Rain Drops on Roses

January 28, 2013

in this i believe

One of my favorite movies, as cliche as a cliche can be, is indeed The Sound of Music. I often thought to myself, “I should start a list of ‘My Favorite Things’ just so I could remember the little things in life, the fleeting moments, the silly indulgences, that make the sun shine, that remind me what it feels like to be free and alive.”

I should clarify that these are the things that demarcate the “me moments”. I guess this is ultimately a selfish list… These moments insulate me from the outside world, everything that is Not-me. They suck the air out of the space around me and create a vacuum that is almost imperceptible (except, of course, if this were literal, I’d be gagging for air. Duh.) Do you know the feeling you get when you put on a pair of noise cancellation headsets and you switch the noise cancellation voodoo magic on before you turn on the music? There is an indescribable (to me but probably not to somebody like Raymond Carver) yet tangible texture of tranquility, of emptiness in that split second.

To put it plainly, these are the moments that make it easier for me to imagine I am a heroin in an aimless, plotless European art-house movie, wandering the cobblestone streets looking for discarded playing cards appearing in random corners.

1. French bread sticking out from a paper grocery bag. ha ha.
2. Stomping in puddles in my rain boots
3. Burrowing myself into a pile of towels or bed sheets fresh from the dryer on a cold dreary day
4. Flowers sitting on my kitchen table. Or the idea of it since I seldom buy flowers…
5. A good book (or my Kindle) and a cup of tea or coffee
6. The sound of rain
7. The smell and fluffiness of freshly laundered plush 100% Egyptian towels
8. The scene in The Sound Of Music when Maria teaches the children to sing “My Favorite Things”
9. Toblerone
10. Falling into a perfectly made bed when I check into a hotel on a business trip
11. A bath surrounded by lit candles. Alone.
12. Hanging out at the Starbucks in the Metra train station with my laptop on Saturday mornings
13. Pathétique by Tchaikovsky, especially the 4th movement. No multi-tasking. Simply, listening.
14. December by George Winston. ibid.
15. Brushing my hair with long, calming strokes that are disturbingly similar to creepy brush strokes seen in scary movies
16. The feeling of my hair against my back when I tilt my head back
17. Lying inside a patch of sunshine coming through the window on the floor
18. Bench seat at a bay window
19. The delicate fragrance of flowers from a tea olive shrub
20. A piece of black forest cake, of course, at a quiet corner inside a darkened cafe. No ants.
21. A cup of tea on fancy china, with proper cup and saucer
22. Full moon that looks monstrously huge
23. Any moment when I am alone yet not lonely

This would be a laundry list that never finishes, kind of like my laundry in real life. Many more little things will be remembered and designated as a favorite thing only if I become self-aware and consciously register my enjoyment of it. That designation itself is fleeting for I will also need to remember to add it to this list. #FirstWorldProblem I know. This exercise has been good for my soul though as I walked through the minutes and hours today forcing myself to dig deep into the recess of my memory for the forgotten, precious moments that made me exclaim silently, “I am so glad I am alive.” Another #FirstWorldProblem yes. But you don’t live inside my head so please don’t judge too harshly my neurosis.

{ 7 comments }

Ameena February 3, 2013 at 9:47 pm

Sound of Music is one of my favorites too…I have it on VHS if you can believe it! Sad but true.

The baguette thing? I totally agree. And really, another George Winston fan? I had no idea! I listen to him on Spotify at work…best working music ever. “Thanksgiving” is one of my favorites.

I knew I liked you for so many reasons…had no idea that your love of George was one of them.

Absence Alternatives February 4, 2013 at 6:06 pm

🙂

Am listening to George Winston on Spotify now. Love it esp. when working and needing to think.

Absence Alternatives February 4, 2013 at 6:08 pm

And yes, Thanksgiving is my favorite too! Sometimes would just cry for no reason. I am certain it has nothing to do with menopause since I felt that way when I was a lot younger!

BigLittleWolf January 31, 2013 at 10:10 am

Give me an “aimless, plotless European arthouse movie” anytime…

I’d take #1, but unwrapped and tucked unceremoniously under my arm, and in Paris. With a small room of my own, my journal, and a pen.
BigLittleWolf´s last blog post…Vampires… At a Theater Near You. Again.

Absence Alternatives February 4, 2013 at 6:06 pm

It’s funny I had the moveis Before Sunset and Before Sunrise in mind when I wrote that line. I was however referring to an old European art film that I saw when I was in college, it was about two girls wandering around some European city, talking about seeing the green flash at the edge of the ocean. For once Google search failed me.

MacDougalStreetBaby January 29, 2013 at 10:49 am

This list could be mine. #5, #6, #16, #18, #21, and especially #23 ring ring ring loud inside of me. FirstWorldProblem, yes, but also poignant.

Absence Alternatives February 4, 2013 at 5:58 pm

Thanks. I sometimes wonder whether the Interwebs helps with #23 or aggravate it…

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