Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Cashews Are Nuts…

39 Replies

And so are YOU!*

* Tis said with love and affection and gratitude…

This post is a belated thank-yous to many of you who have bestowed me with love and support and honors.

Chris over @ Vintage Christine (whose subtitle “I’m not old, I’m vintage” has become my battle cry) sent me a surprise Valentine’s Day gift box.

It went down like this: her cat sat on a card with my name on. Cat nip, my friend. Cat nip.

Valentine's Day Surprise from Vintage Christine

Thank you, Chris, for the wonderful surprise! I would like to tell you that yours was the ONLY Valentine’s Day present I received. But, my lovely husband beat you to it by putting away the Christmas tree without me asking. (Truth be told: I almost got an orgasm when I came home on Valentine’s Day and saw the empty spot where the Christmas tree once was… He does know me very well. Probably too well for our own good…)

Andrea over @ A Little Bit Rock n Roll tagged me in January THIS YEAR to learn “10 things about me”. I am more than 10 kinds of crazy, that’s for sure, but I digress… The first thing you need to know about me is I WUV YOUR BLOG.

A Vapid Blonde @ A Vapid Blonde and Magda @ I’m Just Sayin’ both shared with me the “I LOVE YOUR BLOG” award that they themselves have deservedly won. Thank you, ladies! And, at the risk of sounding like a valley girl, I love you crazy women on the coasts. I do!

I LOVE YOU BAAACCCKKK!

To accept this award, apparently I also need to tell you something about me.

Elizabeth, or “Mrs. Darcy” as I like to secretly call her inside my head, @ The Sky Is Falling also shared with me her award, “THE CIRCLE OF FRIENDS”.

You complete me. Yes, all of you!

To accept this award, I have to tell you 5 things that I enjoy…  This is easy.

Sex

Sex

Sex

Sex

Sex

Well, usually that’s not how it goes down over here. So my second best choice would be:

A clean house. (Preferably not by me)

Shelli @ Shaking the Tree gave me a two-fer:

Thank you Shelli! I especially love the “50 Cents” award as I consider his story of rising from a drug-dealing youth to international renown to be rather inspiring.

Randa over @ Sometimes I Even Amaze Myself passed along a beautiful award… Thank you, Randa! Now I also need to tell you 7 interesting things about myself.


I am truly honored that y’all see enough in my irreverent ramblings to stop by my little piece of therapeutic heaven and actually listen to what I have to say, let alone sharing these awards with me. Thank you so much.

Seriously, guys. There really is not that much about me that’s exciting. Whatever I have, I have been letting loose here on this blog. Are you sure you are not bored already?! So after I have done my math and drawn up a Venn diagram, in order to follow all the rules, I will share with you 5 things that I enjoy and 5 more things about myself.

5 things I enjoy that may or may not be within my easy grasp, am obsessed with, and/or covet (in addition to sex and a clean house):

  • The ocean (or more accurately, staring at the ocean)
  • Toblerone
  • The smell of oncoming rain shower on a hot summer day
  • People watching (preferably in a sidewalk cafe, even better if in Paris…)
  • Bubble tea (No, Elly, it is NOT ok to mention “Pearl Necklace” to me when I am telling you how much I enjoy Pearl Bubble teas…)

5 things about me (in addition to me being Chinese and ALL THAT this tiny fact indicates…)

  • I am certifiable anal retentive. I cannot relax until the dishes are done, the floor has been picked up, and “things” have been put away. I have been known to wake up in the middle of the night to clean up the house. That being said, I only need everything to be off the floor. So what if I have 3 hampers of clothes waiting for me to fold? As long as the clothes stay inside the hampers, I am fine with it. I am a Hypocrite when it comes to housework, I guess.
  • I am obsessed with multi-tasking and efficiency when it comes to housework. I NEVER EVER walk through the house without picking up and putting away anything. I actually plan the next piece of dish I will wash as I am doing the dishes. It is hard to explain. You need to be there.
  • Things that have profound effect on me in my youth: Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Haruki Murakami’s Norwegian Wood, Wim Wenders’ Der Himmel über Berlin and Hermann Hesse’s Demian (Yes, I am Cliche Himself… Don’t judge…)
  • I have attempted suicide in high school. No. I really did not want to die.
  • I can make myself cry on demand. If we see each other, I can demonstrate for you. It’s really amazing.

(HOLD THE ORCHESTRA!)

As a reward for sitting through my lllloooonnnnggggg acceptance speech, I will present the

I GIVE GOOD BLOG award

The best name for a blog award. Hands down.

JennyMac over @ the immensely popular Let’s Have a Cocktail really surprised me when she presented me with this award last… ummm, eh, huh, hmmm, December… (I am very embarrassed… I got distracted by all your wonderful blogs. So stop judging me!)

Following the rules, I get to pass this award along to four wonderful blogs. This is rather difficult since I know way more than four blogs that deserve this award. I have been agonizing over this since last December and I am driving myself crazy over this! No wonder Simon Cowell is always so grouchy. The pressure. Ah, the pressure gets to you…

After making the heart-wrenching process called “drawing names from a hat” (since I do not have a cat like Chris does…), I shall pass this gorgeous, sexy award to the following four hot steamy sexy blogs:

A Little Bit Rock n Roll

Brilliant Sulk

BugginWord

The Sky Is Falling

As the rule for the award dictates, I shall go mix up a cocktail for myself and I hope you will be able to do the same. I hope too that you will be able to find time to visit these blogs mentioned above and I am pretty sure you will like what you find there.

Thank you again for the support you all have shown me. Knowing that you are out there really makes my Tron-like existence rewarding and ironically, my life in flesh more bearable.

39 thoughts on “Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Cashews Are Nuts…”

  2. Jen @ NathanRising

    OMG. My hubby took our tree down the first week of February- and I seriously thought we were the ONLY ones who still had a tree up that late!!

    And would the world not be a better place if everything was kept off the floor?? That’s one of my biggest gripes. We live in a teeny tiny little house with zero storage space, so some things things get left on the floor. And it drives me INSANE!

    BIG CONGRATS on all those awards!!!!

    -Jen
    .-= Jen @ NathanRising´s last blog…Mommy Brain =-.

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  3. Falling

    Aw, shucks. You deserve all these awards and more, and thank you for sharing factoids large and small with us. I want to go hug you in high school, have you live with me for a while in my immediate post-baby haze so you could get me organized, and don’t want you to look at my terribly pedestrian bookshelf, you with all the brains up there.

    Also, not that I’m not grateful for a steamy award, but I think my preschool-teaching, new-baby-having, always-yawning ass is about as far from sexy as you can get right now. I am basically neutered these days. HOTT!
    .-= Falling´s last blog…Life in the Big House =-.

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  5. Amanda@Brilliant Sulk

    Wow! You sure have racked up them awards there missy! Not sure why I just sounded like an inbred southerner who lives in an old tire…

    But congratulations to you, I love your blog! And to me. Yay! Thank you for reading my drivel.

    And please, when we meet at BlogHer I want you cry because you are so thrilled to meet me. Then you may go and clean up my hotel room. I’ll provide the vodka.
    .-= Amanda@Brilliant Sulk´s last blog…Yes, It’s Me =-.

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  7. Merrilymarylee

    Okay, the awards are nice but let’s get down to serious business. You are compulsively neat??? I could SO use some of that!

    If I ever need a blood transfusion, I’m calling you! Please tell me you’re A+!!!
    .-= Merrilymarylee´s last blog…Wal-Mart Wannabes =-.

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Just invite me to your house. LOL. Preferably when it is NOT snowing there. 😉

      I am B+… I didn’t realize that the % of people with Type B is low here in the Western Hemisphere! Awesome! But sorry. In this case, you definitely CANNOT use my blood.

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  9. Elly Lou

    Well hell. Obviously you don’t really want me to comment with all those momentous limitations you put on me. I’ll just wallow in the satisfaction that you KNOW what I WOULD say if I was a trouble maker. Which clearly I’m not. *pulls halo out of drawer, flicks off rotton remnants of bacon fat from the broquet disaster, and plops on head*

    Heh. I give good blog. Awww yeah.
    .-= Elly Lou´s last blog…Enough. With. The. Fucking. Snow. =-.

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  12. Robin

    I attempted suicide a few times in high school too. Did I really want to die? Hard to say, not die as much as I just didn’t want to be here or be myself, I still feel that way sometimes but I would never try that again as I know there is always good times to come around the corner and I don’t want to miss them.
    .-= Robin´s last blog…Marriage and Maturity =-.

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      I am glad that you are here as you are a beautiful soul. But I do know what you are talking about. Me too felt the desire to Not Be Here. And indeed, like you, I sometimes still feel the pull of it… No worries. It just means that I go down the down cycle. Good thing I (believe I) am bipolar so I always come back up again.

      Reply ↓
    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Thanks!

      p.s. You are supposed to pretend that you don’t know what it means… LOL. So… do you know what “happy ending” means? 😉

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  15. Shelli

    Clean and house are words that actually go together? Who knew!? (certainly not me!)

    Oh, and I also plan out my next dish that I’m gonna wash. So we’re weird. Who cares? 🙂

    Well deserved awards, my friend! 🙂
    .-= Shelli´s last blog…Hello Again! =-.

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  16. Randa

    I too can cry on demand! It worked to my benefit growing up and not wanting to clean my room, I can also give myself a stomach ache on demand too.
    You lost me on the anal retentive. I got yelled at the other night for leaving a package of oreo’s on the counter by Jesse…so I went and took out four glasses and put them on the counter, just to fuck with him. That’s what he gets. You would not like me so much. I’m the laziest person in the world. But not a dirty hoarder or anything, I just don’t hang my coat up or wash the dishes right when they get dirty.
    I love your blog, you are one of my blogging idols.
    .-= Randa´s last blog…UpDate On The “Burn” =-.

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      You are so mean! LOL. I once went to a movie before I was able to finish the dishes. Guess what I was thinking the whole time? I know. I need help.

      p.s. Thank you very much for the kind words. Thank you again for sharing your award with me.

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  17. Amber

    You are very deserving of all these awards!!

    I am in much agreement with you of what my favorite thing is….and so is my husband (thank goodness!!)

    I know what you mean about feeling the pressure of giving a blog award away, it is hard!! But, you made delightful choices!!
    .-= Amber´s last blog…He Wasn’t Planned, I Promise!! =-.

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Thanks! I hope I am deserving of the sex since there is so little to go around…

      LOL. 😉

      As for the pearl necklace reference… “Bubble tea” is basically tea shaken with big brown tapiocas and in Chinese, we call the big dark tapiocas “Pearls”… Don’t tell me I have to corrupt all you young innocent minds here by explaining to you the “special definition” for “pearl necklace”?! Ok. Read Elly’s post about “pearl necklaces” here. It’s actually quite G-rated.

      😉

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  19. Andrea

    You are very deserving of all the blog love (and also humble, may I say)! But your responses have created more questions from me. First, what is bubble tea? Second and huge, really really about suicide in high school? Ohmygoodness, I’m so glad it was unsuccessful and that you’re here to intrigue all of us bloggers!

    And HOLY SHIT. I have never won a blog award before. EVER. You just deflowered me. You get credit for being my first. That was fun — now I need a cigarette!

    Oh, and now the pressure of giving the award away. Eeek. 🙂 Thanks, lady!
    .-= Andrea´s last blog…"Bad romance" =-.

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Toblerone Lovers Unite! I once asked a Swiss, in the presence of a Belgian nonetheless, what he considered to be the best chocolate. Without any sarcasm, he said, “Why. Toblerone of course!” I was so surprised and of course psyched by his response. 🙂

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Ok, m’lady. “ASS” does not count as a swear word here! I know you can do better than this! LOL. 😉 Thank you though for the nice compliment. I have never been called a hot piece of ass. Actually, Mr. Monk told me about a dream he had the other day in which my “butt grew so big that it went out of the other room”… and then he told me I need to lose more weight than daddy. So, yeah, I come here to be forcefed with as many compliments I can get. Bring them on, my sweeties!

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      And I love YOU for noticing it! We have got to be twin sisters or something in our previous life. 😉

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