be? The pain. The humiliation. The suffering.

It was very painful for me to sit through those 40 seconds. I wanted to turn my head. That awful gap of silence that must have felt like a lifetime.

Tick tock tick tock. Oh fuck. My mind is blank. Say something. Make something up. Fill it with whatever. Think on your feet. Ad lib. Improvise!

As an actress, going blank on stage was my worst nightmare. As a mouse in the corporate maze, public speaking is my biggest fear.

People have asked me whether it is not ironic that the thought of speaking in public sends me straight to panicville when I have stood in front of a full theatre wearing nothing but a bustier and underwear. To me, there is a natural explanation: when I was on stage, I was someone else, saying someone else’s lines, living someone else’s life, all according to the script. It was actually safe.

Public speaking is a whole different beast. A much scarier one. Thinking on my feet? Making it up as I go along? Ad libbing? No not I. Improv? Not in this life.

This is why I have been content in my lot in life: Can’t speak in public? Well, let’s cross out all these things then as potential career choice… It was a long list to cross out. And I am pretty sure running for public office was one of them!

After I stopped shivering from witnessing that painful episode and recovered from my shock, three light bulbs immediately appeared over my head, like so:

Light Bulb #1: OMG. Jan Brewer is a victim! I cannot believe we have been so mean to her!

Hath not a glossophobic eyes? Hath not a glossophobic hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons? If you prick us, do we not bleed?

I cannot believe that I, a fellow victim of this condition, have been so callous as to think that there is something wrong with her. NO! Jan Brewer deserves our sympathy. I for one empathize with her.

Light Bulb #2: WTF? So you can run for public office and even be elected a state governor when you cannot finish a brief self-introduction without quivering and looking pitiful? AND you can also make grammatical errors when you are reading from a prepared speech? I feel CHEATED! I have been lied to! Where is that piece of paper where I crossed off potential career choices due to my “condition”?

Light Bulb #3: Thank you, Jan Brewer. You have inspired all the glossophobics to reach for the star! So what if we tend to blank out during our public appearances? We will no longer fear the sound of the crickets! Down with the crickets! We can still run for public offices and hope that we are brilliant enough to fabricate scare tactics such as “headless bodies popping up all over Arizona borders because of illegal aliens” and to manipulate people’s fear and frustration towards the economy into votes!

CODA: Unfortunately right after I finished the draft for this post, Jan Brewer’s behavior made me question her commitment to the Glossophobia Awareness Movement. In fact, I doubt that she suffered from this condition at all!

After what I thought was her “coming out as a glossophobic” party at the debate, she went on the Sean Hannity show, managed to completely sidestep her performance (or lack of) at the debate and told everybody that Obama and “the federal government is after Arizona and they are going after everybody.” Ok…

Then I noticed it. The nasal voice. She sounded as if she had the worst nasal congestion the world had ever seen. I became breathless just listening to her. I kept on taking bigger and bigger breath because I was afraid I was going to stop breathing the way she was going to stop breathing. (Yes, I am an empathetic listener…)

Perhaps because of her severe nasal congestion, she’s got a lot of loogy, snot, boogie way up there? Or maybe it is the other way around? Man. I feel bad for her.

Or maybe it is all her. You know: *Jazz hands* Just Jan. *Jazz hands*

I mean, after all, with a maiden name like DRINKWINE*… Well… You know…

* Nope. Not kidding. Yup. It really is Drinkwine. Can’t make this shit up.

I Comment Therefore I Am: Vaginas, Mama Grizzlies and War on Stupidity

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Hello? *Tapping the microphone* Is this thing on? *Sorry for the screeeeching feedback*

Hi. My name is Lin. And I run my mouth here. I sometimes do a set called “I Comment Therefore I Am” because comments more often than not are the best part. In the interest of full disclosure: Today I am going to lure you in with VAGINA in the title of my post so I can later feed you liberal/DEM propaganda.

The set about vaginae is quite funny. I think. At least they are not “political”. However, if you think about it: The personal is political has been the rallying cry for the feminist movement in the 60s and 70s, and we owe it to our foremothers/sisters for our freedom to say VAGINA! as loud as we wish without being stoned to death…

Scene 1: Unknown Mami and Her Vagina Started an One-up(wo)manship

This was going to be a story within a story. Long story short: Unknown Mami commented on Nancy’s post at Away We Go in which a game of bluffing about what your vagina can do is suggested. Thus began an epic One-up(wo)manship, and hilarity ensued. Some of the choice bits (No pun intended. *whistling*):

Unknown Mami commented,

Puh-leaze, my vagina can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan.

My vagina was once cast as Richard the III. Sure people were confused, but I’m sure Shakespeare was proud.

Nancy retorted,

My vagina, thankfully, has never been compared to Falstaff.

My vagina once split the atom. Just sayin.

And it goes on and on. It is epic! Like The Lord(ess) of the Ring. You have to be there to fully appreciate the epicness. I spent the whole day trying to come up with a followup comment, a sequel that does not suck (Yeah, good luck! I know…) Here is what I would have commented if my vagina were not too busy surfing porn:

My vagina is having performance anxiety the whole day, wondering how she can beat your vaginas. In the mean time she finished reading all 15,637 posts on her Google Reader and left intelligent, perceptive, thought-provoking (and heartfelt, if the situations called for it) comments on all. She also tweeted this and immediately got more followers than @aplusk!

Scene 2: What’s VAGINA! got to do with it?

Pardon me while I get my soapbox out. *Dusting it. Getting onto the soap box*

All this fun with our VAGINA!, perhaps paradoxically, brings up another point I wish to make: Having a vagina can only unite us this far. Aside from our bodies, there lies a risk of assuming some sort of solidarity amongst women across ALL issues. Do not assume that just because we all have vaginas, we are necessarily fighting all the same battles, from the same side.

Arianna Huffington‘s post Sarah Palin, “Mama Grizzlies,” Carl Jung, and the Power of Archetypes provides an interesting way of reading Sarah Palin’s Mama Grizzlies video, or rather, its resonance amongst certain segments in the nation.

Here are some of Palin’s memorable quotes from the now (in)famous video:

“It seems like it’s kind of a mom awakening… women are rising up.”

“I always think of the mama grizzly bears that rise up on their hind legs when somebody is coming to attack their cubs.”

“You thought pit bulls were tough? Well, you don’t wanna mess with the mama grizzlies!”

Ms. Huffinton’s point is that if we interpret the Sarah Palin brand and its effect on its audience from the perspective of Carl Jung’s “collective unconscious”, it is easy to understand and even appreciate how and why she is able to gain such a loyal following even when the more mainstream Republicans have tried to distance themselves from her. “Mama grizzlies” are archetypes, the unconscious, shared human instinct that Palin has invoked in her recent public appearances, touching upon the White middle-class fear of losing the established ground they have become so accustomed to, have taken for granted, inciting the basic human nature to fight for the survival* of the species, whipping her followers into a frenzy.

* You say “Survival”, I say “Compared to what?”

Here is what Carl Jung has to say on the power that archetypes wield over the unconscious:

[During troubled conditions experienced by large numbers of people] … explosive and dangerous forces hidden in the archetype come into action, frequently with unpredictable consequences. There is no lunacy people under the domination of an archetype will not fall prey to.

Not to be outdone by Herr Jung, I decided to throw in my own missive:

Thank you for this enlightening analysis on the power and danger of the paradox that is Sarah Palin. I just want to add that I am pissed as hell. There are Mama Grizzlies on this side as well, no? I for one am wanting to rise up on my hind legs because I do NOT want my kids to grow up in a society where

ignorance is “appreciated” as genuineness,

inability to carry a logical and rational discussion is explained away as down-home-ness,

anti-intellectualism is at an all-time high and considered to be a heroic folk rebellion,

and intolerance is equated with maternal instincts.

Scene 3. Stupid is as Stupid Does

From VAGINA! to a tirade against Sarah Palin… WTF? You are probably thinking. I know. I am amazed at my talent for random free association too. Those of you that have stayed with me so far are in this very very tiny sliver of a Venn Diagram intersection.

This is you —> A ∩ B

I <3 you. All of you. Except Elly. For Elly, I *heart* you since she hates <3

But of course, I digress…

I came upon this online essay America Needs a War on Stupid by Japhy Grant, and I have been trying to internalize the wisdom imparted by Mr. Grant so I can whip out the choice quotes in times of need. I am quoting them here since I suspect that quite a few of you would appreciate a good comeback as much as I do:

The right to hold an opinion carries with it the responsibility to defend it.

The reason for this is cowardice. Our society has come to believe that any viewpoint is a legitimate viewpoint, so long as there’s someone out there to espouse it. While this might make for good jokes on The Colbert Report, it’s actually a greater threat to America than terrorism or drugs or any of the other causes we have decided to ‘declare war’ on. Which is why I am suggesting that America ought to collectively declare war on stupidity. If we are to wage an ideological battle against a concept, let it be against Stupidity.

Being the easily excitable kind, I jumped up and down when I read this, yes, while clapping my hands. I also played the theme song from Team America: World Police because I love a good co-opting like every other liberal conspirator. I would have been wagging my tail if I had one. Never shy away from an opportunity to repeat myself, I decided to leave a comment amongst the other more astute, intelligent responses, because “I comment therefore I am”…

Republicans are once again playing on the level of emotions (fears mostly) and not brains. The whole mama grizzly thing taps into our most primitive instinct: it’s either me and my brood or you. There is no reasoning with people when their survival instinct has been turned on and whipped into a frenzy. The news coverage of the misc. protests/gatherings always reminds me of the story “The Lottery”.

We need this right now. I personally needed to read what you said here right now. Thank you.

Do Over: A perfect comeback is a terrible thing to waste

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Maddow for Prez (and Stewart for Veep, of course)!

This picture of wishful thinking is at the beginning of this post to make it known with no uncertainty how much I love and respect Rachel Maddow. I also would like it to be known that my adoration for her is NOT bandwagon-jumping: I have professed my loyalty to Dr. Maddow as early as December 2008 ever since I saw her appearance on Conan O’Brien (and for that there will always be a soft spot in my heart for Coco and his hair…)

To further set my girl crush all ablaze, Maddow gave a “fake” Presidential Address on her June 16 show following the much-anticipated, and laster much-criticized, Presidential Speech from The Oval Office by the Prez regarding the BP Oil Catastrophe. (Ok, seriously, peeps, we really need to stop using the term “Oil Spill”. Thanks.)

Maddow began her show thus:

You know how sometimes after you get into an argument or a confrontation with somebody, you can’t help afterwards thinking of all the things you wish you’d said. You run it over and over in your mind, imaging the perfect comeback or the perfect way to have made your point.

Did I ever?! Yes, YES and YES!!!! She had me at this “OMG that’s exactly how I feel all the time” moment…

But, that’s not all!

She proceeded to give her own Presidential Speech, a speech that she wishes the real President Obama has given instead. Here are some of the highlights in text. Or you can read the complete transcript which MSNBC put up right away due to unusually high demand. Or feel free to watch the video clip instead (after the jump) which is extremely gratifying, to say the least.

I‘m here to announce three major developments in the response to the BP oil disaster that continues right now to ravage the beloved gulf coast of the United States of America…

Never again will any company, anyone be allowed to drill in a location where they are incapable of dealing with the potential consequences of that drilling.

When the benefits of drilling accrue to a private company, but the risks of that drilling accrue to we, the American people, whose waters and shoreline are savaged when things go wrong, I, as fake president, stand on the side of the American people and say to the industry, “From this day forward, if you cannot handle the risk, you no longer will take chances with our fate to reap your rewards.”

… …

The second major development I‘m announcing tonight, my fellow Americans, concerns another oil industry assurance we can no longer believe. The industry has long assured us that they were capable of handling spilled oil…

The same low-tech ineffective equipment and techniques are being used to respond to this oil disaster today that were used in the 1960s and ‘70s to respond to spills back then.

That‘s because the industry has not invested in any new containment and cleanup technology in all of these decades, because they haven‘t cared too much about it as an issue and it shows. It shows both in the inept technology that we have to deploy, to contain, to clean up a spill like this.

And it also shows in the lackadaisical, uncoordinated, unprofessional way this inept technology has been deployed by BP. Beaches have been fouled. Wetlands have been destroyed. Wildlife has been killed that should have been saved. Pensacola Bay in Florida, if properly boomed, should never have been breached by oil. Perdido Pass of Orange Beach, Alabama should never have been breached by oil. Queen Bess Island, the pelican nesting ground and Barataria Bay in Louisiana – Barataria Bay itself – none of these areas should have been breached by oil even given the sad state of existing technology to stop it. But the fact that those areas were breached is BP‘s human error.

And tonight, as fake president, I‘m announcing a new federal command specifically for containment and cleanup of oil that has already entered the Gulf of Mexico with priority of protecting shoreline that can still be saved, shoreline that is vulnerable to all that has not yet been hit.

… …

And finally, the third development I have to announce to you tonight in the response to this oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico is about how we got here and how that will change.

I no longer say that we must get off oil like every president before has said, too. I no longer say we must get off oil. We will get of oil and here is how. The United States Senate will pass an energy bill this year. The Senate version of the year will not expand offshore drilling.

Every president in the modern era has complained that America must get off oil. Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and now, I, fake President Obama – we have all intoned solemnly that we must get off oil.

Now that we have, at the hands of the oil industry, experienced the worst environmental disaster in American history, the time for talk is over. The world is different now. Our country is different now. The scales have fallen from our eyes.

People say we‘re not ready. They‘re right. We‘re not ready. We also weren‘t ready to fight in World War II before Pearl Harbor happened. But events forced that upon us and events have forced this fight upon us now…

If there are elements of a bill that cannot procedurally be passed by reconciliation, if those elements can be instituted by executive order, I will institute them by executive order.

The political cowardice that has kept politicians from doing right by this country, finally, on energy – finally, standing up to the oil industry – that cowardice has been drowned in oil on Queen Bess Island.

… …

Although I am not so naive as to believe that any president will ever be able to pass an Energy Bill and have it executed just so that will have any real impact on the environment in my lifetime, like I said, it is gratifying to imagine what it would have been like to hear these same statements from the real Commander in Chief (assuming he has not lost his mind and decided to wage a war directly against the 50% of the country that considers Fox News a reliable news source). Naturally, depressing at the same time to imagine what could have been…

Here’s to you, Dr. Maddow. Thank you for the Perfect Comeback.

She proves that a brilliant mind makes you instantly hot. Period.

I Comment Therefore I Am – Trolling

33 Replies

When I was in college, Deconstruction and Postmodernism were in vogue, later when I was in graduate school, Cultural Relativism was all the rage, and I thrived in the academic environment that prized my way of examining and understanding life and people from all perspectives.

In real life, this makes me a person with no strong conviction, I suspect. My penchant of looking at people and life in general from both/all sides made me a great research scholar or maybe even a good instructor but would not have done any good if I wanted to change the world. For starters, I am agnostic because I have not the guts to decide on one thing or the other. (At least that is MY reason for claiming I am agnostic). I often corner myself onto a slippery slope by empathizing to a fault.

These past few days I believe I came to some certain degree of appreciation for things that I have sorely despised:

Teabagging Parties and Internet Trolling.

Tea Party Protest Sign. Well, sort of. The gist of it.

I went to a live taping for Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me and it was a blissful relief to be surrounded by people who shared my worldview, and I assume, my socio-economical and educational backgrounds. No apology was needed (except I did apologize profusely when I asked to take pictures of Peter Sagal and Carl Kasell. What can I say? They just seem too sublime to be asked to partake in such vulgar activities such as FANGIRL WORSHIP…) No explanation was demanded. I agreed wholeheartedly with everything that was said.

I can see why the teabaggers are drawn to these crazy tea parties! I thought. (Seriously. THIS can be very annoying sometimes…)

On the same day I went to the Wait Wait taping, I also discovered the titillating excitement of being an Internet Troll.

Ain't that the truth?!

I became obsessed with this post “How to Be a Good Wife” on Scary Mommy as soon as I saw the words: “Completing Him” challenge: Be the woman your man needs.

Long story short: Jill, Scary Mommy, found a post on a blog (which turns out to be a Christian, sort of “Come to Jesus” “Let’s know HIM and serve HIM well” kind of blog) that encouraged the readers to participate in an 8-week challenge that will help the women learn/make an effort to love their husbands. Some choice examples:

Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask him to prioritize them for you of what is important to him. For example – a clean home, home cooked dinner, coupon clipping, service at church, having friends over for dinner, watching/doing sports with him, etc.

No complaining, criticizing, rolling your eyes, nagging, or giving him any friction this week. Enjoy a week of peace in your home!

Support his vision. Discuss his vision for your family. Where does he see your family in 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years. Share with us how you let your husband lead.

The most telling part about what this blog that Jill stumbled upon is all about? On that blog, another blog is featured called Raising Homemakers*. “Dedicated to inspiring, teaching and blessing mothers who have an interest in raising their daughter in godliness and preparing them in the arts of homemaking to the glory of God.” I kid you not.

* Sorry peeps. I am not linking to any of these conservative websites for many reasons. For one, trackback is a bitch. And really, why ruin your day or even week by checking it out, getting nauseous just thinking about it?

Anyway, Jill used these “challenge tasks” to come up with sarcastic/ironic remarks about how she planned to serve her husband and become a good wife for him. Of course, the way her audience is (me being one of them), comments from Jill’s regular readers started pouring in.

Comments really were the best part there. Most of them were hilariously sardonic, and we were having a lot of fun, “building camaraderie” as I saw it, based on the same conviction which could be summed up by this comment left by Jen:

I let me husband have sex with me and he likes it. That is submission enough.

I was, however, disturbed and upset at first.

Do these women have girls? Why do they even bother encouraging their girls to study or do anything else if they expect grown women to do nothing else but allow their husbands to ‘lead’ them? In that case, wouldn’t the men prefer the ignorant kind? No talking up nor speaking up? Wouldn’t that just make this whole scheme a lot easier to maintain? Look at what’s going on in the fundamentalist Muslim societies. If girls are not allowed to go to school, yes, men there can continue to lead as long as they’d like.

I am getting riled up without even watching the video. I am sorry. I tried to be sarcastic and funny and yet I failed miserably.

Then Nic @ My Bottle’s Up alerted me to the aforementioned “I cannot bring myself to say it again” website…

OMFG! Should I click on it? My hand is shaking. Actually my whole body is shaking. Maybe it’s created by The Onion?! Please? Just lie to me…

Actually, I take it back. I visited the site briefly. And as a mother of two boys, I am going to be selfish and highly endorse such a scheme of producing wonderful homemakers who will take care of my boys much better than I have been and ever will. I never have to worry about my sons getting beaten up like Elin beat up Tiger Woods. And I can really learn to be proud of my boys when they show their women what their places are in the world. I wonder whether they also teach about ‘submission to parents-in-law since you know they gave birth to the man who is leading you so they are like on an even higher level’ because the last thing I need after raising these brats are daughters-in-law that talk back and don’t appreciate my gorgeous wonderful sons. Awesome!

And… I was back! To my sarcastic self again, baby!

Then “the other camp” found out the fun we were having over on Scary Mommy, very quickly, chaos and hilarity ensued. And that, my friend, was when I became so obsessed with trolling for things I disagreed with and made myself a nuisance in general. To this comment:

Serving Him and my husband is what I was put on this earth to do. I know where I’m going when my time on earth is complete. Can any of you say the same?

(The same woman also made the claim that her husband has never strayed because she’s never given him an excuse to… Oh yeah. It was very hard for me to sit on my hands and say NOTHING to that. I am very proud of my restraint)

I replied:

You are right. I cannot say the same thing because I believe in reincarnation and I have no idea yet what I will be coming back as. If I continue to do good the way I have, I sure hope I get to come back as a husband with a submissive wife who gives me no excuse to stray (wink wink). I seriously am looking forward to living the high life. So excited!!!

I also spotted a familiar face: The lovely Vapid Blonde was there at the party!

I am running right out and getting a pair of stripper shoes in which I will feed my husband bacon while he watches the Bruins win every cup and the Red Sox win every world series all day everyday….because THAT might be his perfect day with his perfect wife.

So I backed my girl up by praising her actions:

Right. Vapid. Work it, girl! Make sure you don’t give your husband an excuse to stray otherwise if he cheats on you, you will only have yourself to blame.

I was high. It was like drug. I kept on going back for more, checking for new development, cough cough, new opportunities for my comedic genius. Now, I am still not sure how the Gulf Oil Spill became involved in this heated debate, but the same genius asked,

Perhaps the oil spill exists for a reason. A punishment for greed? Ever thought about that?

It’s almost like she was a shill I put in the audience, she just handed it to me!

It’s the pelicans’ fault. Ever see how they gobble up all the fish in one big mouthful? Yup. Not just greed, gluttony too.

Eventually it dawned on me: This is silly. I wish conservatives and liberals would just stay out of each other’s blogs when politics, religions and gender roles are discussed. I am sorry. There is no way I am going to see things from the other side when these matters are involved. Try and explain to me why a woman needs to wear a chador and I will show you my bound feet. Cultural relativism my ass. Here was my final missive:

Blogs are not meant to be neutral or objective. Facebook pages are not meant to be neutral or objective. We have to agree to disagree sometimes. Jill did NOT leave a comment over on that website (at least the last time I checked). The fact is somebody went over to the other post and alerted people there that that post is being talked about here. (Wow, that sounded like I was describing high school, didn’t it?) The fact is you decided to come over and take a look and be offended.

It is really tempting for me personally to leave comments all over the Internet on conservative websites mocking them, criticizing them, but I refrain myself every time, because it would be like if I insist on watching Glenn Beck to get myself all riled up spitting blood. Better just walk away. I have read one blog post referring to mine in a negative light with insulting comments (yeah, I am not bragging ok? “Just ONE?” I know I am but a krill in this big pond and oh yeah Trackback is a bitch), I wanted to say something, to defend myself, to prove them wrong, but I walked away.

You can’t argue someone into changing their minds, esp. in the matters of faith/religion, and esp. when all this is based on ‘believing in Jesus/God’ as that very nice lady said in her latest post welcoming new readers. Did you really think you would be able to change minds, to convert people into ‘True Christianity’ that you subscribe to, by coming over here and yelling at people?

p.s. Actually I kind of wish it could work this way: imagine the lives that could have been saved from the Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition. Let’s just try to talk the other side into changing their minds!

p.s.s. You were so right when you said, ‘Heaven forbid that we might be right.’ That is why I am agnostic. I’ve got it all covered. Booyah!

p.m.s. Jill I am so sorry for coming back over & over again. I just discovered that being a troll is fun, no wonder people do it all the time!

Unknown Mami inspired me to turn my comments into a post because comments sometimes really are the best part! Besides, I am lazy. So why not recycle words that you have written?!

Unknown Mami

Heartbreaking

20 Replies

Fort De Soto lives up to its title

Our trip to St. Pete Beach, and especially North Beach at Fort De Soto was filled with moments of wonders:

White sandy beaches, calm and clear water, massive expanse of azure that makes one understand what it means to not be able to tell the ocean from the sky, the elegant flight of Brown Pelicans, and the delight of coming face to face with the living ocean: oysters, sea urchins, sea snails, mollusks inside sea shells, hermit crabs, and schools of fish that swim right next to you, by your feet.

Azure paradise

And sting rays. They hang around at the sandy bottom of the shallow ocean water on North Beach.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbLeIQrcyNA

And Brown Pelicans. Did I mention the Brown Pelicans yet? There were three of them flying over the hotel and in front of our room every single day, at dusk. (Sorry about the quality: I rushed out to the balcony with my phone to catch this picture)

Brown Pelicans are endangered even more because of the oil spill

Every time I saw them, I was reminded by the NPR interview with an environmentalist that I happened to hear the day before our trip: how Brown Pelicans are one of the animals that may experience the worst impact since they just came off the endangered species list in November, after 40 fucking years of struggling for survival. Every time I watched their graceful dive into the ocean, I felt like crying.

I wanted to say, I am so sorry.

Oiled Brown Pelican being cleaned by IBRRC

The video below is shot by an amateur videographer flying over the scene of the oil spill: it shows the extent of the damage is much worse than what BP has led the public to believe. My apology first:

I believe it’s important we all see this even though I am not sure what good it’ll do.

Helplessness.

I don’t like to feel helpless because that feeling will soon degenerate into hopelessness. How about a good dose of anger? How about this headline?

BP makes enough profit in four days to cover the costs of the spill cleanup thus far.

On Monday, BP said it spent $350 million in the first 20 days of the spill response, about $17.5 million a day. It has paid 295 of the 4,700 claims received, for a total of $3.5 million. By contrast, in the first quarter of the year, the London-based oil giant’s profits averaged $93 million a day.

The amount of oil leaking into the Gulf of Mexico has been estimated at 5,000 to 25,000 barrels a day. In the first quarter, BP produced 2.5 million barrels of crude oil a day worldwide — and it received $71.86 for every barrel.

At $93 million a day in profits, BP makes $350 million in about 3.8 days. The Washington Post noted that Exxon, through a decision by the Supreme Court, was able to pay only $507.5 million of the original $5 billion in punitive damages that it had been assessed for the 1989 Valdez disaster.

Or how about a screenshot of HuffPost when I opened it up this morning?

"Not my fault!" and naturally "I am not a crook!"

GREED.

Once again, my dear readers, I apologize: I don’t know what good this ranting will do, but it makes me feel much better. Even if just for a short while.

WTF Wednesday: A great week to be a misanthrope

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I am having a hard time with this post: I cannot decide which WTF moment to lead with. Too many blazing instances of human stupidity, greed and bigotry circulating the Interweb and I am at a loss. But forge on I must since if I don’t write a WTF Wednesday post this week, it would be like Tiger Woods missing the opportunity to play his 18 holes after being appointed the chaperon for the Miss America Pageant.

WTF Moment #0: BP Oil Spill. ‘Nuff said.

WTF Moment #1: BP’s liability is, as of now, limited to $75 million due to a law passed 20 years ago.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk4n0SvG0-Y

WTF Moment #2: BP made $5 billion in profits in the last quarter. That’s PROFITS, peeps, not REVENUE. And it is last QUARTER, not last YEAR.

WTF Moment #3: BP CEO said they will take responsibility for the RESPONSE but NOT the Accident. Since the drilling platform was outsourced to another, much smaller company, BP is, as implied by Tony Hayward, not at fault. In the same vein, DOD is not responsible for what happened in Iraq since much of that has been outsourced to Blackwater, and I am not responsible for my children since much of their education has been outsourced to the public school education system.

WTF Moment #4: Soon after the explosion and the resulting spill, BP reps went around coastal communities, offering residents, including fishermen whose livelihood depends sorely on the ocean, Wait for it! A whopping $5000 if they agreed to not sue. Please see #2.

WTF Moment #5: Is it just me? Was anybody else disgusted by BP’s move to create an environmental friendly, greener, image with their new green sunburst logo? They spent millions of dollars on that rebranding campaign. It would be tragically ironical if they end up paying LESS in liability for the largest environmental disaster to ever happen to this country than what they have paid in that marketing campaign.

WTF Moment #6: “Rush Limbaugh suggests environmentalists planned oil spill.” Please say something to this while my jaw is on the floor and I cannot talk.

Earth to Rush: Hey! This is Glenn Beck. I don’t believe that Obama blew up the oil rig!

WTF Moment #7: If you are shocked by #6, you are going to love this… According to Rush, “The ocean will take care of this on its own if it was left alone and was left out there.” And, there’s more!

“It’s natural. It’s as natural as the ocean water is.”

My favorite comeback came from Keith Olbermann: “You know what else is natural, according to Rush? Hemorrhoids.” GOLD!

WTF Moment #8: (This is personal whining…) We have planned a mini vacation to St. Pete Beach, Florida, this week specifically just so we could revisit Fort De Soto Park, one of the best beaches, and most under-hyped, in the US. It’s not just me saying it, it was selected as America’s Best Beach in 2005 by Dr. Beach. From what I have read so far, there is a chance that these beaches will luck out and escape the tragic fate of being affected by the oil spill. At least for now. But some scientists are not as optimistic and have predicted a not-so-sunny future for the Florida coasts, and ergo, economy. Upon learning this, I am becoming grateful that, by coincidence, this may be the last time we have a chance to see the beaches in their pristine, gorgeous state before the looming disaster hits.

WTF Moment #9: Another disaster was not receiving the deserved attention due to the oil spill and other shenanigans (that will be reported later in this post): the flooding in Tennessee and Kentucky which has reportedly claimed 29 lives and put more than 1,000 people in emergency shelters.

WTF Moment #10: The bomb used in the Time Square Bomb Scare was made with no more than items found in random hardware stores or beauty supply shops based on instructions found easily on the Internet. New York Times published a lengthy article describing the contraption, complete with a shopping list for any wannabe copycat out there. But of course, nobody in this country would be crazy enough to want to copy this. So we are good.

WTF Moment #11: The Time Square Bomber “suspect” Faisal Shahzad had been put on the “Do Not Fly” list but still managed to board the Emirates flight. Authorities are blaming Emirates Airlines for working with an outdated Do-Not-Fly list.

WTF Moment #12: Arizona. Where should I begin? Ugh.

On April 23, 2010, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer signed a bill that enacted the toughest and most stringent immigration law this country has ever seen in modern days. You know, after the Immigration Act of 1924 which included the National Origins Act and Asian Exclusion Act and most of what’s covered in the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1952 were abolished by the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965. So yeah, we effectively walked backwards 45 years…

This law would make it a crime for immigrants to fail to carry immigration documents on them and give the police the authority to detain anyone they suspect to be in the country illegally.

Note to Self: When in Arizona, remember to NOT dressed like an FOB. And of course, to remember to carry my U.S. passport with me at all times.

WTF Moment #13: Arizona. I cannot even make this shit up. According to The Wall Street Journal, “The Arizona Department of Education recently began telling school districts that teachers whose spoken English it deems to be heavily accented or ungrammatical must be removed from classes for students still learning English.”

Ok. I agree that teachers without a command of correct grammars should not be teaching English. But how many people you know that are native English speakers ignore grammars when they speak? How often do you see native English speakers with higher education commit the “sudden death” (imo) mistake of using IT’S when they meant ITS?

And how about those accents sported by other native “English” speakers from the other parts of the world? The Irish. The Scottish. The Australian. Hack, I have a hard time understanding the British accent.

Here’s my proposal: Anybody that does not speak AMERICAN should not be allowed to teach in our schools. Period.

Oh. You say you don’t know how to define “the American accent”? You say you cannot understand the Bayou accent even though it is technically VERY AMERICAN?

Well. Fuck me.

I wish Arizona have simply come clean from the beginning and said what they have had on their mind all along, “Whose spoken English it deems to be heavily accented or ungrammatical and WHO HAPPENED TO BE BROWN.”

You know what? I am pretty darn sure they have no problem with Elin nee Nordegren Woods’ accent even if she sounded like the Swedish Chef.

WTF Moment #14: Arizone. Again. Triple win. Seriously. Give the other states a chance. South Carolina called. They are not too happy with the spotlight you have been getting lately. They want their hard-earned “Worst State” title awarded by Jon Stewart back!

The attack on ethnic studies.

According to a proposed bill, school will lose state funding if they have classes that “promote the overthrow of the U.S. government, promote resentment of a particular race or class of people, are designed primarily for students of a particular ethnic group or advocate ethnic solidarity instead of the treatment of pupils as individuals.”

Have you read the Classic English Literature Canon used in English 101? Leaf through it and let me know when you come across an author whose works have been included in Classic Lit that is was (well, according to the DEAD White male rule, they are all dead so the past tense is a given) NOT white. Go on. I’ll wait.

Oh. What? You cannot find any. So one could argue that Classic English Lit canon can be construed as “designed primarily for students of a particular ethnic group”?

I guess I shouldn’t have behaved like an ungrateful immigrant. We really should be grateful that within the proposed bill, the teaching of the Holocaust or other cases of genocide will still be allowed. Oh my god. This is huge. Thank you so much! Until some closeted Holocaust denier becomes the next superintendent, that is. So teach them while you still can, teachers!

WTF Wednesday: Letter to Congressman

11 Replies

Now that healthcare reform bill has been signed into law, and we are NOT holding our breath to see when changes can really be carried out, probably years, and by then, I’d probably be dead from holding my breath especially since I can in all honesty hold my breath for only 10 seconds under normal circumstances… It’s amazing I know for someone with such a loud mouth and loud voice, my lung capacity is pathetically puny… what with the lawsuits filed by several states, the continual protests from the GOP and the Tea ~~Don’t-Call-Me-Baggers~~ Party members, something else on the horizon for the Republicans to wage a new battle:

The ~~proposed~~ VAT.

Actually, it was not even proposed in the congress. People started ASKING QUESTIONS about VAT because economist, former Federal Reserve Chairman, current White House advisor, Paul Volcker on April 6 answered a question at a New York Historical Society event, saying that VAT is not as toxic an idea as people may think. Oh, he also said, “If at the end of the day we need to raise taxes, we should raise taxes.”

Ooops. They (The Dems) did it again! Sound the alarm!

I have been trying to read upon various opinion pieces to draw my own conclusion. But the fact is: NOBODY has officially proposed it yet except John McCain, the Maverick. He alone proposed an anti-VAT amendment preemptively. Like anybody else I would like to be able to keep as much of my hard-earned money as possible. I was surprised therefore by my annoyance when I received an email from my Congressman, taking a survey, with a simple question: “Should Congress impose a new VAT tax?”

With NO information whatsoever on the background and origin of the recent brouhaha over VAT.

Most likely I simply needed a good dose of rage to distract me from life itself. Nothing, NOTHING, gives a good slap to wake me up from my self-pitying stupor like a good invitation for raging psychotic foaming. I immediately saw this email, perhaps wrongly, as an incendiary, biased missive disguised as an innocent, neutral survey. A fear monger. So I fired off this email, perhaps a bit pigheadedly. It felt good, I have to admit. I don’t really care that he will not read it.

Dear Congressman Kirk,

I feel the email survey on the proposed VAT you have sent out via email is misleading, if not disingenuous. When you send out an email with a brief question “The Congress decided to add more tax. Do you think they should levy more tax?” I am going to take a wild guess that most of the respondents will say “H to the ELL NO WAY!” I am going to take another wild guess that you and your staff will then show the survey results, perhaps even call a news conference, with the “stunning” result of the majority surveyed having chosen “NO”.

If a doctor goes to a patient and says, “Would you like to have toxic chemicals injected into your body, with the potential risk of killing the cells in your bone marrow, losing all your hair, and in general feeling weak and like cr*p all the time?” I am going to take a wild guess that the patient is going to say, “NO.” But if the doctor provides the patient with the facts and the reasons behind his/her recommendation, the patient will be empowered to make an informed decision.

Yes. You can argue that people who want more information can always go online. After all, google is just one click away. But let’s be honest with ourselves: The topic of TAXES has always been extremely personal to people especially those who are blessed enough to be in the high-income bracket, and lately it has been turned into an emotional subject as well. in your wildest guess, what will be the % of the people who after receiving this email wondered about the facts behind the VAT proposal instead of getting some gut / visceral reactions to the short question you posted?

Frankly I am disappointed. For the very least you could have included a link in your email to a fact-based, neutral information page. Granted very low % of the recipients are expected to bother to click on that link, but to those who care to learn more and to make their decisions based on facts and not based on a base human desire for self-preservation and an all-too-human “They can eat cake” mentality, such a skin-deep effort on your part would have helped prevent this bad taste in my mouth I am experiencing.

Sincerely,

I only bring up my degree when I write complain letters...

Let’s be creative! That’s so… BLEEP!

36 Replies

Who here has an obsessive personality and voted “Most Likely to Grow Up Alex Forrest” in High School? ME! I just cannot let it go.

Here’s what I wrote last week about the epidemic of the phrase “That’s so gay!”…

Let’s start with the word “Gay”.

Let’s start with banning the usage of the word “gay” as a substitute for “stupid, dumb, ugly, undesirable, etc.” from your schools.

Since I wrote “That’s so Gay” is NOT so funny! This has nothing to do with sense of humor… last February, “That’s so gay” has been gaining popularity as just another common expression. I am hearing (and seeing on Facebook) this phrase more and more often, from children younger and younger who have no idea what “being gay” means. As the phrase takes on the facade of familiarity, moving into the realm of the vernacular, taking on the identity of an idiom (because what exactly does it even mean in this context?! Children or the immature adults only know to prevent this phrase from ever being used on them… but what exactly does it mean?!) it is becoming harder and harder to fight it off.

I am tired of hearing “That’s so gay.” I really am. There are so many words in English to choose from to denote your distaste for something. Get a thesaurus. Get a book of classic insults by Shakespeare. Wilde. Because when you are so concerned about being called “gay” that “That’s so gay” becomes a popular insult, you know, you sound like a Homophobe to me. And you know what they say about Homophobes… How about this, let’s give “That’s so Beck” a try.

Once again, this is the case of “I must have been under a rock” since ladies and gentlemen, there IS has been a champaign to stop this madness, to bring awareness to the harm done by such a “harmless” phrase.

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.

I was really excited initially, “OMG! There IS a movement right now so I can simply jump on the wagon without having to feel so frustrated, with my panties all tied up and nowhere to go!”

Upon further investigation, I realized that the campaign was launched in 2008 by the Ad Council to dissuade people from using “That’s so gay” when they mean “stupid”. In 2008, people. That’s like the last century, no?! And we are still dealing with the same shit, and it is getting worse and worse every day.

I have been staring at this Twitter counter for a while now.

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I don’t know what’s happening with this campaign, movement, PSA. Is it still in vogue? Was it ever? But I saw this, I thought my proposed replacement phrase THAT’S SO BECK! has legs!

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Let's be creative! That's so..... Bush? As in the plant bush, really. Scout's honor.

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That’s so…

What clever, witty, humorous sayings can you come up with as a comeback?

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Watch the PSA commercial with Wanda Sykes from 2008 for inspiration if you wish. It’s as per usual HILARIOUS. (Warning: Just don’t read the comments… Trust me.) As for effectiveness? Let’s just say it was done in 2008 and I don’t remember ever hearing about this, until now. Sorry I’m all Rah! Rah! one second, and then Debbie Downer the next.

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The Absence of Alternatives

My therapy sessions…