Red Envelopes

42 Replies

For Chinese New Year, instead of wrapped-up presents, children are given cold hard cash inside red envelopes for good luck.

We are a practical people.

I still remember the excitement on Chinese New Year’s eve: after the big dinner, my parents would call me to their bedroom and hand me a red envelope. My parents never bought me any presents partly because birthday celebrations for children had not been a popular concept although people do celebrate the elder’s significant birthdays such as when Grandma finally hits 80 and hasn’t kicked the bucket yet, and partly because we were not poor but not wealthy either.

That New Year’s Eve red envelope was IT.

Of course, every other adult that you see during the 15 days of Chinese New Year is expected to give you a red envelope. The more relatives and friends your family have, the more red envelopes you get. The more red envelopes you get, the higher your net worth becomes, that is, until your mother takes them all away, “I will save it for you!”

Of course, you never see that money again.

I am embarrassed to admit that, at least during Chinese New Year, you DO have a favorite aunt or uncle, the one who’s known to give out generous amount in their red envelopes. As soon as you wake up on the first day of Chinese New Year, you try to figure out WHEN you will be visiting them by asking your parents indirect questions such as,

“When are we going to visit this or that uncle/aunt?”

And then deny vehemently when your mother accuses you of wanting to visit them simply for the big, fat red envelope you know you’ll be getting.

You also will try and hide your disappointment when your mother strikes some stupid deal with an aunt of yours to NOT give red envelopes to each other’s children.

I don’t remember much from my childhood but I do remember counting the money vividly. It was a ritual in itself.

It was of course never polite to count the money right then and there and therefore I would stash the red envelopes away, in the pocket of my jacket, in my fuzzy poodle purse, in my oversized Japanese-style wallet, in my closet. (It has happened more than once, I believe, that I lost my red envelopes. The memory is fuzzy now because it was rather traumatic and I am pretty sure I have blocked it off…) The whole day the thought of those envelopes and HOW MUCH MONEY in each of them lingered, the way the burnt smell of exploded fireworks did, and those envelopes surely felt like they were burning a hole inside my pocket. I waited till the end of day to spread out all the red envelopes on the bed and counted out my loot. I took my time to take all the bills out, feel each one of them, take in the intoxicating smell of crisp new bills. I then return the money into the red envelopes, careful not to crease the bills. I remembered who gave me which red envelope by looking at the different design on each of them. This was important because later my mother needed to know who gave how much so that she could make sure to reciprocate next year. It’s amazing how she would remember the next year even though she did not take any notes when she was going through my red envelopes after Chinese New Year.

It was like a tacit agreement between us: She would grant me the pleasure of keeping the red envelopes and counting the money every night, and I would turn them all over when this was over.

Once I tried to stash away one of the red envelopes, and my mother asked coolly, “Aunt So-And-So did not give you a red envelope this year?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged with the studied casualness of a method actor, “I probably put it somewhere… Oh, yes, here it is.”

I never tried to fool her again.

Now in hindsight, as in right at this moment, I could have stashed away a hundred-dollar bill (40:1 Currency exchange rate, people, don’t get too excited) from at least some of the red envelopes. She would probably have never sensed anything wrong.

Nah. She would probably have caught me anyway.

Good times.

Being here by myself, I don’t really do anything special for Chinese New Year with my own kids. Although part of me felt guilty for sucking at bringing Chinese New Year magic to my children, some part of me felt this was merely nostalgiz playing an unfair trick. After all, according to everybody back home, Chinese New Year is not the way it was any more. Nowadays people take advantage of the 5-day holiday and travel abroad so you can hardly find anybody to visit during that week. Many overseas Chinese would also tell you that going back to Taiwan during Chinese New Year is the worst timing: your relatives and friends are probably out of the country, and most of the stores and restaurants are closed.

Perhaps because of its convenience, the tradition of giving children red envelopes remains, and it is the only Chinese New Year tradition I am consciously keeping. It was satisfying watching Mr. Monk’s eyes light up.

“You mean, you are just giving us this money?”

“Yup. This is Hong Bao. Red Envelope. It is for good luck.”

“Wow! You mean I get to keep the money inside?”

I wanted to say,  “And I am not taking it away from you when Chinese New Year is over.”

But it was late at night and this would entail a long story.

.

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Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson:  you find the present tense, but the past perfect!

— Owens Lee Pomeroy

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What do you know? Someone managed to kill my nostalgia for The Most Awesome Chinese Tradition aka Red Envelopes…

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The Chinese caption accompanying this picture says, "Kids, don't litter the envelopes otherwise the Monster, Year, will come after you!"

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Way to go rabid environmentalists for killing the happiness that comes with getting free money from every adult in your life!

42 thoughts on “Red Envelopes”

    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      $20 is not going to make any dent to that college fund. My kids are misers and the money is now somewhere in their rooms making as much interest as it would have been if we have deposited into a checking account. LOL

      Reply ↓
  5. Andrea

    My kids would be all over this. I doubt I’d remember though. We’re backlogged with allowance by about 4 months. Terrible on the follow through over here.

    I do so love hearing about your childhood and traditions and nostalgia though, truly! A very cool holiday.
    Andrea recently posted…Runaway Part IIMy Profile

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      The allowance for our oldest goes into a “virtual” account I set up in Quicken automatically every week. Mr. Monk insists on having actual cash and therefore yes we are always forgetting to give him his allowance.

      Reply ↓
  14. TechnoBabe

    Interesting to know that the red envelopes were the only gifts all year, no birthday gifts. I once attended a wedding that lasted from early in the morning till late into the night for a Vietnamese friend and she received red envelopes from each guest. Her sister stayed by me and interpreted the events for me throughout the day. It was awesome. You show the honesty you learned from your parents when you describe you did not withhold any of the money. Did your parents put the money in a savings account for you or did the money get absorbed into the household?
    TechnoBabe recently posted…Keeping Warm- BabyMy Profile

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      There was no savings account for me, the money was just absorbed. We were brainwashed since day one that we owe our parents to bring us up and to take such good care of us so there really was no arguing with them saying, Hey, you need to give me MY money back. To be fair, your parents are supposed to support you until you get a job or get married. Kind of a sweet deal eh?

      Reply ↓
  15. secret agent woman

    It would kill me to have the money taken back away! Especially once a kid is past the toy age, I think cash is the way to go. I have a sister who insists on giving gift cards to my kids. This year I told her they wanted cards from Target and then I bought them from the kids so they could have money to spend as they please.
    secret agent woman recently posted…The rollercoaster of healing- Part 2My Profile

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  17. dufmanno

    That is a red envelope MINOTAUR!!!!!!
    Imagine it galloping after you with a club when you litter? Magnificent deterrent.
    I spelled deterrrent wrong but I’ve got to keep moving so I can’t fix it.

    You have given me the best idea ever. I am going to have everyone give me cash in red envelopes. Then I’m going to throw them on my bed and strip down naked before rolling in them all night.
    That’s even better than sex.

    Actually, I might scrap this idea now because when I read it over I just sounded like a prostitute fufilling some John’s sick twister money rolling fantasy.
    sigh.
    Hookers ruin all my dreams.
    dufmanno recently posted…This Is The Speech I Want To Hear SomedayMy Profile

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  18. pattypunker

    loved this nostalgic story and love this quote: Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect! aint that the truth.

    ps: may all of your red envelopes be big and fat!
    pattypunker recently posted…voices in my headMy Profile

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