WTF Wednesday: So you think you are being a good Samaritan…

Hello, there. I thought I’d resurface with an installment of WTF Wednesday. I hope this serves as a nice counter balance to the holly jolly Christmas cheer, as manifested by the non-stop Christmas music ringing in your ears, that’s making you, even though you don’t want to admit it, a little bit dizzy. Or maybe even stabby.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving surrounded by people who love you and whom you love. I hope that you have finished all the left-over in the fridge or at least the pies that you left outside in a Tupperware container because there was no space in your fridge. I hope you now finally have space in your fridge for the more important things in life. I mean, beer, white wine, Franzie, etc. of course. I hope that you have by now managed to feel less bloated so you can fully enjoy the said beverages without other stuff such as meat and stuffings in the way.

I received an email from our local food pantry today: “There has been a tremendous response to the call for food donation. As a result, the food pantry is inundated with donations and is in great need for help to sort all the food in order to stock the pantry.”

You ask: How hard is it to just stick the cans and boxes onto the shelves? And why is it such an emergency?

Basically, the shelves are empty because all of the food is on the floor of the sorting room waiting to be processed.

The food needs to be processed before they can be put on the shelves because people are crazy.

Yup. You heard me.

Some people must think that poor people will eat just about anything. You know, as the saying goes: Beggars can’t be choosers? So they bring in everything from their pantry that they do not want and yet cannot bring themselves to throw away.

Rusty jars. Torn packages. Dog food mixed with a box of people food.

The volunteers have to open up every single jar of peanut butter because somehow people love to donate half-eaten jars. My son found two today. And it’s his first time there. Bingo!

And you know what? Stop buying green beans. It seems that what most people do is buy green beans, leave them on the shelf at home, and then donate them whenever there is a food drive. Come on. If you don’t like green beans, don’t buy them, because chances are the poor people and their poor children do not like them either.

Most of the time is spent on inspecting the expiration dates. Here is my plea to the FDA or whatever government agency in charge of this: Please dictate a date format and a set of standard locations for putting the expiration dates on food packages. Really. Go into your own pantry and time how long it takes you to find the expiration date for everything in there and to decipher the alphanumeric string.

The oldest expiration date I saw today? 2006.

2.0.0.6.

That’s like, oh I don’t know, half a decade ago. A baby has grown up enough to enter Kindergarten during all those years when that can was sitting inside your house post-expiration.

(Blogger’s Note: I went back again today and won the top prize:  A can with the expiration date of 2002. Apparently though even that is not the oldest the regular volunteers have seen there.)

Being Chinese, I understand the inability to throw away food. I really do. Heck, the folk tale tradition tells us that one of the main responsibilities of the God of Thunder is to strike people who waste food. You throw away food, you get smitten to death.

However, let’s think about this: These people are already unable to afford basic meals. Hello? That’s why they come to the food pantry in the first place. What do you think will happen when they eat your shitty food and become ill? It’s much worse than if you have not tried to help.

So here is the shocker: the expired food does get identified and thrown away. Oh yes. Don’t think you can sneak one in: Oh, maybe they won’t notice… so you don’t feel bad about wasting food. Any time the volunteer spends on reading that expiration date is time not spent on stocking food on the pantry shelves for families in need of help.

 

I can totally see Fox News headline: SHOCKING REVELATION ABOUT POOR PEOPLE IN AMERICA!

Megyn Kelly: Poor people not really poor. They refuse to accept expired canned goods!

Bill O’Reilly: I remember in the good ol’ days when there were only good ol’ hard-working American people in this country, we ate expired food all the time and we grew up fine. It’s all those Liberal’s fault: putting such a Socialist idea into the poor’s heads that they should say NO to a perfectly good ol’ can of green beans with an expiration date of 2010.

42 thoughts on “WTF Wednesday: So you think you are being a good Samaritan…

  1. Mary Lee

    Half-eaten jars of peanut butter? (shudder)

    Heard a food pantry worker call in to comment on an NPR show yesterday. She said that she was supposed to cut people off after a year, but she KNEW these people were out looking for work… there were simply no jobs to be had.

    COMPLETE DISCONNECT with what you hear going on in Congress, isn’t it.

    Reply
  2. Ameena

    I’m not going to lie…I actually really like Megyn Kelly. I hope we can still be friends….

    As an Indian I totally get the need to save food. I fear throwing food out thanks to my upbringing! But I think it’s sad that people are willing to pawn off food to the needy that they wouldn’t eat themselves.

    Reply
  3. Pearl

    I’m never getting rid of my can of pumpkin, am I? 🙂

    Truthfully, I tend to donate toiletries. I’ve been poor enough to swipe toilet paper from gas stations (but never the last one! I never took the last roll!) and I know how hard it is to have to decide between milk and TP.

    Pearl
    Pearl recently posted…When a Cat Leaves You a Present, DeclineMy Profile

    Reply
  4. Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

    I volunteered at a food pantry once and was SHOCKED at the shitty crap that people donate. While you’re not buying green beans anymore, go ahead and don’t ever send anyone one of those gift baskets of food. Little packages of four cookies, weird-flavored spreads, and water crackers are filling up food banks and even people who are starving to death don’t want them.

    I’m so glad you wrote about this. I had been meaning to write a blog about my experience volunteering at that food pantry and forgot who bizarre it was until I read this. 🙂

    Reply
  5. Irene

    I know I have some expired canned foods in the WAAAY back of my pantry. But I would NEVER donate it! Isn’t that just common sense? But let’s think about this: Elderly people who have lived through the Great Depression don’t really see it that way. They ate dirt. So an expired can of whatever is better than eating nothing. And they’ll argue that with you!
    The best thing to do is if you want to donate and do your good deed, just go out and BUY a couple cans of whatever and donate them then and there. Don’t even bring it home.
    The food pantry I’m familiar with has local grocery stores donate day old bread. BJ’s (Berkely and Jensen-I know, what a stupid name for a warehouse store) donates day old bagels, boxed coffee cakes, bread, danish, and cookies. The poorer citizens of that town do quite well at the local food pantry. It’s a well stocked pantry!
    Irene recently posted…Letter to Santa Not Working? Try a Letter to the UniverseMy Profile

    Reply
  6. BigLittleWolf

    Wow. Love your WTFs.
    I recently cleaned out my small pantry. I found a few items with expiration dates in 2007, and a few in 2009. I thought that wasn’t too bad. Everything else was current. I buy much much less, which helps keep things current and not waste.
    All that crap donated?
    WTF indeed.
    BigLittleWolf recently posted…The Marriage Agenda in Divorce DataMy Profile

    Reply
  7. chickens consigliere

    Hey all, you can send my your unwisely purchased green beans. I love them. But not the expired ones, if you do not mind. Chicken and botulism do not mix. Great post, Absence. A good reminder about the food bank. The opened jars of peanut butter surprised me. Really? That’s so not cool.
    chickens consigliere recently posted…Chicken Theory: Excerpt 187My Profile

    Reply
  8. Dufmanno

    I must be the only freak who loves canned corn. I inhale that shot like Bret Easton-Ellis at an 80s cocaine buffet.

    Reply
  9. dufmanno

    I heard that pepper spray is essentially a food so I emptied out all my old self defense drawers and made good on my resolution to donate worthy things to the poor this year!
    And for all you naysayers who think it “blinds” or “maims” I’ll have you know that mine once accidentally went off in a restaurant and only ten people had to be treated by paramedics.
    dufmanno recently posted…Jumpy the Overenthusiastic Field Mouse Learns A Terrible Life LessonMy Profile

    Reply
  10. Linda at Bar Mitzvahzilla

    I love that you made Amber swear! A good bloggy visit all around! A rant by Lin and swearing by Amber!

    I often think of this exact problem as I get another giant paper bag from my daughter’s school or a charity, asking me to fill it. I think, “Who’s going to sort this out.” I imagine the wild assortment that comes in; the idea of trying to make a decent meal out of donated Cup o’Noodles, canned corn, Progresso soups and Pop Tarts. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration. No one would actually give away a Pop Tart, would they? 🙂

    Reply
  11. Wildology

    A can from 2002??? That is totally NUTS. We have a rule that when the pantry gets overloaded, we stop buying groceries until we have cleaned most of it out. It seems to work well for everything except black beans. We do the same with the freezer, but I have been known to ignore expiration dates if it was less than a year. Don’t tell the hubby–he is a stickler.
    Wildology recently posted…A series of calamities, including poop.My Profile

    Reply
  12. pattypunker

    my fridge is filled with franzia. in fact, it should have been included in the new food pyramid. wtf. anyway, can’t believe the shit people try to “donate.” i really hope they weren’t afforded that “feel good about giving” feeling after dropping off expired food and half-eaten peanut butter.
    pattypunker recently posted…double whoa!My Profile

    Reply
  13. Life in the Boomer Lane

    Oh shit, another thing for me to get completely irate about. OK, I can understand why someone would grab a can of something that’s been sitting in the pantry for awhile. But dog food mixed with people food? Expired food? Half eaten food? And what Tom said about used underwear and socks? Excuse me while I stick a pillow over my face and start screaming.
    Life in the Boomer Lane recently posted…Medicare: UncoveredMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Thank you for this article. I often feel the same way: just give them money instead!

      Did you read the comments though? People actually said something like: These people are lazy and that’s why they are seeking free food. WTF?!

      Reply
  14. Tom G.

    Our church collects socks & underwear for the homeless each winter. We always have to specify “NEW” because honestly, some people really have no problem donating used underwear & socks.

    Too funny.

    Also, does Pepper Spray work as a food donation?
    Tom G. recently posted…Nostalgia is the sweetest drugMy Profile

    Reply
  15. Amber

    There is only two words for Megyn Kelly, Bill O’Reilly, and Fox News: Fuck You.

    I wonder how many of them have volunteered in a food kitchen or actually BEEN POOR. Working with this population has helped define compassion and empathy for me and I now advocate for them whenever possible.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.