This post was written on December 20, 2009, the Sunday before Christmas…
I am a gullible cynic. Or rather a cynical _______ (Fill in the blank for “a gullible person”). If it is possible to have such a conflicted personality. Or I may just be plain crazy.
Despite the making fun of the over-exposure of the so-called holiday “shop till you drop because the economy needs YOU!” season, the rampant commercialization of Xmas (not being Christian, I don’t really lament the secularization of Christmas but I do sympathize), the frenzy and stress we arguably inflict upon ourselves, I do look forward to the holiday season.
It is a time for family to gather around, for friends to get together. And for each one of us to marvel at how much the children have grown, even just through the sending of the holiday cards, or the much-lampooned holiday letters. For snow: always nice to admire from inside a heated house even though we curse at it when we shovel. For hot cocoas. For fire in the gas fireplace. For remembering how blessed one is. For thinking of the others, even if only once a year. Better than never, really. For teaching your children to think of the others, hoping the once-a-year lesson will stick with them as they grow up. Better than not even trying, really. For vacation.
I go through the holiday season playing Jackal and Hyde. Flip-n-flopping. Thanks to the “Stolen Day” and my will to procrastinate till the last minute, I am enjoying an atypical day of leisure and peace, and I am feeling especially schizophrenic. One minute I am all cynical and wondering how hilarious it would be, albeit absolutely not advised, to give my mother-in-law one of these ornaments…
Come on. You know you want one of these...
Or how “wink wink ain’t I hip and cool” it would be to hang this on our Christmas tree, at the risk of DCFS pounding on my front door (since I assume they have such a law against passing down cynicism against Xmas to children under the age of 18)…
For truth seekers only
The next minute I am merrily humming, going through Bing Crosby’s Christmas song repertoire inside my head. Driving through the burbs, appreciating the snow-covered trees and rooftops during the day, admiring the twinkling lights by night and, as much as I am tempted to make fun of the enthusiasm, the extravagant Christmas displays some families put up. The radio in my car is turned to the Christmas music station (though back to NPR on Saturday mornings). I sing along to almost every song, and I feel… *gasp* HAPPY. *ashamed* HOLIDAY-y. Except of course when they play “Christmas Shoes“. I cry so hard every time this song comes on that I am unable to catch my breath. Sappy? Sure. Do I feel manipulated and stupid? Of course. But is it the saddest, most depressing song ever and your heart is made of stone if you don’t cry when you hear it for the first time? YES!
The next minute, not satisfied with the old Internet meme of “creepy/scary Santas and crying kids” photos, I am spamming the Interweb with the new meme called “Santa Gone Wild”:
Annual Santa Speedo Run in Boston
Santacon in UK, complete with a pub crawl!
And the next minute I am wistfully looking outside at my boys frolicking in the snow while Sinatra crooning “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” in the background…
What reminded me of the true spirit of what has come to be known worldwide as “Christmas”, yes, the secular holiday that is widely celebrated in say, China, Taiwan, Japan and even India, the non-Christian countries, ironically, is when Mr. Monk, my youngest, observed out loud,
“Why did they call the radio station ‘Holiday Music Station’ when everything they play is about Christmas? How come they don’t play music for other holidays?… Shouldn’t they just call it Christmas Music?”
Mr. Monk, who still steadfastly believes in Santa, unknowingly expressed, IMO, what a true Christian should reflect upon– the existence of and the respect due to the others– as Christmas fever sweeps the nation, nay, the world. Faster than you know. Whether you like it or not.
I am SO stealing these 2 lines:
“I don’t really lament the secularization of Christmas”
“what a true Christian should reflect upon– the existence of and the respect due to the others”
Specifically for one family member, who said this to me…
“WHY did you put Happy Holidays on your Christmas card? It should have said Merry Christmas.”
.-= Jennifer Lynn´s last blog…Potter Brain =-.
a. i love those ornaments, i’d get a tree just to use those.
b. i don’t even mind the actual idea of the holiday, i like getting together with the family, having food and it’s cozy and fun. i hate the month leading up to it and all the obsession.
.-= Robin´s last blog…Sudden Xmas Spirit =-.
LOL. I hear you on B. I also want to hang those ornaments in my car, year round.
I will admit now, here, on your wonderful blog that I am the proud owner of the red fuck ornament. Yes, it is true, and thankfully my children cannot read yet…
My family embraces dirty vocabulary. I was in New York with my mother recently and she came out of a shop with a gift for me. For me? How wonderful. I opened the box and found a beautiful rhinestone pin. Only the pin was made up of words. It read “cunt.” My mom bought me a sparkly cunt pin. My mom is the best.
Merry Christmas!
.-= Amanda@Brilliant Sulk´s last blog…I Think I Need A Cookie =-.
Your mom rocks!!!!! Yes, she is the best. Hands down. I want to submit an entry of her to the wonderful website “My Parents were Awesome”. But seriously, based on the story you just shared, she IS still awesome. So I guess she is somehow disqualified… 😉
Merry Christmas to you! Please send my best regards to your mom! (That is, if she knows you talk to crazy strangers on the Interweb!… LOL)
We get attacked by Santas every year in San Francisco; they take over the streets.
.-= Unknown Mami´s last blog…I Comment Therefore I Am =-.
Really? Right now, I am forming thought bubbles of gorgeous men dressed up as Santas running in the street half nekkid. Is it like that? 😉
You crack me up – as always! Where DO you find your pictures? Those ornaments are hilarious. And I know a person or two who deserves, I mean, would love them!
.-= Jane´s last blog…A Giggle for the Holidays =-.
It is really tempting, isn’t it? To slip one inside the gift box… Too bad we don’t allow the F word in our house… (as I am sure all families with children, LOL) Now I am hoping my kids never ever read my blog until they are old enough to drink… or better yet, until they have their own kids. And please god please, don’t let them have kids before they are old enough to drink…
Really? Was it necessary to share this side of yourself? Your heart is almost as big as your mind or maybe the other way around. Anyway, a nice (im)balance, I suppose. Your boys and your thoughts are gorgeous. Poor Mr. Monk. Being wise is not easy. This, I know.
.-= magda´s last blog…Happy Birthday Big Guy =-.
Ok. If my complexion were lighter, I’m pretty sure I blushed when I read this. Thank you for the very kind words. And Happy Birthday to Ernie! He sounds like a very wise boy too at this young age.
I probably qualify for the JPC (just plain crazy) but I am so enjoying my gas logs and my fake tree.
That Mr. Monk is a wise one. I’m sure Santa knows that he’s been a very good boy.
Hope I don’t get the Christmas ornament (from my sons-in-law? YIKES!) Did find the perfect purse-sized notebooks for my friends, however–H is for Holy Crap.
Happy Holidays!
.-= Merrilymarylee´s last blog…Cute? EGG-xactly! =-.
I love “JPC”. We should start using it around like it is something that everybody knows and if you don’t, then you are not hip enough. LOL. Like CRS: Can’t Remember Shit, most common disease in men along with CFS: Can’t Find Shit. (I really should blog about these two diseases… they are a serious hazard to marriage…)
Merry Christmas. We are almost there: home stretch!
I’m swooning for those ornaments, too. As for Christmas songs, what about Dan Fogelberg’s little ditty? That ain’t no kinda upper.
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog…Fuzzy on Reconnaissance =-.
It is indeed very tempting to get those ornaments. They are from Urban Outfitters. Alas the only people I feel I can “safely” give these babies too are you, m’ladies, that I know in my online life!
First, I must buy the first ornament for each of my sisters. Must!
Next, at the precise moment you posted this post, I put one up about “creepy/scary Santas and crying kids” — what are the chances? 😉
Finally, your kids are super adorable! And wise beyond their years, I say.
Have a wonderful Christmas! It’s nice when you can step back and enjoy it for a few moments, huh?
.-= Andrea´s last blog…"Creep" =-.
It is indeed nice to be able to step back and take a look at things from a healthier angle. I need to hop over to your blog and check out the creepy Santas! 🙂
The best thing about a child is an unspoiled mind. (IMO)
Well said!
Hope you are doing well in the busy week leading up to Xmas!