Norman Rockwell can take the turkey and stuff it!

Thanksgiving.

I had an existential crisis last year when my then almost-7-year-old Mr. Monk started talking about a golden turkey. Complete with legs wrapped around in silver tinfoil and tied with red strings.

I honestly had no idea where he got the idea. I still don’t.

But an idea he did have. In fact, he was convinced that on Thanksgiving Day we were all going to sit around the table when, voila, out of the oven, a golden bird would be brought out on a silver platter and everybody would Oooo and Ahhh. And we would live happily ever after.

Ok, the last line was from my sarcastic self.

I hated breaking the news to him. Earth to Mr. Monk. Earth to Mr. Monk.

“Are you going to eat the turkey?”

“Hmmmm. Nope?”

“So you just want to look at the turkey?”

“Hmmmm. Yeah.”

Norman. (Please imagine me saying it the way Jerry Seinfeld says “Newman!”)

“Norman Rockwell can take the turkey and stuff it!” I thought.

That being said, I do like all the parodies made of the now iconic Freedom From Want. The following is a repost of all the Freedom from Want parodies I could find with some exciting new additions.

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Thanksgiving-Freedom-from-Want

Thanksgiving-reality

disney thanksgiving

thanksgiving super heroes

mad-lindsay-nicole-britney-paris

the truth behind the thanksgiving bird


This is what I am talking about!

This is what I am talking about! Thanks, Elly, for finding this for me!


14 thoughts on “Norman Rockwell can take the turkey and stuff it!

  1. Mary Lee

    These are just too, too wonderful!!!

    To paraphrase the restaurant patron said in When Harry Met Sally, I want some of whatever Superman’s woman is having. Holy cow! (Sorry–poor choice of words.) Talk about Mrs. Beaver Cleavage! Yowsah!
    Mary Lee recently posted…Reeling Me InMy Profile

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  2. MacDougal Street Baby

    Ours is a Simpson’s Thanksgiving. Nobody waits for the turkey, food fights are a given, and dogs are welcome at the table. It is what it is. We should all be thankful for whatever it is we’ve got. Have a happy gobble gobble day!

    Reply
  3. dufmanno

    While I was slightly disturbed by the cannibalistic nature of the Sesame Street one I’m loving these.
    I manage to insert bacon into my special turkey day through the stuffing and finger foods.
    This year I’m throwing all tradition to the wind and I’m going to admit to you (as if I’m on my shrinks couch) that I ordered ALL my side dishes from Whole Foods.
    That’s right, I’m only cooking the turkey.
    You may throw your stones of disgust now.
    Still, have a great Thanksgiving!!!xoxoxoxoxox
    dufmanno recently posted…Blowing the Lid Off of the 30 Year Old ConspiracyMy Profile

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      I am trying to have a semblance of working today so I don’t waste a vacation day… because I am running on over-withdrawal already. I haven’t even made my grocery list yet. And you know what? We don’t even have turkey. I ordered my ham and my pies. And I am going to make the side dishes. I am still undecided on tofurkey for brother-in-law who’s vegetarian… Maybe you can take a picture of your golden turkey tied with red strings to Mr. Monk. 🙂

      Reply

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