Our annual ritual in the fall (and yes, I know some of you hate FALL like a Sunday…) is to visit the pumpkin farm. To be honest, the reason we go back every year is for the best apple cider donuts made fresh there.
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The above is part of the Sundays in My City weekly blog-link event hosted by Unknown Mami.
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The following is the usual crazy stuff I blog about here…
Now, I am going to show you a picture that my husband took with his Blackberry. He claimed that he took it for me because it is blog-worthy. Sigh. This is true love, people! After all, when we saw the trailer for Red, I said, “Isn’t that …?” He said, “No, that is not Larry David. That is John Malkovich.” I said, “How do you know I thought that was…?” He said, “Because I just do.”
Anyway, this all sort of explains why we are made for each other even though on most days we are ready to choke each other (and not the sex-related kind).
“How do you tell if a pumpkin is male or female?” He asked, out of the blue.
“Hmmm.” I started wondering whether I had missed the biology class in high school when they talked about the sexes of fruits.
“Here.” He pushed his phone towards me, showing me this picture. “It’s when they have balls.”
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I guess I should apologize for ruining the magic of pumpkins for you. Fine. I’ll talk about corn then.
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Speaking of corn. When I first came to the U.S., I had trouble pronouncing some very simple words such as my own name and “corn”. I would make the word sound like something in the spectrum between “cone” and “comb”. It was an issue since I was going to a school surrounded by friggin’ corn fields. My boyfriend (now husband) taught me how to say “corn” by asking me whether I could say “porn”. And I did. Correctly. So now you know what I think of first whenever I say the word “corn”…
What? Oh. I am very sorry for ruining CORN for you.
Is it just me? Every time when I see a corn maze, I immediately think, “Children of the Corn!” That is why I never go into the corn maze and I wait at the exit anxiously for my family to come out. Alive. And I pay special attention to my kids to make sure they don’t have any murderous intentions other than the usual on-going scheme to kill us slowly by annoyance and frustration.
After I’ve forever ruined corn fields for you, look at this picture again. Doesn’t it look ominous? Ok. Fine. It is just me then.
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Hi Lin:
I love the fall, and I wish I could send you one of our pumpkins! Nice photos (and I love that your husband shot one just for your blog!). I’ve never tried a corn maze before…I get lost in the mall parking lot!
Hugs,
Wendy
writerwoman61 recently posted…Coincidence I Think Not!
I am directionally-challenged too. I have never set foot inside the corn maze, other than this time when I inched my way in through the exit so I could take pictures for you guys. The sacrifices I make for you all. Geez. 😉
So, I guess I’m the only one here who has seen the endlessly entertaining example of gay porn entitled “Food Fuck”? Anyone?
I don’t think they used corn at any point, though. (However, two guys simultaneously fucking opposite ends of an enormous watermelon — that was certainly something. Truth be told, it’s probably one of the most genuinely enthusiastic and enjoyment-filled porn flicks I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a _lot_ of porn — one had to do something to kill the down-time at the sex shop, after all.)
I’m sorry, did I have a point to begin with? Probably not.
Carry on.
Miss B recently posted…Fire & Water
Watermelon. Now that makes a lot more sense than say APPLE PIE. Dumb kids.
There is a huge porn maze just a few minutes from my house! Wait? What? You’re not surprised at all? Hmmm…fine then, be that way.
Wicked Shawn recently posted…It Wasn’t My Fault
I would invest in a Porn maze. How can it not be a success?!
Am I the only one who spies the fiery red whisps of Malachi’s hair behind those plants? Burt & Vicky never had a chance.
dufmanno recently posted…A Girl Really Should Know Her Limitations
Wow. You even remember the names! I bow in your direction you Goddess of the 80s.
Although I’m not a fan of the precursor to winter, I do enjoy some aspects of fall like pumpkins and corn mazes.
secret agent woman recently posted…Wheres the goddamn noodles- YART- Part 1
Elly @ BugginWord would be happy to know that she’s not the only one suspicious of Fall due to it being the harbinger of Winer!
If you don’t have porn with your corn you haven’t lived.
Jack recently posted…Do you Have Blog Envy
Tru dat! And vice versa.
Usually I’m right there with Elly Lou, not liking the Fall, but this year it’s kind of nice. *ducks to avoid thrown objects* Today is our first real “Fall-feeling” day. It was nice to put on a warm, soft sweater.
Beautiful pictures! Makes me (almost) want a kid to take pumpkin shopping. But I will never look at corn or pumpkins the same again. Please don’t ruin chocolate for me, k? I need chocolate.
Kernut the Blond recently posted…The Gruesome Death of A Fly
(This reply is for everybody BUT Ms. Kernut…) Bawhahahaha. Little did she know that as a mother who has gone through countless diaper changes, it is just TOO EASY to ruin chocolate for her… *Excellent* <– you have to imagine Mr. Burns saying this.
Yes, ’tis the season. We managed to hit a corn maze two weekends ago and the pictures are still being ignored on my computer, waiting to be picniked.
But we have a trip to the pumpkin patch this weekend that I’m looking forward to. But apple cider donuts you say? Mmmm…I need to get me some of those. I hope they’ll have it where we planned our outing.
Justine recently posted…Real
According to Tom Skilling, this weekend is going to be gorgeous! The downside? You will end up with MORE pictures that make you feel guilty when you ignore them. 😉
Oh, I miss the seasons! Especially Fall!
My hubby and I substitute “corny” for “horny.” Too bad the kinds caught on a long time ago.
Erica@PinesLakeRedhead recently posted…Anxieties- Fly Away
Life has not been the same ever since the kids learned to spell… 😉
fabulous pics of your trip to the porn field.
pattypunker recently posted…things lindsay lohan says
That was a Freudian slip, right? 😉
i love you….you are so hilarious!
that last pick reminds me of children of the corn!
I love the Fall!
Thank you. I love bacon and I am a ham. 😉
Oh! Oh! Corn porn. Aaaaand …. follow.
Sarah P recently posted…No one wears pantyhose on purpose
Dang! So that’s my problem: I need more vegetable porn! I need to do this more often. Thanks. 🙂
Watch out for this one, Subwow. Don’t let her near your watercolors…
Elly Lou recently posted…Aunt Vi- Please Adopt Me
LOL. Wait. Did you mean watercoolers or watercolors? Is watercolors a euphemism for something else? I’m intrigued…
Love it! Cornfields do look ominous — I am with you there. And my dear sweet niece couldn’t pronounce “corn” either — she said “porn” instead! Imagine an adorable 3 year old girl at the dinner table saying, “Mmmm, this some good porn. Please pass the porn.” We couldn’t get over that for years.
Thank you for letting me know that this is a mistake made by native speakers too. This is GOLD!
Glad I’m not the only one who thinks of Children of the Corn every time we go to the pumpkin patch.
My kids look at me like I’m crazy when I take them to the corn maze, and chase them around calling “Make sacrifice to him. Bring him the blood of the outlanders!”
Yeah, they’re gonna need therapy.
Tom G. recently posted…Punk Rock Girl
Thank you for visiting and commenting. In our combined imagining, you’d be the one making those kids murder me!