7 Year Old: Mom, what’s the yoky part of the egg?
Me: You mean the Yolk?
7 Year Old: No, I mean, which part does the baby chick come from?
Me: Ok, honey, the eggs you are eating? These are not the kind that baby chicks come from.
7 Year Old: Why?
Me: These are eggs that have not been… (Oh fuck!) Sigh. Ok. You know how in order to make a baby? … You need a mommy and a daddy together to make a baby? Well, the eggs you are eating only came from the mommy hen. There is no daddy involved.
7 Year Old: How come there are single mommies with children?
Me: *Inserting foot in mouth* There are daddies. It’s just that the daddy for some reason is not living with them any more…
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.
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Hind sight is 20-20. Why did I go into unnecessary details? I was all of a sudden caught in a panic that he might decide to not eat eggs due to the baby chick situation, he who only eats 5 kinds of food. I needed to reassure him that he’s not endangering any baby chics by eating eggs. I could not run the risk of eggs being off the menu.
Up next: Why honey was almost off the list.
That was the first big smile I had all day.
Thank you. Hilarious. I go into overdetail mode, too.
LOVE your blog. Lots of wonderful writing here.
I will never forget the day I cracked open an egg and saw a tiny fetal bird. And yelled “Oh my God!” causing the kids to rush over and look in the pan. Yeah, we had to talk about that traumatic scene for a while.
.-= secret agent woman´s last blog…May Day metaphor. =-.
Turns out I would be the perfect person for a kid to ask about the yolk – I had no idea of the real answer! I just thought the eggs we eat are the ones that don’t have chickens in them (and totally gross on cracking open an egg from Whole Foods and finding one in the frying pan!)
.-= Linda at Bar Mitzvahzilla´s last blog…A Pintele Yid =-.
Your comment and Miss B’s convince me not to get eggs from Whole Foods!
This brings to mind a post I’ve been meaning to write about eggs and how stupid I am.
Can’t wait to read it and no you are not stupid! I’m still amazed by fax machines. To me, they are like magic.
At least you didn’t have to explain how Momma hens have only one exit shute….gross, just gross.
I am sorry for this commet.
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog…Why I have the Ultimate Shiv =-.
LOL! No, you are not. 😉 Nor did you need to be!
NO. You didn’t need to be sorry. LOL. Tis true. Can’t lie to your kids, right?
I feel for you. My husband had a hard enough time trying to explain yolks to me.
.-= Robin´s last blog…I’m Here, Isn’t That Enough? =-.
I need to know what he tells you!
subWOW, I had the same discussion last week. Because our kids aren’t satisfied with smug mother answers like “the yellow part.” I skipped the mom and dad bit and said that eggs turn into chicks when they’re fertile, but that unfertile eggs are the kind for eating. I emphasized that unfertile means not able to make a baby. The eggs we eat can’t make a chick.
Cuz they’re hatching eggs at the preschool, yo, and I don’t need him boycotting eggs, either.
Hang tough, mama. You gave the right answer. So what if he’s going to need to ask really soon how the chicks with two moms get fertile eggs…
LOL! There’s this movie coming out soon about 2 moms raising a girl. I am looking forward to it. Really.
Did you know that they sell fertilized eggs at Whole Foods? Right there with the regular eggs, where anyone could accidentally buy them. (note: I have never made this mistake, but it _is_ possible) Could you maybe explain to me why on earth anyone would want to buy fertilized eggs???
Because…ick. Ick ick ick.
Also, when I was in 4th grade I spent at least 20 minutes one day in class trying to get my teacher to explain to me exactly what numbers are. Not in the context of “This is one fork, those are two forks” but in the sense of “What the hell is _one_ or _two_, without an object to give it contextual value?” Except I couldn’t put the question quite so clearly. Also, I now understand a little bit why my 4th grade teacher hated me so much. (Also also, I still to this day do not understand numbers at all.)
.-= Miss B´s last blog…A Private Aside To A Stranger In Provence =-.
You know, I don’t blame you. It’s entirely arbitrary, numbers are. Imagine if we have stuck with some other system that counts by 3 but not 10… My head. Ouch my head!
I have so overcomplicated things for my kids, too. Yesterday, I went into a whole discussion on gay marriage and the injustice because my son offhandedly mentioned marrying his friend Jake. Next time, I’ll just nod.
This is why I *heart* you.
Ahahahahahaha. My kid is 11 and still is kinda picky. Aren’t kids great.
.-= mepsipax´s last blog…Yesterday and Homestar =-.
Yes. To (mis)quote Aunt Becky, they are fucking great! 😉
Fucking kids are too fucking smart.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog…Aunt Becky, The Lost Years =-.
YES! Need to watch them like hawk!!
Yep, “yolk” or “the fat part” would have been good answers, but we’d have missed a great story.
That little mind never slows down, does it! (His, I mean. 🙂 )
.-= Mary Lee´s last blog…UnSTELLAr Behavior =-.
You didn’t have to point it out. LOL. Like today when my husb said, Sweetie. Then he said, oh I was talking to Younger Son, I said, Isn’t it sad I didn’t even assume it’s me?
😉
I’m a wee bit nervous to learn about what you’re doing with baby chicks and honey. Did you get inspired after researching Richard Gere?
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog…Ear Worm of DOOM =-.
I still have no clue what Richard Gere’s significance in pop culture is. I need to figure this out in order to become 100% American.
That’s quite the little critical thinker you have, there. Better keep that mind razor-sharp, Mama. You’re going to need it!
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog…Spring Libations: Pear Sparkler =-.
Tell me about it. Sometimes I just hide in the bathroom…
Tough questions. And you have not time to rehearse.
.-= Technobabe´s last blog…The First Mow Of The Year =-.
Exactly! Where is the script?! 😉
So unfertilized eggs come from Philadelphia. Got it.
Best. Comment. Ever.
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog…Ear Worm of DOOM =-.
LOL
This is hilarious. I don’t know if I know enough about the animal kingdom and their procreation habits to explain it to my kid, unfortunately. So I’d have probably made something totally random up. But I understand your concern about him only eating five food items–we’re in the same boat around here.
His liking eggs is one of my few bragging rights when it comes to eating. I was sweating when he brought up baby chics!
The correct answer to “Mom, what’s the yoky part of the egg?” should have been>>>
the yellow part.
End of story 😉
Best advice I ever got from my mom when my kids began asking questions was to give them the simplest answer- kinda like if they ask where they came from…instead of opening THAT whole can of worms and doing a sex ed discussion.. you say “we’re from Philadelphia” (or where ever you live). If they want to know more specific information they WILL ask.
.-= Barb´s last blog…Happy Birthday Jenny =-.
My oldest can be a lawyer. My youngest traps me with inconspicuous questions such as this. He reminds me of Columbo (Peter Falk) sometimes.
He is obviously a smart one. You better start thinking ahead.
.-= Maureen@IslandRoar´s last blog…I’m Back! =-.
Yup. Note to self: Start taking Ginkgo…