Now I have seen it all… Prove yourself to be a true bacon lover, get Bacon flavored Jelly Beans for this Valentine’s Day!
I love Bacon. But not this much… Bacon Flavored Jelly Beans?!
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Tag Archives: funny scary
NOT from the Onion, surprisingly: Russian analyst predicts USA to break up into 5 countries!
When you first read it in the Drudge Report on November 25, 2008, you probably wondered, "Did I click on the wrong URL? Is this The Onion?"
"RUSSIAN ANALYST PREDICTS DECLINE AND BREAKUP OF USA"
A leading Russian political analyst has said the economic turmoil in the United States has confirmed his long-held view that the country is heading for collapse, and will divide into separate parts.
Professor Igor Panarin said in an interview with the respected daily IZVESTIA published on Monday: "The dollar is not secured by anything. The country's foreign debt has grown like an avalanche, even though in the early 1980s there was no debt. By 1998, when I first made my prediction, it had exceeded $2 trillion. Now it is more than 11 trillion. This is a pyramid that can only collapse."
The paper said Panarin's dire predictions for the U.S. economy, initially made at an international conference in Australia 10 years ago at a time when the economy appeared strong, have been given more credence by this year's events….
He predicted that the U.S. will break up into six parts – the Pacific coast, with its growing Chinese population; the South, with its Hispanics; Texas, where independence movements are on the rise; the Atlantic coast, with its distinct and separate mentality; five of the poorer central states with their large Native American populations; and the northern states, where the influence from Canada is strong….
Somehow this piece of entertaining hypothesizing is picking up momentum and has graced the pages of "large" mainstream news outlets such as USA Today, MSNBC, and most notably the WSJ.
According to Panarin:
- The "California Republic," including the West Coast states of California, Oregon and Washington, as well as Nevada, Idaho, Utah and Arizona, that Panarin predicts will be part of China or under Chinese influence;
- "North Central America," including Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, North and South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan and Ohio, that Panarin predicts will be part of Canada or under Canadian influence;
- The "Atlantic America," including Kentucky, Tennessee, New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, the District of Columbia, Virginia, West Virginia, North and South Carolina, and all of New England, that Panarin predicts may join the EU;
- The "Texas Republic," including New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia and Florida, that Panarin predicts will be part of Mexico or under Mexican influence;
- The "Offshore U.S.," with Alaska going to Russia and Hawaii going to either Japan or China.
Thanks to the WSJ we also have a visual representation of the breakup.
I can see those who have spent so much money and efforts (and even risked their lives!) to come here and become US citizens become quite upset: what? You mean I could have just stayed where I was? And now you are telling me that I have to go back and be Canadian (or Chinese or Mexican)?
Note to self: consider moving, before the rush begins.
Here is a Christmas present idea: Joe the Plumber book!
I am never one to abandon people when they are down in their luck. I do genuinely worry about people who enjoyed their 15-minute of fan and then never to be heard/seen again. I want the follow-up news, the updates. I want to make sure that they were not thrown over the wall like a piece of used tissue. I want to know how they are doing, and I wish them well.
William Hung of the American Idol fan: did he go back to school? Did he graduate and get a job? Did he finally land a girlfriend?? Look at him! He’s all grown up and spruced up and look quite dashing now!
Bill and Jim, the twin brothers from the Biggest Loser: have they been able to keep the weight down, and are they still liking each other? How about their wives?
So, naturally, I thought about Joe the Plumber amidst the widespread euphoria over the election of Barack Obama. What happened to him? Anything exciting going on? Last I heard he was going into the studio to make a country music album. As luck would have it, I checked and there it is, updated merely 12 hours ago, the news that his book would be out on December 1!
See? He has not been forgotten. And I do hope that Republicans rally to buy Joe’s books since they sort of used him for their political purposes, and now it is payback time!
I also hope that Joe sells more copies of his book than the one that’s reportedly coming out by Sarah Palin. (Oh, truly, this has got to be the greatest week of 2008 for the American publishing industry!) At least Joe seems to need the extra income more than Miss Thing here. But I guess it really does not matter since they both received (or would) advanced payments at any rate.
And if I have to choose between Sarah’s book (May I call you Sarah?) and W’s book, I would have to say Sarah. After all that’s said about her, she is after all a working mom of five who is a Governor. No mean feat by any measure. I am sure she would have something to say and something to teach us about juggling demanding work and crazy family life. On the other hand, come to think of it, I am curious, and afraid, to find out what W has to say about himself for the past eight years!