This is the second part of a rare Double Feature, in celebration of Mother’s Day.
No, my dear readers, Chef Ping’s was sadly not on my itinerary… Not that I haven’t tried though. I decided at around 4 pm that yes, we are going to go to Chef Ping’s because It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to. We didn’t manage to get out the door until 5 pm because my kids kept on saying, “Ok. Mom. Ok. Just until I finish this episode, this game, this chat…”
We drove to Chef Ping’s, not without a passionate discussion on WHY. The wait was to be 30 minutes.
My dear readers, I lied in my previous post when I said “No expectations. No disappointment.” Apparently though I had no expectations for my children to behave differently from any other day, I did expect to be able to go to my favorite Chinese restaurant at 5 pm on a Sunday! I was devastated.
I forgot that today is Mother’s Day aka The Bane of My Existence.
Choking back tears that surprised even myself, I resigned, “Let’s just go home. I will make you guys food, and I will have ramen noodles.”
“Mom. Let’s just go to some other restaurant! Because now you are just guilt tripping us!” My 12-year-old said with keen perception.
I kept an eerie silence as I drove aimlessly home. But not before I yelled at the boys for the 258th time to please shut their mouths if they could not stop bickering. The passive aggression was so thick inside the car I could practically lick it.
But I did still need to feed them. Taco Bell! A 90-degree emergency left turn brought me to the drive-through window.
“Do you want any sauce with that?”
“Yes. Medium and mild please.”
“Ok. Mild and Hot. Here you go. Happy Mother’s Day!”
“Wow. That lady’s hearing was not very good.” My 12-year-old made another keen observation.
” *sigh* I am too tired to correct her. Sometimes I am so tired of living here.”
“Do you prefer to live in Taiwan?”
“To be honest with you, I don’t know what it is like to live in Taiwan. I have never had ‘lived’ in Taiwan for real… I don’t know. I was going to school, living with my parents, then I came here. I don’t think I know what it is like to live in Taiwan… It is confusing. I don’t know.”
“Yeah. It is confusing alright… Do you remember when you were a kid?”
“Yes. I do of course.”
“I don’t want to grow up.” My 12-year-old concluded after a pause.
“I hear you, honey.” Strike one, mom. Way to motivate your child!
“Being a grown-up sucks!” Interjected my 7-year-old.
“Being a grown-up is 99% of your life!” His older brother admonished him.
“Mom. Doesn’t being a grown-up suck?” My 7-year-old continued.
“Huh? Oh, yeah. I think the sucky part of being a grown-up is mainly associated with being a parent…” Strike two. Good job, mom.
“HEY! Your life is going to be so boring and miserable if you didn’t have us!” My 12-year-old protested.
“Ha ha. You are right honey.”
“Have you ever wished that you didn’t have children?” My youngest pursued.
Beat.
Beat.
Beat.
I could not bring myself to answer this question. Strike three, mom. Let’s hope they turn out to be writers so they can use this episode in a positive way.
“I am sure she did when we really really pissed her off!”
So here I am. Making three different kinds of ramen noodles. But not before we went to Blockbuster, my youngest had a meltdown because he absolutely had to watch The Karate Kid III TODAY and his brother absolutely did NOT want to watch it, and my oldest and I had a passionate discussion on why we couldn’t rent Ninja Assassin…
Hate, hate, hate Mother’s Day. Hate all days that come with expectations that make me feel like I’m the only one who can f— up Christmas and New Year’s and Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day and all such bullshit.
Can I tell you that you are clearly a great human and terrific mom, because if my kid said I was guilt tripping him for abandoning all hope of feeling special on Mother’s Day, I would kick him square in the face and out of the car.
You still fed yours. So thumbs up to you! 😉
Holy crap, this made me laugh. Especially the “mommy strikes.” I am glad that my kids don’t understand what I’m saying. At least I hope they don’t understand what I’m saying because that could be a real tragedy.
.-= Amber´s last blog…That Was Love =-.
Kids are fun- never know what you are going to get. I finally lost it and broke the coffee table. For a week now I have been treated to ongoing commentary about that. Mostly questions like, “do you think that you could kick down the door, and if so, how big?” Or “you can’t lock dad in jail because he’d break down the door.”
Ah yes, the joy of a 9 year old comedian.
.-= Jack´s last blog…They Have What I Want =-.
LOL. Did you write a post about breaking the coffee table?! If you haven’t, you are wasting major blog material!!!
I know they’re a handful, but your kids crack me up. I love that they are positive that your life would be soooooo boring without them. 🙂
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog…Veg-Head Monday: Zucchini Stuffed Tomatoes =-.
Well, he’s right. LOL. Sitting on the beach reading a book can be quite boring…
Dude. Taco Bell = not cool. You need to guilt trip their asses into CHINESE THIS FRIDAY!!!!
😉
hang in there, mama!
xo
.-= marymac´s last blog…Cougar Crushes =-.
MARY!!!!!!!! LOL @ Cougar Crushes. Luckily I didn’t order Taco Bell for myself hence the ramen noodles. I ate 3 different kinds that night! I am going to hire a babysitter so I can go out and enjoy myself one of these days!!!
Here’s some optimism for you, Bad Mommy: one of the outcomes of being yourself with your boys is that they may just grow up to adore you.
Mine (the only boy, his sister being a girl) is getting married in two weeks. He calls often to talk with his Dad about power tools and whatnot and me, about the important things.He called to say he and his Cohabitating Bride-to-be had a huge fight and he wonders if he can come home. They live in his house, in his town, where he owns his own business, but she’s running him off with her Bridezilla meltdown. He feels absolutely free to tell me anything, whether I want to know it or not, because I was less than circumspect as a mother. I think he figures I’d never be able to judge him because there’s always something I’ve done that was worse and he can blackmail me with it. Makes for incredible closeness between Mother and Son. He’s a real sweetheart.
See? You’re doing a fabulous job!
.-= Nance´s last blog…Poisoning Pigeons In The Park =-.
Thank you!!! Now I feel there is hope for me and my children yet. 🙂
Ha ha ha ha. Oh, how well I know.
.-= secret agent woman´s last blog…Garden work. =-.
“I could practically lick it.” You have no idea how long I’ve waited to see you write that line.
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog…City Strolling =-.
So you don’t mind the negating power of the word “practically”? 😉
Don’t feel bad, Drama Queen was out of town for the weekend. When she called to say she was back in town and if I wanted to see her and let her go to the movie with us (we were going to see Iron Man II) then I could come and pick her up right away, she caught me at a very bad moment, ie. in the middle of a huge blowup with He. My response was, “I think I can wait.”
After the fight was over, I realized that I had been a total biatch to her, called her back and she said,”No, it’s cool, I was really just wanting to see the movie, so we are going to go see it then I will be home later.” Yeah, last time I will feel bad. On a positive note, I am raising a very honest kid. *shrug*
.-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog…The Love List…Because I Love Lists =-.
Ah. So THAT’S why they’re cute up until they learn how to talk. I better relish the time I have with my toddler now.
Hey at least Mother’s Day is mostly over. And then there’s MONDAY to look forward to. How about that, a week of double delight!
.-= Justine´s last blog…One two three four =-.