Yet another interesting conversation with my 8-year-old that makes me worry…
[In the car]
Mr. Monk: Mom?
Me [Distracted by This American Life on NPR]: Huh?
Mr. Monk: What’s the drug that starts with an M?
Me [Paying attention now]: Eh… You mean Methamphetamine? [Crap! How did he know about Meth?!]
Mr. Monk: You know what I think? [He IS the King of Non Sequitur] I think that the best way to get rid of an addiction is to have another one.
Me [Trying hard not to freak out. Deep breath]: Eh… Where did you hear that? Who told you that?
Mr. Monk: Nobody. I came up with this theory on my own. Let’s say you want to quit smoking, won’t the best way to quit smoking is to become addicted to some other drugs?
Me: Ok. It does not work that way, honey. Addictions don’t work like that. You are going to end up addicted to BOTH cigarettes and whatever drugs, and that would be really really really bad.
Mr. Monk: Oh. But wouldn’t it be better if you are addicted to cigarettes if you have to choose?
Me: Ok. Let’s say some crazy god comes down from heaven and says to you, “Thou shall choose an addiction!” Then yes, hypothetically speaking, you should choose cigarettes. Or if someone sticks a gun to your head and make you choose. Then yes, go for the cigarettes.
Mr. Monk: Yeah. Because cigarettes will cut your life short but drugs will ruin your life completely.
Me [Kind of relieved]: Well, I sure hope you never get yourself into a crazy situation where you are forced to choose! Ha ha.
Mr. Monk: Then why do they have Marijuana added gum at Walgreens for helping people quit smoking?
Me [So this is where the FIRST question came from. M is for marijuana. I should feel better about this. But… WILL THIS NEVER END?! And what was the last time we were at Walgreens? Wasn’t it a week ago?!]: What? WHAT?! Oh I am pretty sure you saw it wrong. First of all, it is illegal to sell marijuana. [Yes yes, I omitted the whole exception for medicinal use. But I think I deserved a pass here since I was trying hard not to crash the car!] I don’t think Walgreens would sell some gum with marijuana in it. You must have read the label wrong.
Mr. Monk: Yeah, you are probably right.
[Silence]
Mr. Monk: Mom?
Me [Holding my breath]: Y–E–S?
Mr. Monk: What does CVS stand for?
My son. Champion Player of Free Association.
What a kid! Sorry, but he sounds brilliant, don’t you think? I mean, this kid really thinks about things–this may help defeat potential additctions in the future or drive him to them. I don’t know which!
Kathy
Mr. Monk should have been at the table for the debt ceiling negotiations. He would have been exactly what they needed.
Conversation with kids can be memorable. They have a unique, fresh perspective on the world.
Awesome.
Velva
I had a young patient with a similar theory. I had been talking with her about not smoking pot all the time so she switched to cocaine!
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry! What nightmares are made of for parents everywhere…
It’s good he talks to you about these things, even if they do induce an aneurysm.
You are right. They do say you need to talk to kids about drugs. But at the age of 8? Sigh.
Cool Vampires Suck. Right?
Love the brevity of this.
Oh that’s too funny. Reminds me of my 9 year old sometimes. High five to you on handling that one. I would say ya did well. 🙂
Thanks for the moral support! 🙂
Mr. Monk is the healthiest 8 year old I ever heard of. I’d like to borrow him about twice a year for an afternoon, now that I have so much free time.
I hope you have the energy to engage in non-stop Questioning. 🙂