Actually this year, the first day of school IS special:
My oldest will be going to junior high. THIS, is the first day of the rest of his life without his mama hovering over him…
Or at least that’s how it feels to ME. I am pretty sure from his perspective I am a pesky fly that won’t go away.
I could tell he was nervous because he woke up at 6:30 this morning without an alarm or me threatening to pour cold water on him. Well, that and the fact he said, “I am nervous.”
“I am nervous too, honey.” I said. “Ooops. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you that, huh? Probably didn’t help…”
Tentatively I suggested that I drive him to the bus stop because of “the huge heavy bag of school supplies” (and not because I wanted to be there on his first day as a 7th grader). He startled me with a brilliant smile, “AWESOME!”
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You can never be sure when they want to be treated like an adult, and when, a child.
Trial and error.
Today, when I thought that he would want to look cool and not be seen with his mom, he asked, “Are you going to bring your camera?”
“I wanted to but I was not going to because I assume you will be mortified?”
“Nah. I don’t care… Where is [younger brother]? Is he still asleep? I want him to say goodbye to me at the bus stop…”
Today is full of surprises. The two of them sometimes behave as if they were mortal enemies.
“Well, go wake him up then. Tell him that you are going to a different school from now on. That the two of you will never be in the same school again.”
When my oldest came downstairs again, I asked him whether his brother was going to the bus stop with us.
“Nah. He’s still asleep.”
“Oh. He didn’t want to wake up? What did you say to him?”
“Nah. I just said ‘I am going to junior high today’ and then I kissed him on his cheek.”
Today is indeed full of surprises.
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It is still possible that when he comes home from his first day in junior high this afternoon, I am blamed for ruining his life.
For taking pictures of him at the bus stop even though I tried to do it surreptitiously by hiding behind the neighbor’s big SUV.
For standing too close next to the neighbor who was chanting, “Junior High! Junior High!”
For laughing too loudly when she called out, “You guys are moving up in the world! Look, your bus has tinted windows!”
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For raising my hand and waving as the bus drove away. It’s a force of habit. I will try and remember to stop doing it.
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Two little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell down…
Now that his older brother is going to junior high, the quieter, less outgoing Mr. Monk will be for the first time by himself in the school. No more living under the shadows of his older brother. He will be known by his name, not a little brother, and definitely not “So and so’s brother”.
He looks all of a sudden so grown-up. His own person.
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This is so silly on my part since this is not the first “First Day of School” I have gone through. Yet I know many mothers are the same: We cannot help the tears coming out even as we laugh at ourselves.
When they turn around to wave goodbye as they step onto the bus…
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When you look at their anxious faces through the window…
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Something tugs at your heart.
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