New Year’s Resolutions? Bah Humbug!

30 Replies

I don’t understand why people complain about the frenzy over Christmas yet fail to be annoyed by the hype around New year’s Day. Ok, yeah, I understand why. But I am taking some “poetic license” here…

It is probably just me: No will power. No desire to improve myself. Disillusioned by year after year of failed plan to exercise and diet three days into the new year. Cynical of the belief about New Year = New Beginning. It was just another same old clock ticking. Arbitrary!

I woke up on January 1, 2010 to yell at the kids for yelling at each other on New Year’s Day.

“IS THIS HOW YOU WANT TO SPEND THE FIRST DAY OF THE NEW YEAR?”

I know. My 2010 has already started with a big irony. I can see that this is going to be a great year.

Perhaps it was a wrong move for me to step on the scale at all this morning… Everything just went downhill after that…

I have learned, rather than set myself up to fail, to set individual, realistic goals for each day: Today I vow to do the dishes, wash the bedsheets, finish unpacking, put away the stuff on the floor and vacuum the carpet. Not sure about making the bed with the laundered sheets. That can probably wait until January 2nd.

Years ago when Mr. Monk was still a toddler and I was a happy content definitely NOT-restless SAHM, I learned a few things from some online cleaning guru lady that still apply to this day. It makes the times when I switch my role to that of a housewife “a life full of purpose”:

1. When you wake up, get dressed, and put on a pair of sneakers even if you are not going anywhere. Sneakers help transform all the household chores into “exercise-like” items. You will feel yourself more energetic, and more purposeful. They also keep your feet from getting tired: you know you have a lot to do around the house!

2. Wear an apron with pockets when you pick up the house: you can stash the knick knacks along the way in the pockets and put them back where they belong on route.

3. Put on some music and move to the beat. My favorite is ABBA’s album, starting with Dancing Queen.*

4. My own tip: Have a drink. Add more rum.

Have a wonderful New Year’s Day, Soren Lorensen!

* Our friends FORMER friends put both Dancing and YMCA on the DO NOT PLAY list at their wedding. And those two songs only. I knew then that this friendship would not last… Turns out she belongs to a fundamentalist church and does not believe in dinosaurs. ’nuff said. (The real kicker is? He is a biologist. After so many years, I still wonder how that has worked out for them?)

30 thoughts on “New Year’s Resolutions? Bah Humbug!”

  1. Falling

    I’m choosing a different approach to resolutions this year, which may be why I actually made some. Instead of being all, “it’s only the 8th and I’ve already screwed up,” I’m gonna go with the idea that we have the whole year to attain our resolutions and it’s only the 8th, so I have 357 days in which to get better.

    December 2010, however, might be a little ugly.
    .-= Falling´s last blog…2010: Where’s My Damn Flying Car? =-.

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  2. alejna

    I don’t do resolutions, either. At least not ahead of time. Once I did a retroactive list that I was quite pleased with, though. I nailed every item!

    I always have the same sort of vague goals that are hardly worth putting into resolution form. Be more organized. Get more done. Don’t commit homicide.

    Also, biologists who don’t believe in evolution freak me out. I have an ex-brother-in-law whose cousin got a PhD in paleontology or some such, and then came out as a creationist. I just don’t get it.
    .-= alejna´s last blog…Holy crap. I totally missed a decade. =-.

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      I love the idea of Retroactive List. You should start a trend. Seriously. That post was hilarious. And a creationist paleontologist? If there is ever a true oxymoron… Wow.

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  3. Jen @ NathanRising

    Great ideas for cleaning the house… I should take that advice!

    I suck at New Year’s Resolutions. Totally suck. This year? This year, I promised myself I would do my yoga every day, diet, and try to lose weight. So far, I’ve done yoga once, not dieted, and not lost a single pound.

    -Jen
    .-= Jen @ NathanRising´s last blog…Normalcy Returns =-.

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Wow. That is still some resolution! Good luck! And perhaps you will find some long forgotten treasure? 🙂 Happy New Year!!

      p.s. I agree: what kind of people would dislike ABBA?! I am sure as soon as I say this, someone is going to protest vehemently. 😉

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  5. secret agent woman

    Here via Jennifer Lyn

    I’ve heard of that woman who tells you to get up and put on shoes. I understand the reaoning, but I vastly prefer to be barefooted (or sock-footed int he winter). But I do agree with the short-term lost for the day ratehr than resolutions for the year.
    .-= secret agent woman´s last blog…Re-charging my bozo alarm. =-.

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Thank you for stopping by. Love the name of your blog. 🙂 I love the feeling of barefooted too. Since I am mildly flat-footed, wearing shoes around the house does help a lot. It took some physical therapy sessions for me to realize that. Happy New Year!

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  7. Elly Lou

    That Magda is just adorable. I ate a chocolate bar for breakfast. Then I decided to go buy beer rather than tackle the ginormous pile of dirty dishes. I’m off to a fantastic start, eh?

    I don’t remember anything about dinosaurs in the bible…then again, I never read it. Bad Elly.

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      I did put on my sneakers. I am still in my jammies ’cause I was supposed to work out first then take a shower. Since workout never happens, shower, eh…

      Magda is in the same Insane in the Membrane club with me. Right, Magda? 😉

      Happy New Year!!!

      p.s. Right. That’s why she does not believe in dinosaurs!

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  10. 38traci

    I love what you said about yelling at the kids for yelling. I am guilty of that. It reminds me of Christine Baranski in the movie “The Ref”. Her kids are annoying her on Christmas Eve and she literally hits her son upside the head and screams “Celebrate the birth of Christ!”. It is a hilarious moment of parental incongruity.

    Here’s to a great 2010 — resolutions or no!
    🙂

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      “Hilarious moments of parental incongruity” LOL. My life is full of those. Happy New Year!

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  12. magda

    Resolutions. I learned from(pains and humiliates me to say it) Dr. Phil to make resolutions and commitments to the little steps that lead to the results, rather than commitments to the results themselves. No shocker that you didn’t need DP for that. There is a long and tedious explanation for why I was forced to watch at least 100 episodes, some repeatedly. Seriously, I had no choice.
    So instead of committing to losing weight or being nice or boning my husband(all of which I struggle with). I commit to eating more fruits and veggies and drinking more water. There is no way to fail. Because if I blow it one day, I can still resume my commitment without feeling defeated by failure to “lose weight”. I just get yup the next day and begin with fruit and water and I feel like a champ on my way to success. . Instead of “be nice” which is more difficult than it may sound for some of us: I commit to waiting before I speak. As soon as I catch myself reacting, I seriously look forward to my next opportunity to do better. And with this I escalate fewer conflicts and ultimately am “able to” give my self to more frequent gestures of “tenderness”. I think Obama used this term in his book to delicately reference Michelle O’s unwillingness to deliver in times of stress.

    Sorry for unnecessarily long and unhelpful response. Happy New year. what is left of it after reading my lengthy monologue.
    .-= magda´s last blog…From Me with Love =-.

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      I have a new year’s resolution: to find out WHY you needed to watch 100+ episodes f Dr. Phil. 😉

      That is actually a very effective way of getting people with no will power to take baby steps. I may just adopt it. Thanks!! By the way, you didn’t say what baby steps you took to boning your husb. LOL. 😉

      Happy New Year to you too m’lady!!

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      “They are like a bad relationship that keeps reminding you of what is wrong with you.” So well said! This is a really awesome analogy.

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      I cannot wear cashmere pants ’cause I have Hot Asian Buns. LOL. The right way to do New Year m’lady.

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  16. Merrilymarylee

    That was probably the Fly Lady. Once I was at a bookstore at the same time FL was speaking to a group there. I was stunned; women testifying like they were at a revival, some crying, as they told of how FL’s methods changed their lives. It was all a little scary.

    Glad you’re back! Happy New Year!
    .-= Merrilymarylee´s last blog…Merrily Merry! =-.

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      You are right. Fly Lady. Testifying? Did they all convulse involuntarily too? LOL. Glad to be back too. Mixed feelings naturally. Happy New Year!!

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