Tag Archives: what do you know?

“They’re Made Out of Meat” by Terry Bisson – One of the best short stories found on the Interweb

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Here is how the story begins…

“They’re made out of meat.”

“Meat?”

“Meat. They’re made out of meat.”

“Meat?”

“There’s no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They’re completely meat.”

… … …

Please do continue to read the short story, “They’re Made Out Of Meat“, the original on Terry Bisson’s website

Of course I learned of this short story from one of the Tweets on my Twitter stream.  After I RTed it and stumbled it and emailed it to everybody that I know of who will get a kick out of this, it simply was not enough.

I truly feel it is our duty as Interweb citizens to share all the wonderful things available on the Net. (Yes, I admit.  I am a dork. Notice that I said, a dork, and not a geek.  As Geeks have now gained some sort of mythical status in our pop culture.  They are the cool dorks, with potential to make millions…)

So here it is: my meager attempt to do my part. To let as many people know as possible of this great, humorous, thought-provoking, piece of science fiction.  It will make you laugh, and it may also make you think about our existence in this dark, cold, lonely universe…

Now I am off to read more about the science fiction writer, Terry Bisson.

Posted via web from The Absence of Alternatives

Announcing my new project: Bacon-flavored Vodka…

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Apparently Pork-flavored Vodka is gaining some traction now in the Northeast, originated from Seattle, more specifically, the Seattle-based Black Rock Spirits.  According to this online article, Bacon-Flavored Vodka: What’s Next? Eggs Bourbon? , BAKON, the vodka with an oink in it, is getting some dedicated followers because people just love bacon.

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Thanks to the same article, a recipe for a home-made concoction to spice up your Vodka and martini with bacon is also available:

“Add cooked bacon to a clean pint sized mason jar. Trim the ends of the bacon if they are too tall to fit. Or you can just throw in a bunch of fried up bacon scraps. Crushed black peppercorns can be added for a real zing, but check your zinger scale of tolerance first.

Fill the jar up with vodka. Cap and place in a dark cupboard for at least three weeks. Then place the bacon vodka in the freezer to solidify the fats. Contact local authorities to be on hand before opening and then strain out the fats through a coffee filter. The yield should be clear, pale yellow bacon vodka. (If it is any other color, check with health officials.) Decant into decorative bottles and enjoy.”

I am PUMPED!  I think I owe it to myself to experiment on this.  Here is my shopping list (which of course I tweeted, that’s what Twitter is for, no?):

  1. Cheap vodka
  2. Bacon
  3. Mason jar
  4. Tarp
  5. Waders
  6. Safety goggles

A very funny @Andjelija suggested that I check out prices for my  supplies at Walmart, and take pictures while I am at it.

I will blog my experiment, so stay tuned…

*pouring Vodka*

Here’s to a successful experiment!

And to me not getting punched while taking pictures of people at Walmart!

And also to no pictures of me getting submitted to peopleofwalmart.com!

People in Germany need to have more sex. Or keep their clunkers. According to the Economist. Well, kind of.

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People in Germany really need to start having more sex.

Otherwise they are really going to need Death Panel for Grandmas, you know, when there are no more young people to take care of the old people.

That was my first thought when I saw this chart.

On second thought, sex does not necessarily lead to pregnancy, unless you are having it in the back of your parents’ car. Or your very first beat-up old clunker. Even better if you are drunk.

So my revised word of advice:

Germans need to have more drunken sex in the back of their parents’ car, or get more clunkers.

Then I saw this other chart, comparing government sponsored “Cash for Clunkers” programs in several countries:

.

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Hold on a second, while I take a mental note…

Note to self: Great cocktail conversation tidbit – “Do you know the U.S. is not the only one, and definitely not the first one, to come up with the ‘Cash for Clunkers’ program?”

Note to self, again: Scratch that. Someone is bound to say, “Exactly. Those are all socialist, or Facist, countries, or whatever, European! countries. That’s why we should object to it loudly. Preferrably bring a loaded handgun with you to town hall meetings.” And then the cocktail party, if I were ever invited to one, would go downhill from there… So, NOT A GOOD IDEA! Ok. Fine! Scratch the entire Note to Self 1.

When I saw this second chart about Cash for Clunkers program in other countries,

Eureka! I thought.

See how the government in Germany spent $7.1 billion on their “Get Rid of Clunker” program?

There you go, my friend. That is why the birth rate in Germany remains the lowest.

I finally saw it with my own eyes! Sound machine inside public toilet to mask the embarrassing noise…

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I have heard about this along time ago: Japanese women often flush the toilet as soon as they enter the stall to mask the embarrassing noise people naturally make when in the bathroom. This act of civility turned out to waste a lot of water resource. At first, they tried sound machines with music, etc., but still did not see significant reduction in water usage. Finally someone (or some company) came up with the idea of duplicating the sound of toilet flushing. This time, success.
I have always wanted to see one and after so many years, finally saw one in the luxurious restroom at the Takashimaya Department Store in Taipei (which also has the bidet-toilet seat…)
I only took a picture of it (while fully clothed mind you!! Was just there to take the picture…)  But someone actually videotaped it here on Boing Boing. Glad to know I was not the only one fascinated by this thing.

From The Economist: It’s not 42. It’s 148. The magic number for social networks.

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Even on the Interweb, we cannot escape our evolutionary past. According to The Economist article: “Primates on Facebook”, some of things that we do to/for each other on the social networks over the Internet can still be defined as “Grooming”: you need to ping your peeps, follow up on their status, read their Tweets, comment on their Tweets, reply to their Wall because they have left something on yours. These all take time. So does monkeys’ grooming each other.

A while back ago, Dr. Robin Dunbar concluded that our brains simply cannot support a social network with unlimited size: think of having to memorize all the names! Probably only Mr. Monk will be able to do that, but of course, he probably has the tiniest social network known to man… Irony, isn’t it? Anyway, Dr. Dunbar suggested that the magic number of network limit any animal will be able to maintain is: 148.

Even though in the virtual world, it seems that we can grow our social networks indefinitely, to a certain extent obviously (say, like, 6 billion, the number of entire population…), the average number of “Friends” on Facebook turns out to be 120. And the number of Friends with which Facebookers interact with on a regular basis by leaving comments on their “Wall” is even smaller: 7. That’s it. For men. Women are more social, 10.

Even for Facebookers that have more than 500 friends, the number remains relatively low at 17 for men, and 26 for women.

Here is a nice way of explaining this:

“[P]eople who are members of online social networks are not so much ‘networking’ as they are ‘broadcasting their lives to an outer tier of acquaintances who aren’t necessarily inside the Dunbar circle’… Humans may be advertising themselves more efficiently. But they still have the same small circles of intimacy as ever.”

This also concisely explains what a “social network” such as Twitter represents for a lot of its users, or Tweeple, as they call themselves. Only that it is even beyond the “outer tier of acquaintances”, all the way into the nether.

I am intrigued. Wouldn’t you? How one employee single-handedly MAKE the hotel…

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This has just come to my attention that the number 1 rated hotel in Beijing is… Drum roll please…

A frigging Holiday Inn!

Yes, they do have true 5 star hotels in Beijing.

Granted Holiday Inns do get a worse rep in the U.S. than in many other places around the world. Don’t think it is because we are more pampered here: it is true that Holiday Inns outside of the U.S. seem to be a bit more than meeting your daily bare necessities. But, Number 1 out of 1,168 hotels reviewed on TripAdvisor??!!

Apparently, it is also the Winner of Traveler’s Choice for Best Bargain/Best In Top 25 Cities.

Morevoer, the spread of the ratings are quite convincing: of 165 reviews, 127 rated the hotel as a 5 overall, 28 – 4, 5 – 3, and 5 – 2. Not too shabby. So there does not seem to be any major argument against this hotel’s #1 standing.

But still, a Holiday Inn? So naturally, I am intrigued. Wouldn’t you? Especially since many, and I mean MANY, of the reviews specifically mentioned the one employee, Storm, in their titles. This Storm is the most famous in Beijing next to Sand Storm, as far as Western tourists are concerned, it seems. And he is much much much beloved. Some choice examples of the review titles: “Loved Storm”, “One word: Storm”, “Storm makes it great”, “Wonderful Hotel, Wonderful Storm”… You get the idea. Even some travel blogs gave Storm honorable mentions. This one employee basically single-handedly made the Holiday Inn Central Plaza in Beijing a gem, stand out amongst all the other similar surrounding hotels. (Sort of like how HoJo Annheim has become a legend and best-kept secret amongst all the Disneyland aficionados…) Storm has taken on almost a legendary status judging by the reviews I had time to go through. It is amazing what this guy would go through in the name of Customer Service.

Unfortunately, I cannot find a picture of him online. Is he even real? Maybe this is one of the biggest Internet hoaxes: that Storm is actually a fictional character? Maybe Holiday Inn Beijing has employed many Customer Service “handlers of white people” and they all call themselves Storm? Somebody needs to profile this man named Storm! I need to know that he has been recognized and appreciated for all those extra steps (literally in many stories) that he took for the guests staying at the hotel. Somebody needs to call InterContinental Hotels Group and confirm that they do take notice of the employee who was cited as THE best feature of the hotel.

Barring the not-yet-written profile/interview, I wonder whether I need to travel to Beijing so I can confirm that Storm is not a high-tech robot designed to carry out the most mind-boggling, highest standard, Customer Service, ever experienced by Western tourists.

The Lipstick Index: Myth Busted?

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The first time I heard about the Lipstick Index was from a Mary Kay rep: I learned from her that the three recession-proof products are lipsticks, alcohol, and cigarettes. It is not difficult to understand why alcohol and cigarettes are recession-proof: if you are addicted to something, you are going to get your drink on, in good times or hard times. (The same can be said of drugs and “purchased sex”, then? I imagine a flat line across the chart for these addictions?)

Above is the Daily Chart from The Economist on January 23, 2009, comparing national GDP to lipstick sales from 1989 to 2007.

The term Lipstick Index was coined by Leonard Lauder, the chairman of Estée Lauder, in 2001 during the recession. Lipstick sales in the US jumped by 11% in the 3rd quarter, (and more excitingly for the would-be theorists, the sales increased 25% for cosmetics during the Depression). The common theory states that lipsticks is a relatively inexpensive luxury for women with tighter purse strings. But statistics shown here does not show an obvious trend to prove this theory.

In my view, there will always be people who can purchase luxury goods when the rest of us are forced to “eat cake”. The retail anecdotes for this past Christmas season tells an interesting story: when stores were saddled with unsold inventories, 3 (relatively) big-ticket items were hot hot hot, couldn’t keep them on the shelves: Nintendo Wii, Uggs Boots, and Amazon’s Kindle.

Go figure!

Now if anyone could explain to me the attractions of those Uggs Boots…

Heard on NPR: Blago, No Unemployment For You!

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Many of us heard on TV or radio or read in the newspaper or blogs how the Former Illinois Governor Blagojevich likes to compare himself to all sorts of famous people. “Famous” not “Infamous”, that’s the operative word here. Anyway, he’s compared himself to Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., he’s compared his own surprise arrest by the Feds to the Pearl Harbor. One wonders: when is he going to compare himself to Jesus Christ? If you are talking about persecution, how can you forget about the story of Jesus Christ? After his impeachment was passed 59 to 0, he came home from his media tour in NYC, stood outside of his house, out of work, and compared himself to the “tens of thousands of people all across America, just like me who are losing there jobs or lost their jobs.”

I am sure I was not the only one that wondered upon hearing this, Are we going to see him lining up in the unemployment office now? And, is being impeached, the same as being fired? Which would disqualify a person from receiving any unemployment checks. Being impeached is like getting fired in public, with millions of people watching your boss slapping down that pink slip on your desk and the company security guards escorting you out of the door. Right?

Thank goodness that NPR delivered the good news that eased my mind: No, you will not see Blago in the unemployment office any time soon, he is not eligible. But not because he is impeached (or fired), but because “Elected officials throughout Illinois, the wages that they earn in those capacities do not count towards unemployment insurance. [They] don’t put money into the unemployment system, so they don’t qualify benefits.”

Note to self: Do not run for public offices and expect to collect unemployment checks. And if elected, try and not get fired.