We are all in this

**The following is a repost from Martin Luther King Day, 2010**

Mr. Monk, my 7-year-going-on-50-old child, asked me last Friday at dinner,

“Mom, is it true that you would not be here if Martin Luther King did not give THAT speech?”

I was caught by surprise, I’ll be completely honest. Although I understand the impact Dr. King’s speech has had on the American history, culture and psyche, it has never occurred to me that what Dr. King said from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial on August 23, 1963 would have material effect on my personal fate. After all, I was not even born then in 1963. What’s more, I was born in Taipei and grew up there and did not make my way to the U.S. until 1993.

I looked at my husband, and although he looked as puzzled as I was, he did give me the “a-ha” look that confirmed what was racing through my mind. Mr. Monk was right.

The Chinese Exclusion Act, a federal law enacted in 1882, was not repealed until 1943 (China was, after all, an ally during WWII…) when Chinese already residing in the U.S. were permitted to become naturalized citizens. However, it was not until the Immigration Act in 1965 when the federal law in the U.S. was relaxed enough to allow large number of immigrants, especially from the non-European parts of the world (contrary to the belief by the politicians at that time, I am sorry to point this out), to enter the country legally. The Civil Rights Movement led by Dr. King in the 1960s opened the eyes of many Americans to the rampant racism permeating the country and therefore made the passage of the Immigration Act even thinkable.

“You are right. It is possible that Mommy would not have been allowed to enter this country if the Civil Rights Movement had never happened.”

As I looked at Mr. Monk, his beautiful face, wondering what was inside that little head of his, it came to me: And there was the laws against interracial marriages!

Anti-miscegenation laws were not eradicated completely from the U.S. until 1967. As a matter of fact, as recently as in October 2009, a Justice of the Peace in Louisiana refused to officiate the civil wedding of an interracial couple, citing his concern for the wellbeing of the interracial offspring produced from such a union. (No, I am not making this shit up… I wish I were. Believe me.)

I added, “You are right. Without Dr. King, it is possible that daddy and mommy were not even allowed to get married.”

“And that means I would not even be here!” Mr. Monk said with amazement, looking pleased and proud that his existence on earth was made possible because Dr. Martin Luther King gave that speech, 47 years ago.

And he was right.

32 thoughts on “We are all in this

  1. TechnoBabe

    This is a lovely family story and brings home in a personal way for you a reason to pay tribute to the hard work of Dr. King and how his dedication made positive changes to this country. And hopefully, opened some thick skulled minds as well.
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  2. ThePeachy1

    as an obviously anglo freckled green eyed, red headed womanin the deep south. It would be easy to say Dr Kings efforts did little for me. However that would be such a lie. His efforts were the starting point of what would some day make it possible that my mixed race nephew could come spend summers with me and partake in all our family outings without 1 nasty stare. ( well that and the fact I would have punched anyone in the throat had they questioned it). He’s a marine now, yes I am proud. My husband is native american, we know this because his mother and his grandmother were part of the trail of tears and on the indian rolls, were you signed up so they could keep track of that horrible race of savages that had their land stolen and were nearly eliminated from the earth. He was able to join the military which brought him to my city to meet, marry and reproduce little blonde haired blue eyed indians with. Family tree research led me to find out my fathers VERY SOUTHERN OLD SCHOOL side of the family did indeed protest too much. The were were from Latin decent John Basque Sketoe Birth abt 1756 in Mahón, Menorca, Spain. Took the American last name Sketoe ( also skeeto, an skeetoe) because they were indentured servants brought here to turn the east coast of Florida into a habitual area. and all the indentured servants who worked off their “debt” took the last name of Skeeto because of poor English and the fact they name for all immigrants in Florida was Skeeto ( as in mosquito) . At 21 I worked in the deep south in a courthouse that had a “colored entrance” and a “colored drinking fountain”. of course the signs and rules had been removed but everyone knew the story and it sickened me, but then it gave me strength. To know even here, so much had changed that I could be the godmother of a beautiful little boy who had a African American Mother that worked with me and an Anglo Dad who was a cop. The other day my 9 year old said, ” why are some people brown? some pink and some speckled”. At first I drew a deep breath because at 4th grade race smacked him in the face. Then I realized, he said, brown, pink and speckled. Wow. The next generation will be even better. Thanks Dr King for starting it all. The first step is the hardest.

    Reply
    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      Talking to kids about race is tricky. I want to be open but I am worried that they may say something outside of the house that can be misinterpreted. In this country, now, there is this tendency to see any discussion of race as racist because “we are supposed to be color blind.”

      No. I don’t want you to be color blind when you see me. I am Chinese. I am proud of it. My kids are biracial and they are proud of it. That is such a big part of each individual, deliberately overlooking it is almost insulting, like I have a big mole on my nose and you are trying not to notice it or refer to it.

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    1. Absence Alternatives Post author

      I would not have known these if it were not for the classes I took. I don’t think it is common knowledge. For instance, I was surprised that many people, even in California, did not know about the Japanese internment during WWII.

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  3. dufmanno

    Aw, this is incredible. I wish I was more coherent and could pull better words from my mucus encrusted head to tell you how much this moved me and how glad I am you are here but I’m at a loss due to a raging case of plague or Ebola, I’m not sure which.
    Anyway, I’m with Tom about the ability of this country to forget some of the less stellar things in it’s history. It pays to keep a watchful eye on the past while hoping for a fantastic future.
    xoxo
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  4. Kathryn McCullough

    Wow, this is a powerful post! And an even more powerful conclusion–love that last line. Though it’s clear the pronoun “he” in that last sentence refers to Mr. Monk–it could also echo back to King himself being indeed “right”–having given us “rights”– Nicely done.

    And speaking of civil rights, my partner and I would likely not be together without the precedent set by Dr. King.

    Warm wishes from Haiti,
    Kathy
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  5. Justine

    My own parents were pioneers back in the early seventies when they decided to wed but they’re in a different country so Dr King didn’t have a hand in their union, but it’s nice to know that in different pockets of the world, people were (slowly) coming around to the idea of interracial marriages, and that our lives are made possible because of those who dared to dream and dared to be different.

    Your son made a really great connection – you must be so proud 🙂
    Justine recently posted…Thumbs up to the writer of Why Chinese Mothers are SuperiorMy Profile

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  6. Nance

    Granted that I am very prone to movement these days, but this moved me to tears. What I push myself toward is the kind of grasp of the meaning of events–the ah-ha moments–that your family experienced. Not the “What lesson was intended?,” question, but rather, “What lessons can I possibly wring from the beauty and the terror we live?” Or, if you prefer, WTF?
    Nance recently posted…Knotted and UnwoundMy Profile

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