I first discovered this instruction and posted it in 2009. I just recently found the original article where this set of “rules” came from:
The American dream is to be extraverted. We want our children to be “people who need people.” We want them to have lots of friends, to like parties, to prefer to play outside with their buddies rather than retire with a good book, to make friends easily, to greet new experiences enthusiastically, to be good risk-takers, to be open about their feelings, to be trusting. We regard anyone who doesn’t fit this pattern with some concern. We call them “withdrawn,” “aloof,” “shy,” “secretive,” and “loners.” These pejorative terms show the extent to which we misunderstand introverts…
Introverts need to learn about the positive benefits of their personality type. They need to be taught that reflection is a good quality…
The time has come to respect the introverts in our families and classrooms, and the hidden introvert in ourselves.
Source (1999)
This article was published in 1999. More than a decade later, I do not think the world has changed for the introverts. Perhaps we all need such a reminder once in a while. Because it is very easy to forget.
I love this list! I am an introvert and so is my child. It always amazed me when her teachers would go on and on about how great she was to have in class but then move right into the whole we need make her more outgoing! It was more of a fight to get people to let her be her natural self…but somehow she did it…and she is has no problem now telling people when she needs space.
Jeane recently posted…Why do you write?
Guilty as charged! I have to constantly remind myself to NOT force Mr. Monk out of his “shell”. He’s fine. And he does not like to share with people his feelings and thoughts when he does not want to. (And whenever he does, he tends to tell too much of the truth…) I just have to accept that that is who he is…
I like this post. I agree with Secret Agent Woman that it is a continuum and that people can have aspects of both.
Unknown Mami recently posted…Fast and Cheap
I agree. I fall in both. But I do like to share my feelings, well, as you can tell…
I asked my husband for 15 minutes of lead-time before he goes to bed. I thought I was just crazy. Introverted sounds much better.
LOL. Stick with Introverted. Make a t-shirt. I am NOT CRAZY. I am just Introverted.
Love it! The older I get, the more introverted I am as I’d much rather retire with a good book or just hang out at home by myself than go out to socialize. However, living with extroverts make it difficult to sustain that…
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You probably feel like Mr. Monk… I often wonder what it feels like to be him… then I feel like a failure as a mother. I really cannot understand his world.
Great rules, Lin.
Note: The last few times I’ve tried reading your blog, I had trouble actually accessing your site for some reason, so I’m so glad to actually leave a comment today. I’ve missed your posts.
Kathy
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Thank you for these nice words! xxoo
Good rules for everyone!
lifeintheboomerlane recently posted…My Night With Ashton
I agree!
I think these are good rules for all people, not just introverts.
Diane Laney Fitzpatrick recently posted…Mono-a-Mono Vision, I Heart You
Yup. But introverts need more “protections” from the extraverts and the extroversion-obsessed society we live in.
I live with three introverts (I’m including myself here) I’m going to print that list and give it the lone introvert in my house.
As soon as she learns how to read.
Brilliant Sulk recently posted…Crazy. Oh Yes I Am.
You mean the lone Extravert in your house. I wonder whether one Extravert can defeat 3 introverts. What’s the proper ratio? Let me know when you find out, ‘k?
Great post. Being an introvert myself, I couldn’t agree more. If there are other introverts out there who might like to embrace their type of vert, check out the book titled, The Introvert Advantage. It really helped me realize that there were many other people just like me. It was comforting to see that many of the things I do, other introverts do as well. Thanks subWoW.
Jotter Girl recently posted…30 Second Story…….Esther’s Obedience School
THANK YOU!!!!! I will check out the book! Send more info my way if you have it. I really need to learn how to parent one and not be an asshole sometimes.
But good luck getting the extroverts not to interrupt the introverts! And of course, it’s not a bipolar characteristic, it’s all on a continuum and there are people who are mixes of the traits. I think of myself as the grown version of the slow-to-warm-up baby – initially quiet and introspective but more gregarious once I’m comfortable. I seem to need a mix of time with others to energize me and time alone to restore me.
Since that article was aimed at parents and teachers, I think the real message is that there isn’t one right personality and its important to respect and value how the child approaches the world. And by extension, to recognize that we all have our own particular way of dealing with social settings and there isn’t a right or wrong to it.
secret agent woman recently posted…Spinal Tap’s got nothing on me.
Nicely put! I LOLed at “good luck getting the extroverts not to interrupt the introverts!” and cried inside a bit too. It happens in our house on an almost daily basis… We need to do a better job. All these extraverts…