If it is round and comes in pairs…

My boys are becoming more and more uncouth each day, and I am not doing anything about it because deep down I think I am a 13-year-old boy.

I am going to blame it on Austin Powers though. Lately they have been watching Austin Powers. All three of them. Yeah. I know.

Mr. Monk loved all the bathroom humors and antics and in fact, was so excited that he could not sit still,  jumping up and down through the movie. I could hear his excited, high-pitched laugh all the way downstairs through the closed door to the master bedroom where the TV is.

Nowadays the easiest way to start a fit of giggling around our house is to show them something round, and in pairs.

The boys saw the failed muffins

and decided that the muffins looked like boobs.

Mr. Monk: Oh mom!  They look like, you know, boobs!

12-year-old: (To his brother, with his mouth stuffed with one of the burned and misformed muffin tops) Hmm. If you don’t want to eat your boobs, I will have your boobs.

Me: (Trying not to laugh) Do not make fun of boobs.

Mr. Monk: Yeah. We would have died without boobs. You know mommy would not have been able to feed us… and we would have starved.

Me: Staying out of this topic because I did not want to explain to him, again, that I only breastfed for less than two weeks

12-year-old: Or we would not even have been born if daddy were not attracted by mom’s boobs…

Fortunately, at this moment, the conversation was derailed by my asking Mr. Monk what he was doing [No. Don’t ask] and we moved onto a discussion of penis vs. balls vs. ball sack vs. scrotum.

Boobs and balls. Boobs or balls? Boobs or balls?! Cake or death?! (Sorry. Got carried away a bit over there…)

Hey, at least we are using the correct anatomical terms.

23 thoughts on “If it is round and comes in pairs…

    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      OMG. LOL. Did he just read the story about the peepee kid who saved the city from being engulfed in flames?

      p.s. Oh good gravy. Somehow I got my stories confused: I at first thought the peepee kid was in the same story as that other kid who saved the dam by plugging the hole… Eh. Never mind…

      Reply
  1. dufmanno

    At least they don’t have weird ideas about what sex is from watching an episode of Torchwood with their Dad one night.
    “the lady sits on the table and pushes the guy back and forth while they yell. THEN she turns into an alien and eats him!”
    That was the description of it that I received. To this day he still won’t belive that it’s any different.
    Also my boys call their nuts “nards”. Notice I’ve not managed to correct any of these mistakes.
    dufmanno recently posted…The Doubtful AnalystMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Frustration. And then guilt. What would my feminist teachers say??!!

      Btw, this quote from your latest post? ‘I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.’ ~Mahatma Gandhi

      Thank you. xxoo

      Reply

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