If you are like me, your life, at least the part that is connected to the computer and the Interweb, is interconnected with Google: Google Chrome (which I am using right now). Google search (Duh!). Maps. Directions. gmail. GTalk. Picasa. YouTube. Picnik. google checkout. google translate. Calender. Google analytics. Feedburner. Google Reader. Google Desktop. Google Docs. Google Earth. (Ok ok. I left Blogger for WordPress a while back ago, but still…) and so on.
So if you were google, what’s the next big thing you’d go after?
Would you have said FASHION?
Google launched Google Boutiques yesterday. They did drop the google name and call it simply Boutiques / Boutiques.com. With Boutiques, google aims to revolutionize the way shopping for fashion is done online, with the help of powerful algorithms.
I won’t bore you with the details, New York Times published a detailed review of the website and explanation for how it’s supposed to work.
Anyway, ever the Early Adopter (<– self-deprecating sarcasm) and Fashion Maven (aka I-wear-jeans-and-tshirt 350 days a year), I decided to check it out.
I started out by going through a series of “tests” so the powerful computers could determine what my taste is. Like this:
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This pair is one of the most "down to earth" in the series of images shown during the "aSSessment/evaluation"
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It turned out to be a long and arduous process of self-loathing…
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no images were found
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which proved my point that some of these things are not meant for you if you have trouble seeing the point. In the case of fashion, if you don’t see the point, you are either too poor, too old, or not thin enough. Or all of the above, which I believe applies to 90.5% of the population. 1% is so filthy rich they can look like whatever and people will still be fawning over them. 8% of the rest of the population is simply self-delusional.
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At the end, a verdict was given, according to the strong and powerful algorithm, my style and taste is…
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I can’t blame Boutiques.com though, after all, I DID hit SKIP too many times and it became depressed and wanted to get away from all of this too…
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… and don’t tell google, but I think I drove it to drink too.
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Coda: Despite the fear and loathing I went through, in the end, I think there are loads of fun that can be had with Boutiques.com. This is online window-shopping and virtual magazine clipping (Think: Tumblr for fashions, fashions that are for sale), and for the competitive amongst us, another place where you can amass followers, this time, with your keen sense of style.
Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is).
He flits from shop to shop just like a butterfly.
In matters of the cloth he is as fickle as can be,
‘Cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.
He’s a dedicated follower of fashion.
He’s a dedicated follower of fashion.
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OK. I am definitely going to have to check this out… even if depression ensues…
😉
BigLittleWolf recently posted…Size Matters
I, like you and the rest, have a Google Internet IV drip that goes directly from the Infernets (as I like to call em, well Ween does) to my Infernets Uterus – the womb inside me that creates my Infernets postings. (Another KAP dictionary listing…) and I have not only 1 or 2, or 3 Google identities, but I have 4…. Scary.
You forgot Google Sky – it’s the BEST app ever.
Ok, so I can’t go to Boutiques.com. I already feel woefully inadequate when it comes to fashion, and I won’t look at fashion mags (it just depresses me).
The “down to earth” pics??? Not even on my radar. I sit here in sweats and a t-shirt. Not even a cute or funny t-shirt like @elly lou. No, just a plain gray t-shirt and black yoga pants. I have three pairs of black yoga pants.
Google’s kind of like an octopus that mutates its tentacles until there is no place to go but Google.
linlah recently posted…a change is coming
Yeah, I’m with you on this one. Soon they are going to introduce Google Breathe
dufmanno recently posted…Blowing the Lid Off of the 30 Year Old Conspiracy
Mine said I should be wearing gold lame (I can’t get the squiggle to go above the “e”) pants and a members only jacket.
This is why I think Google is screwing with me for fun because it can.
I’m going to consult Anna Wintour now and have her destroy it with the lightning she throws from her fingertips when vexed.
dufmanno recently posted…Blowing the Lid Off of the 30 Year Old Conspiracy
The decision between the burlap bag and the dirndl was a hard one…
Seriously? Of course, now I can’t wait to try this out!
My own fashion sense may not make sense to anyone else, but so what, I like it. Ha.
TechnoBabe recently posted…Some Things I Avoid
i hope the marketing analysts at google read this review. it’s fantastic! they’d harvest a lot of insight here.
first though, what the fuck was nicole ritchie wearing? it looked like my dining room table runner from pier one.
second, they served you no polka dots? boutiques fail.
third, who chooses between paris and ny? a glass of wine and a mojito? these all qualifty as “more my style”
awesome post! hilarious doll baby.
pattypunker recently posted…my secret admirer
God, THANK YOU! I was googling the shit out of the drink photo with the green leaves in it desperately trying to find the name . MO JO TO. It’ just rolls off the tongue.
Soon it will be rolling down my throat!
dufmanno recently posted…Blowing the Lid Off of the 30 Year Old Conspiracy
Fashion is like my cookbooks. The recipes look great, but I don’t have all the ingredients and I’m too lazy to go to the store and if I did go, I’d probably forget to get something and it’s a lot easier to open a can of tuna. Or something like that.
Renee Fisher recently posted…Please don’t take my crappy cell phone away from me!
I am glad I have you to keep me updated. I had no idea. My sense of style is terrible. Black everything.
Hope you have an awesome weekend.
*ahem* You do realize I am going to love this??!!! Right?
Also, remember the pic I sent you the other night of that totally fab bowler style hat I was wearing? The same shop where I bought it had t-shirts that read “Mess with me…..Mess with the whole trailer park” Elly, should I go back???????
Wicked Shawn recently posted…Tiny Purple Love Imp
I love the JCPenny reference.
Honestly, trendy fashion gets me into trouble everytime. It always seems like a good idea (I mean-leggings have happened not once-but TWICE in our lifetime-if that isn’t an indication that we don’t learn from looking like idiots the first time around, then I don’t know what is).
Simple is better.
Glad to see that Google is on a quest to prove otherwise.
Love this, Lin. Hilarious choices. When I turned 50 this year I decided I just had to start dressing like a grown up. I don’t make it to “grown up” every single day but I do many of them now. And, hey! It only took me 50 years! I just had this gnawing fear of looking really, really stupid soon – like wearing twenty-something clothes but being more, um, mature and scaring little children out in public.
It’s jeans and t-shirt for me every day to work. No chance to play dress up. Sometimes I wish I were working for some stuffy financial institutions rather than a cool IT company.
I’m with Sister Merry Hellish – they should find out your body type before hurling a bunch of anorexics at ya. I remember beta testing a site ages ago that let you put in your height, weight and mesurements, then dress your little avatar with stuff from their catalog. It was pretty cool, actually!
Thanks for explaining that you drove Google to drink. Had a feeling it was off the wagon again after glimpsing some crazy stuff in the sidebar of my Gmail account today. Guess that explains it!
~Tui
Tui recently posted…Alix’s Story- Chronic Pain and the Power of Stubbornness
I wish they would do that. BUT that may prevent them from showing 99% of the stuff to 99% of the population…
Hmm…does it ask you your body type first and then give you pictures of women wearing clothes you could actually get into? Now THAT would be impressive!
Driving a Google-related program to drink should go on your resume! Impressive!
SisterMerryHellish recently posted…I’m Not In Right Now…
I am adding it to my resume right now!
Can’t I just stick to offensive tees and jeans? Please? Do I get kicked out of the bedazzling commune if I wear sensible shoes. *sigh*
Elly Lou recently posted…Thom Gets Old
Elly, your t-shirt collection is like a national treasure. I know many of us would LOVE the opportunity to raid your closet. 😉
Lin, You. Crack. Me. Up. Who needs fashion sense when you have such a wicked and fabulous style in your humor and writing? Your personality is enough to see that you catwalk your way in and out of every crowd in this world.
p.s. I’m in googlemania just like you. Chrome, maps, calendar, docs, reader, the works. They rock!
Justine recently posted…The aftermath
Thank you! xxoo.
Oh goodNESS. I can’t wait to try it, though I will have the same reaction, I’m afraid. Just like when looking through fashion magazines. Absurd. I love to imagine myself toting kids around wearing that shit though.
Me too!!! I esp. love my imaginary 5-inch heels!
Barbie says Math is hard! So is shopping. Thanks google for making it easy to dress myself. Now can you put an algorithm together to tell me how to think?
I thought they already did?
Beep beep bloop beep baa.
“Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.”
– Quentin Crisp
At least that’s what I tell myself when I must defend my own fashion apathy.
I am gonna adopt that too!