Many of the things that we do or don’t do can be legitimized if only we could find a proper name for it, in conjunction with a cool, catchy definition.
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Once you settle on a name, remember to capitalize it to make it into a Thing. Like so.
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To further reinforce the legitimacy of your parenting style, google and see whether you can find books written based on a similar premise. And of course there it is, out of the 16,562 books listed on Amazon.com under “Parenting (paperback)”.
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“The Idle Parent: Why Less Means More When Raising Kids” in the UK; curiously, "Why Laid-Back Parents Raise Happier and Healthier Kids" in the US with a less inspiring cover...
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Voilà! You’ve got yourself a legitimate school of thoughts to follow (or continue to do or not do what you have been doing or not doing)…
As this article in The New York Times says, “[Y]ou can turn guilt on its head and call it a parenting philosophy.”
“The one constant over the past century has been parents’ determination to find the right answers when it comes to raising their children. In this latest chapter, we have replaced the experts who told us what a good parent worries about with experts who tell us that a good parent doesn’t worry so much. We may even see parents stop aiming to prove how perfect they are and start trying to prove how nonchalant they are.”
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A week before Father’s Day, I asked Mr. Monk to sign the card for my father-in-law. (Let’s for now park the burning question of WHY as soon as you entered into a committed, heterosexual relationship, all remembering and gift giving for miscellaneous dates and holidays became the woman’s job… Yes, let’s shelf it for now until we have some free time…)
“You should put lipstick on and put kisses all over the card to go with the big hug.” I said, without thinking. I was being witty.
“Can I? Oh, can I?” There were stars in his eyes. This kid has been dying to try on my makeup if it were not for the death threat issued by his father.
“Sure. Why not!” I grabbed the camera, thinking, “Honey, this is what happens when you are not around to sign your own father’s Father’s Day card!”
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That is the BEST picture!
ps. My parents were definitely idle parents or whatever. I had few rules, I had no curfew, I could have boys in my room. They may have been a little TOO relaxed.
Robin recently posted…When Your Parents Don’t Know Better
LOL. So glad you ended up with Manly Man. Your parents “lucked out”. 😉
My parents were practically non-existent, which was awesome in high school. Not so awesome when I was younger. But, you know.
Aunt Becky recently posted…Chordae Tendineae
They do say children are resilient. Some parents are lucky enough to have their children turn out brilliantly without making any real efforts. You, m’lady, are iridescent.
I don’t know that I am a nonchalant parent, but I am definitely the anti-helicopter mom……oh but wait, then I sound all negative, and we can’t have that. I am the pro-kids learning to be independant mom. There, that gives it a positive spin. My kids make choices for themselves. They also have responsibilities of their own. (I really need to get on this ‘mixing my drinks’ thing, that is a fab idea) I am seriously over watching kids have fucking meltdowns because parents have pushed them beyond their limits. I’m really sorry that you didn’t accomplish what you should have when you were a kid, but guess what, that isn’t your child’s fault. Back the hell off and allow your child to be a kid! Yep, nonchalant parenting, I like it!
Wicked Shawn recently posted…Sometimes I Have To Say- “Really Self- You Amaze Even Me-”
Your comment has this tendency to distract me. I saw the title of your new post and now I am all, “Can’t be bothered replying to her comment because I really want to go read about it.”
I didn’t realize that was a shaker the boy was holding…thought it was a rocket ship! And, the pipe — it kills me for some reason. Nice post — hope receiving my comment didn’t make you pee too much. Best~
Thank you! 🙂 I did pee but probably not your fault. I have been slacking on my Kegel… Wait. Is that TMI? Come back! Don’t leave!
LOVE IT! I call this school of parenting “Mommyocrity” (Celebrating mediocrity in motherhood) which is the ‘category’ I named on my blog- and, if I ever get an agent (no luck so far- DAMN!), the name of my book!
AWESOME ART!
xoxo and lol to Patty Punker!
marymac recently posted…BlogHer
We need you to get that book published so we can start a movement!!! Seriously. Maybe you should talk to the agent for the Idle Parenting book.
Nonchalant Parenting; I love it!
And that big lipstick smile? How precious is that; serves the hubby right!
Maureen@IslandRoar recently posted…Friendships Made of Steel
I am happy and proud to report that husband actually thought it was funny. 🙂
yeah i’m long over all the judgy mcjudgington parents trying to prove how perfect they are. i’m with the “aim to prove you’re nonchalant” camp. and my daughter is smarter, wittier, stronger, faster, taller, funnier, and more outgoing, coordinator and independent than all of those sniveling little brats with the perfect moms. so put that in your pipes and smoke it. oh that’s right, you wouldn’t think of smoking? i got it, then.
your son is really adorable!
pattypunker recently posted…wtf work bathrooms
Thanks. He’s lucky he’s cute.
Oh, the lipstick is so cute!
My mom was a nonchalant parent. She invented Don’t Ask Don’t Tell way before the military and it applied to everything. When I was a teenager and I came home at 3 a.m., she didn’t ask me where I had been, because if she did I’d have to tell her I was at a bar with a fake ID and then she’d have to figure out what to do about it. It was so much easier to just not ask. Say what you will, but there’s some value to that kind of parenting.
Diane Laney Fitzpatrick recently posted…Iron- Man- Iron
Your mom sounds really awesome!
Hahaha! Those lipstick lips! Too stinkin cute! And to go with Idle Parenting, I just think, yes, I am a parent, but I’m also a person with my own interests separate from my children, you know? SO LEAVE MOMMY ALONE RIGHT NOW. 😉
Right on, sista!
the book cover cracked me up. The kid shaking drinks and dad giving his back to to whole situation…
Fantastic!
Vanilla North recently posted…driving North – soul searching map
That’s why when the book was published in the U.S. they used a completely different cover!
I am totally a nonchalant parent. Oscar has pink toenails, and every time I put on make up he has to have some too. Oh and I’m so good he’s already putting his clothes on himself in the mornings and waking ME up. Yup. The nice thing is his dad doesn’t mind the pink toes or the make up. I think Jesse’s hyper active training and my nonchalance kind of evens things out. He trains him and I reap the benefits.
Randa recently posted…Having Fun with Family
Yup. Most families are like this, with 2 parents that are opposite of each other. Balance achieved.
I’m all for idle parenting. The kid needs to figure some stuff out on their own so that they can in turn be normal human beings!
You know how I am all high-strung and stressed out? My solution to that is to ignore them when I cannot take it any more. I am an extreme person. Ha!
That is the best post ever!! I need to get a copy of the Idle Parent for sure. I may have actually written it and then forgotten. Nonchalant parents rock!! Carol
Thank you for visiting and commenting! We need more people to join this movement! LOL