If you look at the ratings, the crazed fans (“regular Suzy homemakers” many of them) in the audience, the 4.5 million followers on Twitter, her No. 3 position on the Twitter ranking (behind Ashton Kutcher and Britney Spears *Yes, I know* BUT ahead of POTUS), you’d be convinced that Ellen DeGeneres has gone mainstream. For goodness sake, Ellen is a CoverGirl! She is able to mention her wife Portia de Rossi in the mundane way that spouses mention each other in their conversations with other people without raising any eyebrows.

Wanda Sykes has a show on Fox.

The primetime TV show “Modern Family” on ABC includes in its main characters a suburban couple with an adopted daughter who happen to be gay without any trace that would possibly remind you of Jack from Will and Grace.

If you put your blinder on (and force yourself to forget about Prop 8), you can tell yourself that, yes, gays and lesbians have been accepted as “one of us”. Or at the very least, homosexuality is now broadly accepted as yet another piece of fabric weaved into this complex, multi-faceted world that we live in.

You would be wrong.

First of all, as you are well aware of, there is a fight raging on in Washington over “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”. I can’t do my frustration justice without simply asking you to watch my beloved Jon Stewart proposing a ban on Old People from serving in the Senate. Naturally “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” would apply also should this ban go through…

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The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
A Few Gay Men & Women
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Reform

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Earlier we were outraged by what happened to Constance McMillan, the lesbian high school student in Itawamba, Mississippi who wanted to wear a tux and bring her girlfriend to the prom and was denied this request by the school board. At the same time we were amazed and impressed by this young woman’s poise, resolve and courage when she didn’t take the easy way out by simply backing down and instead took her case up with ACLU. Such a story naturally hit close to home for Ellen: She invited Constance to be on the show to tell her story and presented Constance with a scholarship of $30,000 (from an anonymous donor) at the end of the interview. Later when a federal judge ruled that the school board violated her rights by cancelling the prom (without ordering the district to hold the prom as planned), Ellen sent yet another strong message to Constance, and also to her viewers.

You’d thought such outrage would have taught the school district, the parents and the students involved to rethink their position and learn a lesson from this. But no…

Last Friday, Constance was sent to an effectively “fake” prom which was only attended by 5 other students. The principal and teachers were also there as chaperons. Two of these students were reportedly disabled. (One had to assume that they have also been directed to this “fake” prom). In the mean time, a privately-held party organized by parents was held in another location attended by, you guessed it, the other students. “The parents didn’t want Constance there, and they didn’t want to get sued.” Some reports said.

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The "Secret Prom" Constance McMillan was not invited to. She lucked out judging by the photo...

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You’d think that people would eventually wake up one morning and realized such cruelty is unbecoming of a human being and relent. But no…

The other students have been identifying themselves as victims because Constance ruined the prom and their memories of senior high school. As a normal teenager would do when they have an ax to grind against somebody, they started a Facebook page called “Constance quit yer cryin.(I just spent an hour reading some of the things being posted on that Facebook page. My jaws are still on the floor…)

All this is unbelievable isn’t it? Well, no worries. Because our fellow human beings never disappoint. What is even more unbelievable, more outrageous, more horrifying, and more saddening is the case of Phoebe Prince in South Hadley, MA, who killed herself in January after cyber and emotional bullying. The most un-fucking-believable part of this? Her tormentors went to her Facebook the day after she hung herself (and discovered by her 12-year-old sister!) and mocked her. Right there on the memorial page.

It’s been two months and every time when I think of her and this story, I cannot stop cursing and crying.

Finally on March 29, nine teenagers were indicted for their involvement in this case. I sure hope I will not hear about Facebook page set up by supporters of the Hadley 9 bemoaning how Phoebe Prince has ruined their lives.

What happened here?

The teachers have been blamed for Phoebe Prince’s death; the school district/board has been blamed for the prejudiced decision against Constance McMillan.

How about the parents?

What I am seeing is a severe case of Undeserved Sense of Entitlement and Lack of Accountability.

Teachers don’t teach you this at school. Nor should they be responsible for building characters and moral fortitude for the kids. It is the parents’ job, isn’t it?

Don’t get me wrong: I am not so smug as to assume that I will be able to understand my children when they turn teenagers. But as a parent, you have got to try as hard as you could. Now I know you did not try hard enough if you were organizing a private party just so you could exclude the gays and the disabled. The disabled? WHAK? Does the Bible say something against the disabled too?

Candace Gingrich-Jones on HuffPost put out a call for action:

“We can all learn a lot from Constance McMillan and how she has handled herself — when we see something that doesn’t seem right, it probably isn’t. And it is the responsibility of every one of us to take some kind of action on behalf of fairness. Whether you bring up bullying at the next PTA meeting, write a letter to the Itawamba County School District, or call out your friends or co-workers when they say ‘faggot’ or ‘that’s so gay,’ you are improving the climate for queer youth — and adults. Do something.”

DO SOMETHING.

Let’s tell our kids that “the buck stops here.” The buck has got to stop with them. Let’s tell them that we understand peer pressure and how hard it is to survive high school, but they have to be the one that speak up. If not to their peers, then to an adult. If malicious rumors are being circulated about someone, the least they have to do is to NOT continue the chain. Break the cycle of cruelty. Sometimes all it takes is one person to stand up or stay back or speak up.

LET’S DO SOMETHING.

Baby steps. All of us.

One Ellen DeGeneres is not enough.

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Let’s start with the word “Gay”.

Let’s start with banning the usage of the word “gay” as a substitute for “stupid, dumb, ugly, undesirable, etc.” from your schools.

Since I wrote “That’s so Gay” is NOT so funny! This has nothing to do with sense of humor… last February, “That’s so gay” has been gaining popularity as just another common expression. I am hearing (and seeing on Facebook) this phrase more and more often, from children younger and younger who have no idea what “being gay” means. As the phrase takes on the facade of familiarity, moving into the realm of the vernacular, taking on the identity of an idiom (because what exactly does it even mean in this context?! Children or the immature adults only know to prevent this phrase from ever being used on them… but what exactly does it mean?!) it is becoming harder and harder to fight it off.

I am tired of hearing “That’s so gay.” I really am. There are so many words in English to choose from to denote your distaste for something. Get a thesaurus. Get a book of classic insults by Shakespeare. Wilde. Because when you are so concerned about being called “gay” that “That’s so gay” becomes a popular insult, you know, you sound like a Homophobe to me. And you know what they say about Homophobes… How about this, let’s give “That’s so Beck” a try.

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p.s. Here’s my angry musing on the increasing popularity of the usage of “Gay” as an insult…

The increasing popularity of the usage of “Gay” as an insult is indicative of the underlying homophobic mentality permeating in our society, despite decades of working towards acceptance by the “mainstream”. This is, the way I read it, part of the backlash against the gains made by gays and lesbian. They have co-opted the word “queer” so that now it conveys pride in self-identification in some specific uses. It is then not too far off to see the co-opting of the word “Gay” as revenge by the not-so-enlightened amongst us: they are trying to turn the previously neutral and PC “label” (for lack of a better word) into a slur. “You took an insult word from us so that we can no longer hurt you with it. Guess what? We are going to turn how you have been identifying yourselves with into a insult equivalent of anything undesirable…”

Clever maneuver by the not-so-tolerant.

What does this say about how we really feel about those who are different from the “norm” deep down, behind the door, if we allow the use of this word on the playground and in the school hallways as part of the litany of insults that our kids can hurl at each other?

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…………………………………………………………………………………….

And, like a bad infomercial on TV, THERE IS MORE!

The drama continues here on the Facebook page set up by the adults from Itawamba, Mississippi. It is easy to see where the kids have learned their prejudices and bigoted attitudes. I don’t want to sound naive to say that I am shocked by the ugliness found there. But despite all my cynicism, I am still shocked.

{ 50 comments }

Beka April 18, 2011 at 2:35 pm

This isn’t exactly a timely response to your posting, but I read this post hot on the heels of Danny Miller’s “Fat Jokes Aren’t Funny” post, which led me to you. The two cases you wrote about are just a shameful reflection on our culture. And as a parent of two junior high schoolers, I do consider it my responsibility to teach my children better than this. I remember my son using “gay” as an insult once. My husband quickly responded that “gay” is not an insult and reminded him of all of our friends who are gay. Ironically, both my kids have openly gay friends at school, but the term is still used pretty widely this way. I have had two of my son’s friends use it while riding in my car, and I have told them both that we don’t use that term in our family and explained why. I also let one mother know about our conversation. I figure the more education the better.
Beka´s last blog post…Spring Is Springing Up Everywhere

Absence Alternatives April 20, 2011 at 11:11 am

Thank you for visiting and commenting. And thank you really for being a wonderful parent/role model. Because that’s what we are: the first line of defense, the most basic role model our kids have. If we don’t start it from home, there is no winning this battle. It’s tough dealing with peer pressures, it’s tough for us to watch our kids deal with peer pressures, but a line has to be drawn somewhere. And kudos to you for standing up to the other parents. Sometimes we are worried that this may cause our kids to become unpopular etc. It’s a delicate balance to reach. I wish all of us good luck in fighting the good fight!

Catherine April 10, 2011 at 10:39 pm

I just went over to that Facebook page about Constance. I am speechless. Actually, no I am not! If they want a poll (!) about who is right, them or Constance, let’s flood it with support for Constance. Break their stupid ranting site with so many comments of support. Unbelievable….

Absence Alternatives April 11, 2011 at 12:55 am

Thank you so much for visiting and commenting. Unbelievable is right. I have often been made speechless by what some people would do/say.

Anastasia July 3, 2010 at 5:47 am

Sometimes I get so mad. I hope I can raise my kids to be themselves and be able to stand up for what’s right,

You’re absolutely right about the parents need to step in and teach their kids how to act. I want to punch people over and over again.
Anastasia´s last blog post…Dare you not to sing along

Maureen@IslandRoar April 14, 2010 at 7:09 pm

God I love you! This post is amazing. You are amazing. I hadn’t heard about Constance’s story but it’s so frustrating and cruel. The girl in MA is all over the news here. It fell thru the cracks on so many levels. Her parents apparently did contact the school who dropped the ball. A teacher reported hearing some bullying and nothing was done. How could this go on so long right in the halls?? And yes, these girls’ parents. I would be so saddened if my kid treated someone even remotely like this. AND so ashamed of myself. I have always taught my kids it’s not enough to just not agree with people doing this crap. You have to find the courage to speak up. ANd when you do, you’ll usually find there is someone who feels the same as you and maybe you’ve given them the courage to stand up to it as well. Act, do the right thing. Because we all have to live with ourselves.
Thank you for this post.
.-= Maureen@IslandRoar´s last blog…Spin Cycle: Words =-.

Shelli April 14, 2010 at 3:52 pm

Whenever I hear some kid (because let’s face it, it’s usually kids or those with the mentality of a kid) say “that’s so gay”, I snap at them! I point out that such-and-such object can’t be gay, because it lacks the ability to have sex, AND it can’t be happy (when they try to backpedal by using the old definition) because in order to be happy, it must be capable of emotion. The looks I get are priceless, to say the least!

Thanks to your post, I now have another comeback: “buy a thesaurus!”

I’ve been following the MS case for a very long time, and it makes my blood boil every time I see or hear some new form of discrimination related to it, and other cases around the country. This is the first time I’ve seen pics from the “real” prom. Boiling over again.
.-= Shelli´s last blog…A quickie =-.

Technobabe April 12, 2010 at 9:49 am

Unknown Mami sent me over here and I am glad she did. Your writing about this issue is right on and I am disgusted and ashamed of the human race in Mississippi. The hatred and intolerance being taught by the parents is being taught across the country. My only hope for the world is that these ignorant people are in the minority still. Hopefully some of their children will see their parents for what they really are and will use their own brains to figure out how to get along with others and not think they are better than others.
.-= Technobabe´s last blog…Wizard Of Aaahs and Oohs =-.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 4:51 pm

Exactly my hopes too!

Thanks for visiting and commenting! Congrats on your husband’s new CD!

Absence Alternatives April 11, 2010 at 2:25 pm

I just want to thank you all for chiming in!

Jack April 11, 2010 at 2:03 am

It really is shameful.
.-= Jack´s last blog…Festival of Fathers- A Blog Experience #6 =-.

Unknown Mami April 10, 2010 at 11:04 pm

Will it ever end? I feel like we make a little progress and then we regress a decade. Gay is not an insult people! I have to have this conversation with my mother because she uses a word in Spanish that means gay to insult people or to point out that they are idiots, this is a woman that has always been surrounded by gay friends, one of my first baby sitters was a gay man, yet she continues to use this word as a slur. I explain to her why it is so wrong and she tells me that everyone says it and it’s not meant as an insult. I ask her to substitute a word like heterosexual or straight instead and she tries to pretend like she doesn’t understand my point. It drives me bonkers. Enough, already! I mean that is just so heterosexual!!!
.-= Unknown Mami´s last blog…Fragmented Fridays =-.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 1:10 am

It is harder to change the behavior of older generations. You can only do your best. And work on the younger ones.

I read that in Germany they have the equivalent phrase too! It’s a worldwide plague. Ugh.

That’s so hetero. I love it!

Jen @ NathanRising April 10, 2010 at 7:13 pm

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I’m so very glad to see someone bringing these problems to light because it’s about time people grow the hell up and open their eyes. I hate bullies, and Phoebe’s story is just heartbreaking. And yes, THE PARENTS are to blame because guess what? It’s the parents who are responsible for how thier children act. I, for instance, will absolutely not tolerate bullying- either by my child or towards my child. But then again, I hope to raise a boy who has high enough self-esteem that he won’t feel the need to bully and will be strong enough emotionally to stand up to bullies. Awesome, awesome post!
-Jen
.-= Jen @ NathanRising´s last blog…I’ll Take Some Chubby Cheeks With that Order of Tubby Tummy, Please =-.

Andrea April 10, 2010 at 7:38 am

The high school where I work is large and urban, and there seems to be a place for most students. We have a club called the GSA — the Gay Straight Alliance — and they began a campaign around our school to end the “that’s so gay” comments. I think it’s helped, though in small increments. The longer I teach, the more hope I do see — kids seem somewhat less bothered by or fearful of their differences. But it’s a long road, and there’s still much ground to cover. Change happens so slowly, and then when you see such hate right out in the open, it’s easy to think we’re not getting anywhere. I hope that we are. I think that we are . . . slowly . . . moving forward.
.-= Andrea´s last blog…"People Are Strange" — originally posted 8/28/09 =-.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 1:08 am

And we are fortunate to have teachers like you and Jana that keep our kids moving forward. We as parents need to remember though: it takes a village. Inside the family, we need to reinforce the values and morals. But I know I am preaching to the choir here.

If I just stay here and not explore the internet, esp. if I stay away from the “comments”, I will believe that this world is made up of intelligent, smart, caring, kind, generous, conscientious people. Maybe I should do that…

Momalomjen April 10, 2010 at 6:51 am

How has it taken me so long to find you? Reading this post just a few miles from South Hadley, where I went to school and worked for several years after graduating, I am struck again by how my “local news” is now seemingly in every corner of the media. You touch on so many things here that I wish I could adequately respond to. But, I’ll take the mommy view (big surprise) for now and say YES, let’s make the parents accountable, shall we? (Also, mindbodymama wrote a similar post yesterday, in case you haven’t checked her out!)
.-= Momalomjen´s last blog…What’s In My Bag =-.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 1:05 am

Thanks! I will check out mindbodymama.

Did you really go to South Hadley? I was told that it’s a very small, close-knit community. It doesn’t matter how long you have lived there, if you weren’t born or grew up there, you’ll forever be deemed as an outsider.

JennyMac April 10, 2010 at 5:36 am

Such a fantastic post. Tolerance starts at home and the day my son cries and complains that his prom was ruined and that is more of a significant social issue than a girl being ostracized because of her sexual preference, well, that will be an ugly day in the house. The good news it will never happen here. We will teach our son tolerance, openness, and inclusiveness. Shame on the parents of the students who supported this silliness. And bravo to Constance. It is hard to be brave especially in a small town full of small minds.
.-= JennyMac´s last blog…Your mouth can thank me later =-.

Linda from Bar Mitzvahzilla April 10, 2010 at 1:22 am

Thank you for this wonderful post.

When touring high schools with my son a few months ago I had a few criteria besides the obvious, like academics. I checked the activity group lists at each school. My son is heterosexual, but I knew that if there was no Gay Student Union, we could never belong there. By their teen years kids know if they’re gay and to have an unwelcome atmosphere, to have a student body that contains only the status quo, meant that my family, as Jews, as Democrats, could never feel comfortable there. Either everyone belongs or no one does.

It’s unbelievable to me that it was even an issue in 2010 whether someone wanted to attend a prom with a same-sex date or opposite-sex date. And the fact that they could set up an alternate prom? I find it frightening that people with such small hearts live in this country; it makes me feel very hopeless about the other things that they think are “right ” and are teaching their children.
.-= Linda from Bar Mitzvahzilla´s last blog…Essential Yiddish: Part One =-.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 1:03 am

THAT is a great idea! Making sure the school has a Gay Student Union. I need to remember that. While watching the movie The Boy in the Striped Pajamas today, we discussed why it is important to stand up and fight for any injustice, because if it could happen to anybody, it could happen to you.

mrsblogalot April 9, 2010 at 7:12 pm

This was a fabulous and brilliant post!!! I for one am tired of baby steps. We need big fat feet leaps to get us up to speed with where our humanity should be at this point. We have a lot of catching up to do.

You are amazing!
xoxoxoM

Ry Sal - aka @bwdstudio April 9, 2010 at 6:02 pm

oh can’t we all just GET ALONG? cats & dogs live together!
.-= Ry Sal – aka @bwdstudio´s last blog…Stranger Things Have Happened =-.

secret agent woman April 9, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I’ve long disliked that use of the word “gay.” I think those of us who are straight need to be speaking up, too. None of us are free until all of us are free, right?
.-= secret agent woman´s last blog…A random tale from the recent past. =-.

A Vapid Blonde April 9, 2010 at 11:24 am

I was talking about this to my husband yesterday (after I posted my own self serving post about being bullied) and I posed a question to him: Would any one bat an eyelash if a young girl in our community wanted to go to prom with her girlfriend..and I am so happy and proud to say that the answer is absolutely not. We live in a really open community, not only can gay couples go to prom they can get married….legally.

Both of these events make me physically ill.
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog…Sleepsex, Dog Years & Grapefruit =-.

Diane April 9, 2010 at 6:41 am

Great post. I, too, get enraged – as in, my BP goes up and I break those little capillaries on my face – when I hear about a teenager being bullied, ostracized and tormented. Having survived parenting two teenagers and in the process of surviving a third (and the jury’s still out on whether I make it on this one, honestly, it is so freaking hard) I can tell you that teenagers are like funhouse mirrors of their parents. They take whatever redneck, close-minded, bigoted ideas their parents have and magnify them and take them into school with them. It can work the other way, too (your kids can take your intelligent, compassionate, righteous ideas and magnify them and really go to town with them), but sadly the kids with the negative and judgmental backgrounds are the loudest, squeakiest wheels. During the presidential election, my teenagers campaigned for Barack Obama with me. Then they’d go to school and hear kids talk about “that nigger.” . . . breaking capillaries again . . .

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 1:01 am

My son got into trouble at school for saying “It sucks.” The teacher also told them not to use “That’s so gay.” (Of course, they started saying, “That’s so HAPPY” *sigh*) I am pretty sure any utterance of the N word by anybody would send an alarm through the entire school system. For that, I am grateful.

Wicked Shawn April 9, 2010 at 5:24 am

3 things :
*Old people making laws for our nation: As usual, my hero, Mr. Stewart, is onto something here, I am certain of it, they are clearly out of touch. How in the hell do they sit there with the top military leaders telling them this law needs to be changed and tell them they are wrong??? WTF??!! Mindboggling. Only word that comes to my brain when I see it. McCain, useless, spineless, flipflopping, flimflam, oh let’s face it, the list of words I have for him goes on forever.
*Acceptance of our differences in this world, not just this nation, will never reach the level it should, precisely due to the ignorance that is passed from one generation to another. The parents and children of this school in MS have just served as a reminder to us all. It is hate and bigotry at its ugliest, on display for us all. They wear it under the guise of their god and with pride. It sickens all of us who have a love for our fellow humankind.
*I heart you!
.-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog…So I Saved A Few People Today =-.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 12:59 am

3 things:
* Palin’s having a comeback. Shouldn’t a law preventing stupid people from running for POTUS be an obvious must? Oh, never mind.
* Those parents are convinced they are doing the right thing because the Bible tells them so. That’s the whole backlash is about: they are fearing and disliking the “secular” government. Yup. Where is the church and state? Sadly many of these parents don’t seem to get the concept. It is quite frightening really.
* I heart you more!
* I win.
* technically, it is 4 things. No, 5 things now.

wanderingmenace April 9, 2010 at 2:31 am

I have never understood why people like those you are writing about, take the time and effort to hate others just because of who they choose to sleep with. It floors me, it really does. Why should it be anyone else’s business who a person chooses to spend their life with? Based on that logic, we should all start hating every one of our friends or family members who get involved with someone we don’t like. It just doesn’t make sense to me at all.
If people took the time and energy to get as outraged about things like genocide, HIV/AIDS, homelessness, or any of the other ACTUAL issues in the world, then maybe we could finally start cleaning up the planet a bit. As is, we have to spend our time going backwards to deal with these absolute horrors of human beings.
Really great post.
.-= wanderingmenace´s last blog…woes of a clumsy ballerina =-.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 12:55 am

Thank you for visiting and commenting!

When religious fervor is involved, there really is no room for discussion. That’s my conclusion. *sigh*

Miss B April 8, 2010 at 7:58 pm

Also, you should probably go read this — http://nightmarebrunette.tumblr.com/post/503088247/being-gay-isnt-a-choice-but-being-a-bigot-certainly-is

It made me shout YES! out loud in my empty apartment last night.
.-= Miss B´s last blog…Spectrum =-.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 12:54 am

I love it! I have made it into one of my “tags” for my posts. BEING A BIGOT IS A CHOICE!

Sadly though, for many of these kids? Judging by the Facebook page, they may not have a choice the way they were brought up…

Amanda@Brilliant Sulk April 8, 2010 at 4:18 pm

I too spent over an hour on that Facebook page and was FLOORED. I was literally sick to my stomach. The parents certainly do need to take responsibility for raising these hideous monsters. Although I’m sure there’s a reason these kids have turned the way they have. Mom and Dad might just be related…

In San Francisco one takes for granted that Sally and Mary can walk down the street holding hands with no one even giving them a second glance. I wish the rest of the country would follow suit.
.-= Amanda@Brilliant Sulk´s last blog…Don’t Feel Sorry For The Handicapped Dragons =-.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 12:53 am

I love SFO!

Elly Lou April 8, 2010 at 3:56 pm

I love you. Madly.

I promise to use “That’s so Beck” every chance I get.
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog…The Irrefutable Truth =-.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 12:52 am

You know how I feel about you. But I am not going to behave like a man, I will say it back to you:

I love you.

Jana @ Attitude Adjustment April 8, 2010 at 2:19 pm

This is why I’m not rushing back to my job as a teacher of high school, though they need people like me. It is shocking the things that teenagers say to each other. Unfortunately, many teachers are no better. I called kids out for using the word “gay,” but it’s pretty hard to get your message across when you have a bunch of teachers who became teachers so they could get their summers off and be home by four in the afternoon. (Here is where I’ll assert my opinion that a Masters in Education is purely a way to get an increase in pay with no actual increase in education. Hope I didn’t offend anyone.) So many of the young teachers I worked with used this word, and I sat at a lunch table with a rough-and-tumble gym teacher who used the word “faggy.” It made me sick to my stomach. But how was I supposed to respond, other than leave the table? (Which they didn’t notice.) Because I was new and everyone else at the table seemed to accept this behavior. Too often, the atmosphere of high school extends beyond just the mood and tone the hormonal students create.

I love Ellen DeGeneres, and I’m often surprised with the way she’s been accepted. It’s sort of a shock to me. What is she doing that makes it work? I guess she has shown that she’s a person, not just a lesbian. (Oh, and she gives away a LOT of free stuff.)
.-= Jana @ Attitude Adjustment´s last blog…The View from My Back Door =-.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 12:51 am

Jana, you are right: it is harder in the workplace, esp. in the school environment where teachers can form cliques themselves from what I have heard. *ugh* My co-workers know how I feel but they continue to use the term because to them I am just being “overtly sensitive” and “no sense of humor” again. I just keep on staying out of the conversations. But it is not really making a statement since as the lone female in the office, I am always left out of the conversations anyway. That’s another blog post I’ll never write…

naptimewriting April 8, 2010 at 11:47 am

More anger, please. Becuase honestly, that’s not enough.
This? “You’d think that people would eventually wake up one morning and realized such cruelty is unbecoming of a human being and relent. ” This is honestly to heavens my dream for every single day of my life. That one day will be the day that human beings wake up and act like human beings. And fuck if they don’t lose day after day to their hate and their ignorance and their despicable self-righteous and other-hating behavior. Makes me not want to raise kids, then want to raise kids meticulously so they can change the world.
fuuuuuuccccckkkk!
Let’s go do this thing. This changing the world thing. Let’s do it.
.-= naptimewriting´s last blog…Naming dilemma =-.

Velva April 8, 2010 at 10:42 am

I will say what I always say, and my children have had to endure my life lesson lectures…..NICE is important in the most deepest sense of the word. It is mostly parents in subtle and indirect ways that teach children the morals and values that they will carry through a lifetime. Our children learn from not what we say ( lord knows I say it) but how we behave and respond everyday.

These stories always saddened me. I find them so “not nice” (sigh).
.-= Velva´s last blog…Breakfast Strata with Sausage, Mushrooms, and Monterey Jack =-.

Absence Alternatives April 11, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Velva, Be Nice is really the most basic thing, you are right. Is it sad that our kids may find it harder and harder to be nice because of peer pressure and stuff? When I got so upset at my 12 year old yesterday, I told him that my goal for him has been lowered to “Don’t be a jerk.”

Robin April 8, 2010 at 9:12 am

Beautiful post, I couldn’t agree more. I wrote about Phoebe today too and all of it is just pushing me to the edge. I feel like our country is worrying about swears and nudity and censorship when we really have to be worrying about these things, this is what is destroying our country.
.-= Robin´s last blog…Teens Will Be Mean =-.

TheKitchenWitch April 8, 2010 at 8:49 am

You know how enraged I get about bullying. I, too, was horrified at the callous and malicious behavior directed towards Phoebe and Candace. Who is raising these monsters?

I wonder what kind of punishment those 9 kids are going to receive–I’m sure it will leave me (yet again) furious.
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog…Hawaiian Vacation: Then and Now: Part I =-.

Absence Alternatives April 11, 2010 at 2:19 pm

I am cynical about this too. I am prepared to be outraged. *sigh*

magpie April 8, 2010 at 8:44 am

Yes. Excellent.
.-= magpie´s last blog…Fun With Science for Susan =-.

pattypunker April 8, 2010 at 8:02 am

epic post! the senselessness, brutality, intolerance, and mindless hate fucking going on is incomprehensible and inhumane. it’s savage. i think it’s time we create an uncivilized place to house some of these beasts. well, that would be stooping. though when i read about mockery on a memorail page, i reconsider this. nothing could be this vile.

ps: one ellen is not enough. she is a true maverick! got that, sarah palin?

Absence Alternatives April 11, 2010 at 2:18 pm

Thank you for stopping by and commenting! Yes, I still shudder when I think about these girls mocking the deceased. How base is that?

Vintage Christine April 8, 2010 at 7:22 am

I’m not FROM Mississippi but I’ve lived here for 18 years. Long enough to start feeling defensive when YET ANOTHER person brings up something that happened here connected to our famous racism and intolerance. And then I think, no, wait a minute. So many times I hear people making racist or anti-gay remarks and just let them go, thinking that saying something won’t do any good, anyway. There’s a reason people in the rest of the country think people in Mississippi are a bunch of racist, sexist, intolerant boobs! We do things like cancel entire proms instead of letting one harmless Lesbian wear a freaking tux! I know it’s not just Mississippi but when it happens here it gets more press just because people already expect us to be the way we are. It gets very discouraging because I don’t see people here, in large part, changing any time soon, but I try to make my voice heard in little ways like flying a rainbow flag at the house (my husband just LOVES that . . . not!), keeping my Obama sticker on the car, and putting up Buddhist prayer flags on the front fence. Plus as I get older I’m less concerned about pissing people off with my liberal opinions!
.-= Vintage Christine´s last blog…I’m Trying Not To Be a "Beach" About This, But For Pete’s Sake! =-.

Absence Alternatives April 11, 2010 at 2:17 pm

Christine! You go girl! Yes, it is sad that if you look at the Facebook pages there are a lot of unproductive mud slinging going on. That’s why you need to Represent! 😉

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