Who’d have thought that a post titled “Warning: Do Not Read This If You Are My Husband” would pique my husband’s interest? The man normally does not read my blog posts. He is content to read the ones I forward to his email inbox. But I forgot that he does read my tweets, esp. when he is trapped on the runway after landing. So out of the blue I received this IM from him:
“Cocoon? WTF? LOL!”
BUSTED! Ugh.
This weekend as we sat through the previews before the movie started, he commented as if he were merely continuing a discussion that happened just minutes ago, “I cannot believe you did not include Daniel Day-Lewis! Wasn’t he in The Unbearable Lightness of Being?” which was based on my favorite book by Milan Kundera.
“Well, I did not want to have sex with Tomas because he is an unfaithful womanizer!” So it is true: I ended up choosing the “five fictional characters that I would gladly hump” based on the potential of their leading a Happily Ever After with me. So predictable. So stereotypically… eh… woman.
“Well. I still think you should have included Daniel Day-Lewis on your list.”
“I will find you!” I blurted out the greatest line from The Last of the Mohicans as I remembered how hawt Hawkeye is. Hawt and loyal. Which just make him so much hotter.
We looked at each other and made an ill attempt to recite, “I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you,” the line that brings me to tears every time I think of it. I swooned from the vision of Hawkeye behind that waterfall.
“See? I told you. You should have included him on your list.”
“FINE! If you are so good at it, why don’t you go make your own list?”
Next thing I knew, he had a pad of paper on his lap and a pencil poised in mid-air, looking rather pensive. He put down Number 1 without any hesitation and then jumped to Number 3. This man KNEW who Number 3 on his list should be. Seriously?! As he was stuck on Number 2, the movie we were watching was wasted on him.
Served me right for forgetting that I was dealing with a compulsive list maker. There are pieces of paper with miscellaneous lists scribbled on them hidden all over the house. Too bad he is not a compulsive task finisher. Just sayin’…
Here is the list (the original email text even!) as painstakingly put together by my husband, with my approval. The man has great taste after all… *cough cough* though I was a bit sad that Jessica Rabbit did not make the list.
1. Catherine-Zeta Jones in Entrapment (if you have seen the movie, you know the scene)
2. Gymnast in Blue Thunder
3. Jessica Alba in Dark Angel
4. Michelle Pfieffer as Catwoman, or LadyHawke.
5. Devil’s Advocate — the one Al Pacino wants Keanu to lay at the end… (Christabella, played by Connie Nielson)
Groups
1. The girls of Austin Powers (all three at once) (Elizabeth Hurley, Heather Graham, Beyonce)
2. The Fly girls from In Living Color
If you are scratching your head wondering about the “Gymnast”, no worries. The man was thoughtful enough to include a link to a self-explanatory photo:
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Kind of NSFW…
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Nothing is really showing…
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May also make you feel very bad about yourself…
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Or make you hot and bothered…
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You have been forewarned…
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"This is what you do when you have a super duper high-tech helicopter: You hover outside of buildings where there are naked women doing aerobics."
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Tagged as:
a picture is worth a thousand words,
is it me
In addition to Threadless Tees, I also try to seem young and hip and on top of things by subscribing to Wired Magazine. Although I have been caught in this conundrum of inadvertently outing myself as an old fart by actually subscribing to the print edition. Seriously, who subscribes to print editions of magazines any more? And since I am in the confessional mode, I may as well tell you that I still buy music CDs. Yup. I am single-handedly supporting the dinosaurs.
That being said, until the day I can sit in the open (in my own house, mind you) reading without being bothered, I will always prefer papers to hard metal/plastic. They are just a lot easier to read in a locked bathroom, with the fan on to drone out the incessant, “Mom. Mom. Mommy. Mommy. Mom. Mama.”
As always, I was happy to receive my latest Wired. I skipped the important article on Sergey Brin’s search for a cure for Parkinson’s Disease and tore immediately into the shopping feature (Shut up!). I saw this and my inner 16-year-old boy made me choke on my cocktail:
ETA: Of course the Product of the Month is a super duper $2,000 sub-woofer for your home theatre, Beolab 11 by the revered Bang & Olufsen.
You said it. Not me.
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Ok. Not to be sexist or anything, I am going to guess that the department that worked on testing, rating and writing about the 39 summer gears is mostly male. So nobody snickered or doing a Beavis & Butthead’s “Hehehe.” Is it just me? Really? I am very impressed.
Let me break it down for you…
You know Georgia O'Keeffe?
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Georgia O'keeffe. The artist famous for you know who-who...
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Come on! I cannot be the only one...
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In order to drive my point home, I have taken the liberty to dress the “Tulip” up…
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Ta da!
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Oh please please please don’t let me be the only one…
CODA on 7/7: I am happy to report that after almost 1 month, I am finally “vindicated”… This picture is now on Wired.com and the comments proved that well, it does not take any imagination to see this fancy sub-woofer as a, eh, modern piece of art…
Tagged as:
imma crazy like that,
is it me,
wired
Sure I can take a rest today. Sure I can go out and have fun and enjoy myself. (Well, I actually can’t since my husband left for Canada this morning… So I am single-parenting for the next ten days…) But really, if things are not taken care of at home TODAY, I know I have to do it TOMORROW.
What is the point?
I hate Mother’s Day.
I am celebrating it by allowing my children to be on the computer all day.
Ok. I don’t really hate Mother’s Day. Over the years I have learned to treat today just like every other Sunday. No expectations. No disappointment.
THIS is also the motto of how I live my life.
Although it kind of became worse when Mr. Monk threw a tantrum because he didn’t like the restaurant I suggested for dinner.
“I don’t want to go to Chef Ping’s!!”
“But today is MOTHER’S DAY!” I guess I can guilt-trip with the best of them.
“I hate Chef Ping’s!”
“Would you like a grilled cheese sandwich instead?”
“I WANT TO GO TO A RESTAURANT FOR MOTHER’S DAY! BUT I DON’T WANT TO GO TO CHEF PING’S!”
“You don’t eat anything else but white rice honey when we go to a Chinese restaurant!”
“NO! I DON’T! Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah…”
Oh lord. Will this day never end?
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Flowers for me from my 7 yo. He took the picture also. This is one of the hundreds of pictures he took of the same subject
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Tagged as:
guilt is the trip mothers take often,
is it me
