Tag Archives: funny scary

What I learned from using a Neti pot: Waterboarding IS torture!

14 Replies

For the new diagnosis of my hacking cough, the good doctor not only put me on steroid and on codeine, he also recommended the use of Neti pot. Up till this day, I have never even heard of such a thing. He showed me a sample.
neti_pot

How adorable! It’s a mini teapot!

It was adorable until he demonstrated how to use it…

(I seriously was surprised by how many pictures of Neti Pot in action are online. People never ever disappoint.)


Neti Pot in Action Pictures, Images and Photos

Yew!

I will of course spare you the details since I am nice and classy like that.  The point of this post is to share with you the light bulb that went up when I was administering Neti Pot to myself:

I was scared when water went into my nose.  My first reaction was fight, and then flight.  And that was a very small amount of water.  And I did it to myself.  The sensation of water coming in was frightening even at that.  Imagine Waterboarding.

No.  I cannot imagine it, not even remotely.

I will admit to ANYTHING if it were done to me.  Just the mere thought of it.  ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.

I would have been a lousy spy.  I’d better start carrying a piece of cyanide hidden inside my tooth.

p.s. IF you ever need to use Neti Pot, be warned, water will drip out of your nose without warning at any given moment, several hours after the use.  I have no idea where that water was, but it gushed out of my nose. More than once.  Imagine my surprise when I went to pick up the fundraiser goods from the PTA moms this afternoon…   Yeah.

The silver lining is, they’ll probably never ever ask me again to join the PTA.

“They’re Made Out of Meat” by Terry Bisson – One of the best short stories found on the Interweb

Leave a reply

Here is how the story begins…

“They’re made out of meat.”

“Meat?”

“Meat. They’re made out of meat.”

“Meat?”

“There’s no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They’re completely meat.”

… … …

Please do continue to read the short story, “They’re Made Out Of Meat“, the original on Terry Bisson’s website

Of course I learned of this short story from one of the Tweets on my Twitter stream.  After I RTed it and stumbled it and emailed it to everybody that I know of who will get a kick out of this, it simply was not enough.

I truly feel it is our duty as Interweb citizens to share all the wonderful things available on the Net. (Yes, I admit.  I am a dork. Notice that I said, a dork, and not a geek.  As Geeks have now gained some sort of mythical status in our pop culture.  They are the cool dorks, with potential to make millions…)

So here it is: my meager attempt to do my part. To let as many people know as possible of this great, humorous, thought-provoking, piece of science fiction.  It will make you laugh, and it may also make you think about our existence in this dark, cold, lonely universe…

Now I am off to read more about the science fiction writer, Terry Bisson.

Posted via web from The Absence of Alternatives

Maybe, just maybe, The People of Walmart has something to teach us?

3 Replies

Scene 1:

There is this new website, People of Walmart, that’s gaining the buzz.  (Heck, even The Bloggess mentioned them as “shit-I-didn’t-write-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome” for this week…)

(Note: Time.com also wrote about it on August 31, 2009, the day after this post was originally published.)

Here is one of the most excellent specimen, in all its glory:

43

(Do check out the guy’s YouTube site as advertised on the back of his jacket…  Did I? Of course!)

Like a guilty pleasure and inexplicable obsession, I gawk at the pictures on a daily basis ever since I was alerted to its existence, shaking my head, unable to avert my eyes away from the grotesque.  The proverbial Train Wreck, and I am one of the Rubber-neckers.

I tweeted.  Sent the link to everybody I know.  “Hilarious. You’ve got to see this!”

Scene 2:

Last week Jezebel.com brought this to our attention:

Glamour Shocks Readers By Featuring Plus-Size Model’s Belly

0814-lizzie-miller_vg

Lizzie Miller by all means is a gorgeous woman. We all agreed. The reaction from female readers to Glamour’s featuring her, tummy and thighs and all, is spetacular yet not surprising.

I want to believe with all my heart that this picture is going to stop myself from agonizing over my body image, to convince myself that what I see in the mirror is good enough – I am not greedy.  I don’t ask for “gorgeous”.  I am only asking for “confident”.  But despite being a gullible person when it comes to panhadlers, I, decidedly, unconsciously, took a cynical stance towards this whole “Rah Rah Big is Beautiful” self-congratulatory outbreak of celebrations in the cyber space.

And as usual, I feel guilty because I desperately want to do the right thing.

Scene 3:

I came upon this blog post by chance:

News Flash! Average is Beautiful. Then Why Am I Having a Fat Day?

“Jane” eloquently put in words what I could not have expressed.  The witty title alone summed it up.  Here is the part that resonated with me, hitting me like a bucket of cold water and an injection of warm vodka at the same time:

So I sit here. Feeling fat. And all this media coverage saying size 12 is beautiful hasn’t made me feel much better at all.

Although many would consider my self-critique of being overweight as insincere whining, “Is she backdoor-bragging? That bitch!”  Let’s face it, I am Asian, and if I am not willowy, I am considered fat. Also, I am just better at hiding the extra pounds:

Control-top panty hose, body shapers, smoothers, I have come to accept this, are my friends.

But are they really?

69291

We have come a long way since the Corset scene in Gone with the Wind, or have we?

*See “Hattie McDaniel: What We Don’t Know About Mammy” for a re-reading of the Mammy character if this picture unsettles you, still, after you have seen it so many times…

Scene 4:

Back to People of Walmart, and this time, we encounter “Pink Belly“…

461

Part of me naturally gawked and tzzked at the unsightly middle bulge, the Muffin Top of all Muffin Tops, wondering why anybody in their right mind would let it all hang out like this.

“OMG, does she really think that is attractive?”

Part of me though wanted to say, sincerely,

“I salute you.  I admire you for the courage that I do not possess.  You go girl! Be yourself! Say No to corset! And wear whatever the fuck your heart desires!”

Anna May Wong in “Daughter of the Dragon”

Leave a reply

There is so much theorizing and critique one can do based on this one image, I don’t even know where to start…

Or, if you don’t mind, I find it hilarious.  Is it a sign that we have come a long way now that we can feel confident enough to make fun of it?

This photo is found on Dr. Macro’s HQ Movie Scans

I am facinated by pictures of Anna May Wong, especially these other photos from Daughter of the Dragon:

Anna May Wong - Daughter of the Dragon

Anna May Wong (Daughter of the Dragon)

Anna May Wong (Daughter of the Dragon)

Anna May Wong (Daughter of the Dragon)

She was a third-generation Chinese American.

“You know, if only I could just make a decent cup of coffee, I could relax!”

1 Reply

If you really want to contextualize the social and cultural circumstances in which this Folgers commercial was made, then we can all go back to school and read upon all the feminist histories and theories. But this commercial simply makes me laugh out loud. It makes us feel better about ourselves, about how far we have come. Like the fact we now have an African American as the President, racism must be no more.

If only I could just make a decent cup of coffee, I could relax!

If only life were that simple…

p.s. Read the comments, and decide how far we have come.

p.p.s. I always wince when people lament about the Good Old Days. Read the comments, and see for yourself why.

This is why I love the grouchy old man Stewart…

1 Reply

You can debate the merits of HCR or whether Mr. Stewart did “OWN” Betsy McCaughey on this segment (she may be crazy but she has guts, you have to give her that!) What Jon Stewart said at 2:00 is the reason why I love and respect him.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Exclusive – Betsy McCaughey Extended Interview Pt. 2
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes		 Political Humor Healthcare Protests

Is this what Easter Bunny looks like?

6 Replies

I don’t know why this picture so startled me that I could not stop laughing for 10 minutes.

Oh my god! I completely lost my bearings so that my co-worker needed to tell me to “Get a hold of yourself, lady!”

This goes to prove that NO, you do not want to see Easter Bunny come true, and that my instinct was correct all along,

“Kids, now here is the thing: Easter Bunny is not real. Can you imagine a giant bunny bouncing around in our backyard, and on rainy days, inside our house, hiding candies? What? Are you more stupid than I think? Can you not imagine how gross that would be, a giant bunny?”

Now they can see it with their own eyes. Awesome!

 

My apology to Kathleen Parker. Frank Gaffney is way crazier…

Leave a reply

Now I feel bad for lambasting Kathleen Parker for hinting at a tenuous relationship between Obama and Osama because of the rhyming last names.

(This reminds me: is it now a good time to resurrect the old Internet sensation the Llama Song?)

I was alerted to an article by Frank Gaffney, “America’s first Muslim president?” Turns out Ms. Parker’s criticism is quite reasonable compared to Mr. Gaffney’s read of Obama’s Cairo speech.

Is he for real? It’s got to be a parody. Simply too good to be true. But it is. I. Don’t. Know. What. To. Say.

Read it for yourself.

Wow.

Highlights of “arguments” made by Gaffney:

With Mr. Obama’s unbelievably ballyhooed address in Cairo Thursday to what he calls “the Muslim world” (hereafter known as “the Speech”), there is mounting evidence that the president not only identifies with Muslims, but actually may still be one himself. Consider the following indicators:

• Mr. Obama referred four times in his speech to “the Holy Koran.” Non-Muslims — even pandering ones — generally don’t use that Islamic formulation.

• Mr. Obama established his firsthand knowledge of Islam (albeit without mentioning his reported upbringing in the faith) with the statement, “I have known Islam on three continents before coming to the region where it was first revealed.” Again, “revealed” is a depiction Muslims use to reflect their conviction that the Koran is the word of God, as dictated to Muhammad.

• Then the president made a statement no believing Christian — certainly not one versed, as he professes to be, in the ways of Islam — would ever make. In the context of what he euphemistically called the “situation between Israelis, Palestinians and Arabs,” Mr. Obama said he looked forward to the day “. . . when Jerusalem is a secure and lasting home for Jews and Christians and Muslims, and a place for all of the children of Abraham to mingle peacefully together as in the story of Isra, when Moses, Jesus and Muhammad (peace be upon them) joined in prayer.”

Now, the term “peace be upon them” is invoked by Muslims as a way of blessing deceased holy men. According to Islam, that is what all three were – dead prophets. Of course, for Christians, Jesus is the living and immortal Son of God.

In the final analysis, it may be beside the point whether Mr. Obama actually is a Muslim. In the Speech and elsewhere, he has aligned himself with adherents to what authoritative Islam calls Shariah — notably, the dangerous global movement known as the Muslim Brotherhood — to a degree that makes Mr. Clinton’s fabled affinity for blacks pale by comparison.

Gaffney would have made a huge contribution if he were part of the McCarthy Red Scare investigation team. Just sayin’

Utah Senator Butt-Arse calls Gays immoral. And polygamy is? Where is the Big Love?

Leave a reply

No flaming please.  I didn’t mean to compare Gays to Polygamists.  But if Utah Senator Chris Butt-Ars (A-ha!) has his right to speak what is on his mind, to spout garbage based on stereotypes and gross generalization and nothing else, despite being an elected public official, then I have the right to generalize the State of Utah as still the hotbed of polygamy, and then to generalize polygamy as the Pantheon of immorality.

Hey, it is a free country, right?  Butt-Ars’s Republican colleagues in the Senate seem to believe so.

Here is the gist:

In an interview for a documentary film, “Butt-Ars called gays ‘the greatest threat to America’ and likened them to Muslim radicals. He said homosexuals lack any morals and want special rights.  ‘It’s the beginning of the end,’ Buttars said. ‘Oh, it’s worse than that. Sure. Sodom and Gomorrah was localized. This is worldwide.'”

Butt-ars has been stripped of his chairmanships by Senate Republicans after a closed-door meeting brought about by the outcry, and his Republican colleagues were outraged and they are standing behind him.  (I wish I had loyal friends like these…)  Butt-ars likewise refused to apologize, but rather relished the pride of taking a stand for his own beliefs.  (Imagine: what if we all had showed respect for the slave owners who took the stand for their own beliefs?  Hmmm…)

Below is the lengthy quote from The Salt Lake Tribune because you simply cannot make this stuff up!

“I want the citizens of Utah to know that the Utah Senate stands behind Senator Buttars right to speak, we stand behind him as one of our colleagues and his right to serve this state,” said Senate President Michael Waddoups, R-Taylorsville. “He is a senator who represents the point of view of many of his constituents and many of ours. We agree with many of the things he said. . . . We stand four square behind his right [to say what he wants].”

Buttars, R-West Jordan, said he “totally” disagrees with his removal from the panel. In a statement he plans to post on the Senate’s Web page, he said the action was an attempt to “shy away from controversy.” And, he said, he would not apologize for his comments.

“I don’t have anything to apologize for,” he said.

Wow.  Are you kidding me?  Is this for real?  In this day and age?  I must be incredibly naive to be astounded by these news lately so easily.

This and the Cartoon from the New York Post yesterday are reminders that we should not be complacent about “How far we have come along” despite the victory of having elected the first African American POTUS.  Baby, we’ve still got a long way to go…

“When it comes right down to it,” Buttars said in his statement, “I would rather be censured for doing what I think is right, than be honored by my colleagues for bowing to the pressure of a special-interest group that has been allowed to act with impunity.”