Camping is for Bears: Live Blogging My Misery

July 31, 2010

in mark my word: twitter will doom us all

The worst thing about this camping trip...

2:19:39 PM: We didn’t get on the road till 2 pm. Just lk “Stuff White People Like” says about camping: we stopped by friggin REI! I’m driving now.

2:23:16 PM: sayz: Camping is for Bears: Live Blogging My Misery

3:46:31 PM: Tis a good thing I drove. Parking lot half of the way. Husband wouldve died from burst blood vessel before we got to camp site. We are here.

3:47:11 PM: Best billboard ads ever: Your wife is hot… Time to get your AC fixed!

5:14:49 PM: We hadn’t got to our camp site b4 we were eaten alive by bugs. I’m going to die by bug spray or bug bites. Burka sounds lk a good idea now

5:25:09 PM: We r surrounded by giant campers. We r of course doing it old skul. The green dom is our friends’

7:54:03 PM: Camp fire. This one is going to toast the marshmallows in a second! Ok. Maybe camping isn’t so bad.

9:21:54 PM: Perfectly toasted marshmallows are science and art. And retractable roasting sticks are the best buy

I am still f awake! First it’s the loud cacophony of bugs & frogs. Now my back is killing me. I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue?

2:42:31 AM: I am still f awake! First it’s the loud cacophony of bugs & frogs. Now my back is killing me. I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue?

2:51:14 AM: At least I got my own sleeping bag. The 1st time MR only packed 3 saying I could share w youngest as a blanket. Of course it got F chilly…

2:53:50 AM: I wrapped youngest in “blanket” then shivered the whole night thinking I was going 2 die while they snored away. At least the kids can sleep

2:58:02 AM: Our friends work 4 mobile company yet don’t get our fascination w “electronic gadgets”. I’ve been sneakily tweeting. Bathroom. Car. Woods.

4:34:19 AM: Why can’t I fall asleep? Why R zippers in tents so loud? Why do birds chirp so loudly since 4 am? How long can I hold my pee/?

4:52:50 AM: MR who came back from Asia on Fri left w car @ 5am. I hope he’s not checking in Red Roof Inn… On 2nd thought, I hope he does & invites me!

5:15:43 AM: The tent smells like gym. I’ve been awake since 2. My back hurts. I need 2 pee. THIS makes me happy:

6:13:46 AM: What’d ya know? As soon as I started to drift off, kid woke up & the day began! #NoRest4TheWicked

8:56:06 AM: Eating like royalty: Mountain Man dutch oven cooking. Guess I’m not losing weight this weekend. Ugh.

9:57:10 AM: Conquering the giant sand dune. So proud of the kids. I am “watching over” the kids. Look at them go

12:28:36 PM: It took MR coaxing me half way thru & disappearing on me & my oldest volunteering 2 b “Butt Pusher&qu

12:31:21 PM: MR yelling “You can do it!” I made it 2 the top. So did the 3yo girl in our group. Great streching!

4:34:16 PM: I kept on forgetting this is not the ocean but Lake Michigan. It’s so damn hot. No umbrella. ­čÖü

5:55:10 PM: Took 2nd shower of the day… OMFG! Houston, we have a problem! Raccoon eyes! I got racoon eyes right b4 #BlogHer10 & company shindig! F*ck!

8:03:48 PM: Now that’s a fire! But why am I still getting bitten, after 2 different bug sprays?!

6:30:26 AM: So hot last night. Had hard time sleeping. Even fanned myself with my hand! Then it got cold. Cold & wet. Woke up shivering. Good times. Ugh

6:35:02 AM: Good thing I had sugar coma at first from these giant marshmallows. We called them marsh melons.

10:52:08 AM: Worst things about camping: bugs esp. bug caught in my eyelash; sleeping in hot tent & hard ground; needing 2 pee in the middle of night

10:55:38 AM: Best things about camping: big sand dune; the lake; breakfast w bacon & then eggs & pancakes made in bacon grease; camp fire; marshmallows

10:59:26 AM: Lesson learned on this camping trip: wear a hat instead of sunglasses b/c full moon face/new moon chin is better than raccoon eyes

3:25:29 PM: Finally home. Gained ONLY 2 lbs on camping trip, thank goodness! Now unpacking & then packing 4 biz trip. Can’t wait for 6am flt! NOT! -fin-


Unknown Mami August 4, 2010 at 12:56 pm

I’m sure you will find a way to work the raccoon eyes.
Unknown Mami┬┤s last blog post…Spam the Spammers

Robin August 4, 2010 at 8:07 am

Camping! We keep thinking of camping again but now we live in the woods and it seems silly to sleep in a tent in our backyard.
Robin┬┤s last blog post…Being Heard

Holly B August 4, 2010 at 12:00 am

Will not sleep in a tent. Nope. Never. Prefer the RV and a/c and inside toilet. .. and if all else fails….. a sleep aid.
Holly B┬┤s last blog post…Palin-Bieber- B├╝ndchen- Duggar and Asshole Drivers – Suck It Wednesday

Mary Lee August 3, 2010 at 2:01 pm

Ah, you’re a good sport and a real trooper!

I told you to wear one of those mosquito fans!
Mary Lee┬┤s last blog post…Booty Call

Absence Alternatives August 3, 2010 at 9:36 pm

You are allowed to say, this time,

I told you so!

Justine August 3, 2010 at 7:43 am

No alcohol while camping???! What what what???! I would never go camping (thanks to The Blair Witch Project and a whole slew of other high maintanence issues of mine) and if I for some odd reason end up at some campsite, alcohol would be the only way I’d be able to survive it.

BTW, I saw the same “Your wife is hot” billboard on my way to MI. Must be the same one. Funny a few of us went there with different cars and everyone commented on it. That’s definitely a winner.
Justine┬┤s last blog post…Hi- my name is Justine and I am aÔÇŽ

Absence Alternatives August 3, 2010 at 9:30 pm

LOL @ us seeing the same billboard! I still lament the fact I didn’t take a pic of it. But we would have prolly died since I was driving.

Jen @ NathanRising August 2, 2010 at 12:54 pm

When I was a kid, I loved camping. Used to go all the time. Heck, I used to camp out in our backyard just for fun. It’s only within the past 3 or 4 years that I don’t like it quite as much. I am a walking meal for bugs, I can barely hold my pee long enough to walk to the bathroom, I wake up with my back spasming in pain from sleeping on the ground, my stomach isn’t very forgiving of campfire food, I’ve lost my tolerance for heat and sweat… In essence, I’ve turned into a pansy. A total pansy. What happened? It’s so sad because camping used to be SO MUCH FUN.

I wish I was a kid again.

Now, I’m just old and creaky and fat and fatigued with IBS and apparently, really tasty blood.
Jen @ NathanRising┬┤s last blog post…Oompa Loompas- I am waiting for you

Absence Alternatives August 3, 2010 at 9:22 pm

(This is for if you have read Sookie Stackhouse books or are a fan of the TV show True Blood…) Apparently you have faerie blood in you that’s why you are so tasty to the blood suckers!

dufmanno August 2, 2010 at 11:16 am

I’d like to inform you that I have been suffering from a recurring dream since childhood where I am EATEN ALIVE by a bear. I also have one where a giant tidal wave is approaching and I sit helplessly on the beach for the duration of the dream waiting for it to hit. Sometimes I get a suprise when Godzilla emerges in slow motion at the last minute.
Junior psychoanalysts of the world unite and give me your diagnosis please?
dufmanno┬┤s last blog post…Sam Lets it Rip

Absence Alternatives August 3, 2010 at 9:19 pm

I think you are destined to write the next Great American novel which will then be turned into a masterpiece Broadway musical which will then be made into a movie. Now go to bed, take a pen and pad, and jott down the dreams!

Loulou La Poule August 2, 2010 at 10:03 am

I got roped into camping with kids one whole time in a row. Daughter got lost within the first two hours/entire campground searching for her. She took a wrong turn back from the potty, which was practically in sight of campsite. I spent entire time cooking and cleaning up. My air mattress sprang a leak. Ground was cold and damp under tent floor. Son crawled in with me. Son peed my sleeping bag. I got no sleep. At 5:00 a.m. I ordered everybody up, car packed, and home by 9:00 a.m. Never, ever again.

You’re a great sport and a techno-marvel!

Absence Alternatives August 3, 2010 at 4:50 am

OMG! Your camping story is a true horror story! I’m so sorry (also b/c I’m LOL @ your misery… Sorry…)

TheKitchenWitch August 1, 2010 at 6:41 am

I told you that colonoscopies were easier!
TheKitchenWitch┬┤s last blog post…Raspberry Smash

Absence Alternatives August 3, 2010 at 4:48 am

LOL! Esp. IF I’m allowed to drink first! ­čśë

A Vapid Blonde July 31, 2010 at 5:02 pm

I used to love to camp until I became a neurotic mess.
A Vapid Blonde┬┤s last blog post…Bathing Is Way Overrated

Absence Alternatives August 3, 2010 at 4:45 am

Can you believe that they don’t allow any alcohol on this camp ground?!

Andrea July 31, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Ahh, camping. We do it a few times in the summer. It’s fun for 30 non-consecutive minutes, I think. We’ll be going again for a few nights in August, and I’m already exhausted just thinking about it. Have fun!! ­čÖé

Absence Alternatives August 3, 2010 at 4:47 am

If it’s not hot, there’s plenty of breeze and no bugs, yup, camping can be fun. Unfortunately it is never “perfect”. I now have “camper envy”…

Technobabe July 31, 2010 at 3:51 pm

You made it! Have a great time camping.
Technobabe┬┤s last blog post…Happy Surprise

Absence Alternatives August 3, 2010 at 4:44 am


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